Cabin Fever
by joyofrediscoveringyou
Summary: Finn Hudson chose a solitary life, one of a hermit, to get away from all the pain. Until one day, a broken girl appears on the doorway of his secluded cabin, begging to be saved. AU Finchel. *Complete*
1. Finn, interrupted

_**AN: Hi everyone! I'm here with a new Fic.  
Rating's M because of the language and some hard upcoming scenes. Hope you enjoy!  
Disclaimer: I own nothing, not Glee or any character/labels here.**_

* * *

Cabin fever only applies to those who have a life outside the cabin. Cabin fever means you get crazy from being on your own, without anything to do, in a secluded area. For most, we cannot imagine being away of our families, friends, computers or phones for over a day. No communication for days, weeks, months or even years logically sounds like a terrible form of torture. But what if there was no one you wished to communicate with? What if, truly, you had no real life to speak of? What if your head was so messed up, you literally can't handle to even be around others? Then, the logic of cabin fever fails. More so, what was torture before now meant sanity and solitude. Then, Cabin fever didn't apply.

For Finn Hudson, his secluded home in a forgotten wood was his haven. He was one of those few who seek what others deemed as painful. He had literally extracted himself from society into oblivion. Routine had taken over his life and for that, he couldn't be more thankful. Nothing could or would ever disrupt his peace. When he initially sought this refuge, his family thought he needed help. How could he explain the pain he was in? How afraid, broken and damaged he was? Fortunately, his mom knew or at least had known what a pain like that could do to someone. Eventually, his loved ones understood, albeit hesitantly, that he simply needed space. Space from everything and everyone. No-one knew where he was. He would just appear on important days and occasional weekends to see his family; otherwise he'd be completely unreachable. Kurt often went full-on dramatic on this little fact, claiming that he needed to contact his brother. Finn only shook his head sadly whenever his stepbrother brought that up. Only his mom had his emergency phone number, yet she was wise to use it only if there were to be a real problem. Four years came and went, it never rang once.

One chilled October evening, Finn sat on his front porch inhaling the pure scent of the woods. He had built the cabin with his own hands, camping next to it during its construction. Now, a small rustic cabin stood surrounded by countless trees. He had a small living room, a kitchen, a library and his room. It was all he needed. The land had belonged to his grandfather and had been forgotten for decades. It was simple coincidence he found the property title one day whilst scouring through the attic. He never forgot about it and years after finding it, he did all the legal procedures necessary to own it. As he was the only heir of grandpa Hudson, it wasn't a difficult task to accomplish. He had decided to go all natural, he didn't even want electricity because that meant his address would be listed… and Finn Hudson did not want to be found,

He nursed his coffee in his hands, just watching the steam float and blend with the night. He figured this couldn't go on forever but for now he couldn't see why not. Life was so peaceful out here. No one here brought him pain. The downside was that no one brought him happiness but that was something he knew came with the territory. Sure, he was lonelier than that turtle in Galapagos that was the last of his species but, he didn't mind. Honestly, he lost his faith in humanity a long time ago. Here he was content and if he could, he'd spend his last breaths in the cottage he called a home.

He had taken a liking to star watching, often staring as the night sky slowly moved in the skies. From the position of the stars, he realized it was about two in the morning. He had to get up at six to tend to his garden. He didn't want to go to sleep. He liked feeling insignificant under the skies, all his worries inconsequential in the grand scheme of things. Sighing, he stood. Quickly, he dressed in his pajamas, turned off the candle and went to sleep. He had not been dreaming for once. His eyes simply saw different colors explode before him over an endless black. Despite being deeply asleep, he felt frantic pounding on his door. At first, he was sure it was a dream. Who could possibly knock on his door? There was nothing but a gas station a few miles back and no one knew where he lived. The next town, if you could even call it that, was forty-five minutes away by car. Fear flooded his body. Robbers? Gang members? He figured that those kind of people wouldn't actually knock, just barge in.

Finn knew he had a rifle by the door – just in case. Logically, he knew whoever had the gut to knock so late would not be a threat. However, he was always afraid and needed the gun even if it just reassured him symbolically. He threw his blanket off him and got up. His big feet moved slowly, as if scared of getting to the door. Unfortunately for him, the cabin wasn't too big so he couldn't delay it any longer. He was in front of the door, so he might as well open it, right? He saw nothing directly in front of him but when his eyes roamed downwards he noticed a crumbled figure on his doorstep. The first thing he saw was long brown hair in tangles, matted with blood. What seemed to be a pink dress was torn in pieces. A face peered under the hair, muddy from dirt and a never-ending stream of tears. It was definitely a girl, though he couldn't tell her age with her looking like that.

"P-please" said a voice, hoarse with exhaustion and pain. "H-he.. Help me."  
With that, she fainted right there, on his "Welcome" mat. She wasn't welcome; Finn normally would have just closed the door on a stranger. But, he had sworn once to save people's lives and he had to respect his oath. Not only that, but could he honestly leave a broken girl to her own luck in the woods? Maybe he was a hermit, but he wasn't cold-hearted. He had to help this girl, screw his personal issues. Softly, he carried the girl to his living room. He was surprised how light she was; he could feel her bones on his arms. He sat her on the worn-out couch and put her legs up. When he was sure her pulse was stable, he rushed to the kitchen to get a damp cloth. Maybe a little cold water could wake her up.

He was concerned by her sudden appearance. What if she was followed by whoever did this to her? Is he in danger too? She might seem innocently helpless, but that didn't mean she wasn't part of a prostitution ring or something. What if she was followed? If so, would big men with guns storm into his house? He needed answers, fast. His need for clarification burned a hole through his chest. It didn't mean he had to be rough with her though. Whoever she was, it looked like she had gone through hell and back. With uncharacteristic tenderness, he swatted her face with the damp cloth. The dirt receded to show soft, olive skin. By the time almost all her face was clean, Finn saw her eyelids begin to tremble. Not wanting to scare her, he sat a bit further back from her. Slowly, oh so slowly, the eyelids opened to reveal chocolate frantically moving side to side, attempting to figure out the surroundings. Complete and utter fear distorted what he thought would otherwise be a beautiful face. She looked at him, too scared to even speak. He decided to go first.

"Hey, relax" he said reassuringly, his voice hoarse from not using it much, "you're safe here."  
"Where am I?" she whispered shakily

"You're in my cabin. About an hour ago, you knocked, asking for help. You kinda collapsed, so I carried you in." he answered.  
"T-thank you, uhm…"  
"My name is Finn. Finn Hudson"  
"Thank you Finn, that was kind of you. My name is Rachel. Rachel Berry."

He liked her name, it was very unique.  
"Well Rachel, how are you feeling? Do you need to go to a hospital or anything like that?"  
"NO!" She screamed, taking him by surprise. " I mean, I'm just exhausted but I'm not in pain. There's nothing broken, it appears."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive. If you want, I can leave now?"

His insides churned. Yes, he did want to be left alone. But, where would she go? Clearly, she walked or ran here. Unless she felt like walking for about an hour, she had nowhere to go.  
"That won't be necessary. You can sleep on the couch, it's huge and you're not. I'll bring a blanket. Tomorrow, you can take a shower and leave. I'll lend you some clothes." He directed her.

He really didn't expect her to burst out crying. Maybe she wanted to leave and his offer insulted her? Maybe she had somewhere to go? Before he could even ask, she started ranting at a speed he didn't think was humanly possible.  
"Oh, where am I supposed to go now? Wherever I go, he'll find me. He'll find a way to drag me back… and I don't know if I'll ever be the same again. I'm sorry, you must think I'm a total freak, but I'm so, so scared."

"Look, I don't know what's going on, but for now you're safe, I promise. I don't know how you found my place, but we're alone. For miles around, the only company you'll find is me" He tried to reassure her, but he was freaking out inside. Who was the person she was so afraid of? Maybe his initial worries were right. Maybe she was in some sort of trouble too big to get involved in.

"Really? I can't be found, at all, here?" her eyes twinkled.

"That's what I said."

"Don't make me go, please. I'm really safe here, I need to be safe. Even if it's for a while. I can't go anywhere I know, it won't be secure. Please, please Finn I beg of you, don't make me leave. If you make me, I'm…. I'm not sure how long I'd survive."

Finn was taken aback at her implicit request; she wanted to stay here? For how long? This girl was insane. He didn't even know what or whom she was running from. Then again, she did look completely terrified. His insides started immediately battling each other. On one hand, the thing he needed most for his sanity was solitude. People were overwhelming and he preferred the company of crickets and yes, even mosquitos. Having her here could only mean actually communicating with someone. Living, sharing his life with another. She said it would be a little while, but how could that be defined? Even the longest life could be categorized as a little while. On the other hand, it was obvious this girl was almost out of her mind. She appeared on his doorstep looking as if she just got in a fight with a bear. The knowledge that it wasn't a wild animal, but a _human_ who had done this to her made the pit of his stomach bubble with rage and disbelief. How could he say no, knowing that if anything happened to her, it would be on him? Then again, how could he even know if she was telling the truth? For all he knew, she might be exaggerating or something. Finn Hudson found himself at a huge crossroads not knowing what to do.

"Look Rachel, I'll think about it okay? I... I live here on my own. I love that and I'm not sure how you'd fit in that. I don't want to refuse my help, I just wonder if I'd actually help."  
More tears, he was reaching the end of his sanity. He'd rather take a tank than a crying girl.

"Whoa, whoa. Calm down. If I'm going to help you, I need to know what's got you so terrified you're begging a man you don't even know for help. I understand you're upset, so I'm going to let you sleep. Tomorrow, you've got to explain if you really want my help. I need to understand why you need shelter so badly. Then, we'll discuss what to do."  
She nodded. He stood up, leaving her because he was afraid. Of what? He couldn't tell. He just couldn't handle it anymore. Her tears were causing him pain. The whole reason he decided to live here was to avoid pain in the first place. He got back to his room, pulled out a couple of blankets, old clothes and returned to the couch to give them to Rachel. She glanced up at him but said nothing. Defeated, he went back to bed. He would only have about two hours of sleep now. He was already out of sight, but did hear the small "Thank you" she sent his way before collapsing on his bed.


	2. Her Story

**A/N: Thank you so much! I'm overwhelmed by the support this story had gotten so far, so thank you x200!  
Disclaimer: I own nothing.  
P.S. Finchel is forever! (and they're my muse)  
Enjoy!  
**

* * *

The next day Finn awoke with the sun, as usual. He felt groggy and sluggish, clear indicators of his shortened sleep thanks to a certain brunette. He reached the basin next to him and splashed water on his face, waking up instantly. He reached for a shirt and pants to wear for tending the garden. Despite being an unofficial giant, he tried to be as quiet as possible going down the hall not to disturb his unexpected guest. Much to his surprise, the girl was already up. She had somehow managed to make juice and two fruit bowls for them for breakfast. She was also sporting a huge smile. That confused him. Wasn't she crying and begging last night? What happened that made her so seemingly cheery? As he approached, he could tell her happy demeanor was nothing but a mask from the ways her eyes didn't shine. He would know, he was a pro when it came to wearing masks.

"Good morning Finn. I hope you don't mind I intruded in your kitchen, just wanted to make a gesture for what you did for me. Not many would have and even if you kick me out today, I owe you much."

"It's ok. It looks nice anyway. Thanks" he nodded towards her and quickly wolfed down the breakfast hoping not to talk more just yet. He was still trying to get his bearings straight. If anything, Rachel Berry was a roller coaster he wasn't sure he would ever sign up for. Not talking while he processed was the only thing he wanted. However, this girl didn't have the same notions.

"I'm ready. To tell you, if you still want to know? Otherwise, I'll leave. It's OK, really. I realize I'd be imposing on you if I insist, so this is you chance."

Again, she was giving him an out. An easy escape from her life and her mess. He was tempted to tell her to leave. Tempted to have her on her way so he could go back to complete confinement. He couldn't. If there was one weakness Finn surely had was his need to protect others. It was what eventually destroyed him yet try as he might; the need never really went away.

"Nah" he said after swallowing a piece of strawberry. "I'm not an asshole. Why don't you tell me what's going on, and I'll decide whether to help you or not?" Now there was not turning back. It didn't mean he would help her for sure, but it did mean he had opened the door to the possibility. He really hoped, this time, his instincts were right for once.

"I… okay." She answered surprised. "But please promise not to judge me? Please? I've never told any of this to anyone, I couldn't. I don't know what to do anymore."

"I promise." Finn realized whatever she was about to tell him was going to be painful for her, so he actually tried for the first time in years to put what he hoped was a reassuring smile on his face. It had been so long it actually hurt to smile. Thankfully, she got his message so she carried on.

* * *

_Rachel Berry was born a star in a dark sky, shining all alone amongst clouds of ignorance. She grew up in a small, forgotten city; the only thing supporting her endless loneliness was her undeniable talent. Singing, acting and dancing were her whole life and New York City her ultimate destination. After years of bullying thanks to ignorant Neanderthals, she finally made it! New York, NYADA, here she was and ready to take the city by storm. The smell, even the nasty ones like smoke, was glorious for Rachel Berry. She loved New York, the good, the bad and the ugly. In her bones, she knew she was born to be a New Yorker._

_Before she knew it, she was mid-way through her second year at NYADA. Initially, she thought it would be easier. She was to study amongst people who were as talented or even more talented than her. A small nest of peers. It didn't necessarily surprise her when she realized no one was interested in friends, rather on whether or not they could outdo their competition. She adopted that attitude too. By the beginning of her fourth semester she was on top of her class, alienating further her classmates who now only saw her as the alpha needing to be replaced. Honestly? Rachel couldn't care. Especially not after her hard work had finally shown real rewards._

_She was cast as the lead in NYADA's spring musical, _West Side Story._ Usually, the leads were usually reserved for Juniors and Seniors, not a Sophomore. More than anything, she'd get to work under the one and only Jesse St. James. He was the youngest director ever to win a Tony for his musical _Just Fantasy. _He honored his alma mater by directing their plays once a year. He was also in the habit of hiring the most talented students for some of his plays, usually as extras or understudies. Rachel hoped to impress him and maybe he could be the door towards the stardom she knew in her bones she deserved. Connections are everything in show business._

_At the beginning, things could not be better. Jesse was more than captivated by her and even shed a couple of tears the first time he saw her sing "Someday". Not only that, but he was actually really nice and sweet to her. He promised her stardom, riches and fame. He said she deserved it and this play was one of the many they'd work on in the future. Jesse even developed the habit of calling her "my muse". Used to loneliness and envy, Rachel soaked up all of his attention willingly. Soon, it became obvious Jesse wanted __**more**__ than artistic collaboration. He always would play with her hair, grab her hand or disrespect her personal space. She just thought he was just naturally touchy-feely and ultimately harmless. She didn't see the danger because she wanted to believe she actually deserved one friend in her life. Her debut on a New York stage went beyond expectations. Never before had her heart and soul been so raw in front of an audience. When she sang, everyone could feel it. Opening night made every single person leave in tears. Much to her surprise, various critics attended the function and praised her in their blogs. She was said to be the revival of the Broadway's golden age and the talent of the century all rolled into one. They had a week-long run and for the first time, NYADA did not have enough seats available for all the public._

_After her last performance to yet another standing ovation, Rachel was in her dressing room taking off the heavy stage make-up. Flowers adorned her mirror and the only thing that could make her sad was the fact her dads were traveling again and could not see her. Regardless, they did call and made her promise she would get a copy of the performance. By the time her hair was rid of all the hairspray and her face was clean of all chemicals, it was pretty late. She was alone in the theater, or so she thought. She just wanted to go home and sleep. Suddenly, a knock on her door woke her up from her daydreams. Jesse St. James barged in sporting a charming, proud smile on his handsome face._

"_Rachel, this is fantastic!" He picked her up in his arms and spun her around. "This is just the beginning my dear. What would you say if I offered you to be the star of my play?"_

"Jesse, I…"

"_Just imagine it Rachie." She hated that nickname "I mean, I already cast the lead but she's a talentless hag. She has to go. And you… you would be my shinning star darling. With my new play, we can take on the world. What do you say darling, ready for Broadway?"_

"_It sounds incredibly wonderful Jesse, can I think about it?"_

"What is there to think about?" he asked offended.

"_Don't take it the wrong way. I'm… words can't describe how truly thankful I am for your offer. It would be amazing, I know it. You know all I dream about is to see my name in lights and an audience every night, but…"_

"But what, Rachie? There's no buts. I am offering you the world, take it!"

"Jesse, please understand. I'm finishing my sophomore year. I have two years to go."

"Please, you don't need an education, you outshine them all."

"But I just can't let it go! I don't want to be just another uneducated actress with nothing to fall back on. Even if I achieve super stardom and don't need my degree, I'd be happier knowing I have it. I don't want to be a statistic, a drop-out. I need to think about this."

"Rachel, you don't need a diploma. Just me."

"Jesse, maybe in two years? Then you wouldn't need to fire your lead and… I can only get better with time, right? So by the time I'm done, you can have the best version of me possible."

His eyes flashed dangerously "No. Rachel, I want you now. Not in two years or two months. Now or never."

"Then, I don't think I can accept… My answer for now is -"

_Her train of thought was halted by hard slap on the face. Her cheek stung and her ears were ringing. Jesse's voice roared above her pain. _

"_You ungrateful fucking whore. I put my neck on the line accepting you as a lead. I took a chance on your pathetic ass. Who the fuck do you think brought those critics? Me. So I could buzz you up, so you could be my star."_

"I'm really sorry Jesse, but please calm down. Can we talk about this rationally?"

"Rationally? Rational is for you to ditch your stupid education. Don't you get it Rachel? The moment I saw you, I knew you had to be mine. My own star, the lead to all my future creations."

"Jesse, I don't know. It wouldn't feel right…"

Jesse snapped, she could almost hear the last tense string of control breaking loudly inside the director. He grabbed her hair and pulled it backwards, forcibly making her arch her back.

"_You don't seem to understand. I don't care about your fucking feelings Rachel. I take what I want. And right now? I want you" he whispered dangerously in her ear, fingers clasping around her neck. She couldn't speak or move, only stare at Jesse while he forcibly shred her beautiful dress to a million pieces. She didn't scream, didn't even cry for help when she felt his body on and in hers. She said nothing while he repeatedly punched her ribs as he pumped into her. During that whole night, Rachel was repeatedly abused and humiliated by Jesse. She didn't fight because she knew she couldn't, she knew he was crazy enough to kill her. Slowly she let him take every good bit of her and set it aflame. By the time the sun rose in the sky, the optimistic girl was forever gone and now remained the shell of a broken woman. _

_From then on, she became Jesse's puppet. She dropped out of NYADA and starred in a few of his plays. Only when she played another character, in front of an audience, could she feel as if she was breathing. Despite her intense suffering, her soul was made for singing. She knew that it helped some members of her audience; it reached them and maybe even healed them a bit. She had to keep going, even if it was to help others when she couldn't help herself anymore. Personally, things only got worse. Jesse forced her to live with him, his abuse never-ending and his presence all-consuming. Four years she lived the life of his puppet and it seemed he would never tire of it. _

_Now, they were rehearsing for his new play. For the first time since they met, Jesse had to leave her. He had to go to California to meet with a network that wanted to convert his play into a movie. The night before he left was especially brutal. As usual, he raped her but this time it was barely noticeable over his punching and slapping. He even threw her against the floor, cracking her head open. He thought he was able to break her enough for her not to leave while he was gone. Somehow, one last spark of determination flickered still within her. Brokenly, she walked away. She walked and walked until she couldn't anymore. Surprised, she found herself on the highway._

_A truck drove by, accepting her request to take her. She figured it was her safest bet. However, she noticed how the driver was sending her lustful stares. How he made inappropriate comments or used the stupidest excused to brush his hand against her body. Rachel Berry was not about to become another person's prisoner when she just escaped her last torturer. Fortunately, he needed to stop for gas. Once at the gas station, the man went into the restroom. She took her chance and ran towards the woods. She didn't know where she was going or how she would survive, she just knew she needed to get out of there and come up with a plan. She ran until her legs couldn't carry her anymore, but she kept going. Branches hit her face and more than once she fell on the muddy soil. She was about to give up until she saw a beautiful cabin in the middle of the woods. She hesitated to approach it, knowing it could mean more danger. Something in her heart, a sixth sense of sorts, told her she'd be safe. She went up to it and knocked on the door. She met kind amber eyes and then the world was black._

* * *

Finn Hudson had seen many tragedies in his life. Many lost lives, many a death that haunted his soul. He thought himself impervious by now to suffering. Not because he didn't care, but because he thought he had seen it all. Nonetheless, the story of the broken girl broke his heart a little. "Rachel… I… wow. You're so brave, you know that, right? I'm so, so sorry any of that happened to you. No one deserved that kind of pain. What about your parents? Don't they know? Can't you go to them?

"I… I have two dads. I love them with all my heart, you need to know this. All they ever wanted was to see me happy. Because I was such a loner, they equated my happiness with my success. They never noticed anything wrong because they were so ecstatic at how I was triumphing. Besides, they travel a lot to truly be there and Jesse was very smart about where to bruise me. Right now they're on a year-long Euro-trip for their anniversary. With my hectic schedule and the time difference, we don't get to call each other but we write. It's slow, but it works. Besides, I'm sure Jesse will think of searching their home anyway."

"And your friends? They didn't notice either?" Finn couldn't believe it. Even in his isolation he knew he had people out there that truly cared for him. Was this girl really that alone?

"What friends Finn? Weren't you listening? I was all-alone in high school and NYADA. I couldn't talk to my cast mates in the play, under Jesse's orders. Some tried, but eventually desisted when they realized I refused to engage in anything that wasn't polite chitchat. I have no one besides my dads and if they knew… they would blame themselves. They would be completely heartbroken. And that? That I simply cannot bear." She said in a tiny voice.

Finn's insides were burning with fury. Seriously, how could the world be so unfair to a girl that wanted nothing but to see her dreams come true? He had learned long ago the world was a sucky place to live in, but this was beyond his worst pessimism. He forgot his want for loneliness. He had an honorable side and it could not be ignored for another second.

"Okay" He said simply, feeling like he was losing part of him but compelled to help her regardless of his selfish needs.

"Okay?" she looked up confused.

"You can stay, as long as you need. Make this lonely cabin your home too, until you feel safe. But look, I'm not good with people all right? So don't take it like, personal or stuff if I'm not very friendly. Also, you'll be pretty bored out here so I suggest reading the books in my library, as it's going to be your new room."

"You really mean that?" Her eyes shone so bright he was almost blinded. In that moment he knew the sacrifice of his personal life to be worthwhile. He knew that look, it was hope, and if he could help her hope again he would not hesitate. The world, he found, needed a little hope.

"Yes, you can stay. But Rachel, at some point you got to get back to your life."  
A flash of terror surfaced in her eyes.

"Relax, take all the time you need. Just saying, you shouldn't run." He was being a hypocrite, he knew. He was the epitome of running away from your problems. That issue however, need not be discussed.

"Thank you Finn, you're so chivalrous. But I refuse to sit idly by reading while you do all the hard work. From what I gather, you do everything around here naturally? No electricity or internet or anything, right?"  
Finn nodded curtly.

"I get how you collect water, I saw that river a few miles back… or use fire and chop your own wood. But, how do you survive?"

Finn had to appreciate her ingenuity. "I'm not like, a complete caveman you know? I just like the outdoors life. I do go to town, every so often, and stack up on supplies and food. Mostly stuff that won't go wrong like loads of spaghetti, beans, rice or tuna. The rest, I grow."

Her eyes twinkled again. "Y-you, you grow your own vegetables?"

Somehow, that small tidbit of information seemed to cheer her up. He took it as a clue to distract her. "Yup, wanna see?"

"Yes, please!" she squealed. This girl and her sudden changes in demeanor would forever puzzle him.

Finn moved towards the backdoor and opened it, waiting for Rachel to go through it. As soon as they were outside she saw the enormous garden, filled with all kinds of fruits and vegetables. It was pretty basic and had the disadvantage of being sort of useless during winter. Regardless, Finn was doing a good job with it but Rachel thought the food that grew there could be riper, plumper. She then got a brilliant idea.

"Look, Finn. I want to help. As I said, I don't want to feel like a burden and god knows keeping busy will help me heal better than going over every horrific experience with Jesse over and over again. I'm a vegan and I always have grown many of my own vegetables, ever since I was eight. If you agree, I could tend the garden for you?"

"Rachel that's really not nece-"

"But I want to! Trust me, your food will never taste so good! Please? I can't possibly crash your place without doing something for you. After everything you're doing for me, allow me to help."

"If it makes you feel better, whatever." He noticed his tone caused her to flinch and felt immediately sorry. "It'd be cool actually, the garden is a lot of work and winter is coming. I really need to stock up on wood and fix the cabin's roof. Thanks."

"No, thank you." She smiled brilliantly again and Finn hoped she'd heal back to a stage where that smile would be a constant not a rarity.

* * *

**AN2: Sooo, Finn has allowed Rachel to stay now that he knows her story, what will happen to our favourite pair at the Cabin?  
I wanted to say that I actually love Jesse but I needed a bad guy :P**


	3. Ringaling

_**AN: Again thank you so much for your support! It means so much to me you all like this story :) Here's a new chapter; ENJOY!**_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing :P  
**_

* * *

A month passed uneventfully. He initially took over the duty of turning his library into a guest room. Somehow, he had an old mattress he managed to clean. He set up the frame of it with some old wood. Finn was a bit embarrassed, sure that the broken girl was used to finer materials than an old mattress with hard sheets. She didn't seem to mind, quite the contrary. She was completely delighted and he was amazed by her. He even made her a small bedside table. It was actually a big block of wood. She did mention at some point she loved stars so he carved a star on the front of it. Since she didn't have clothes, he donated her a bunch of his. At Kurt's insistence, he always got loads of clothes whenever he visited the family. His stepbrother claimed living in god-knows-where did not mean he got to use the same thing over and over again. Consequently, he had more clothes than he'd ever wear. They didn't look Rachel's size but she couldn't stay in that stained pink dress. She managed to make the clothes her own, often using ropes or sowing (his mom insisted on him having a sowing kit) his shirts to make them look like dresses. She was tiny enough to pull it off.

Transforming the room only took a week in which they only talked about the task at hand. Finn did want to help her, he just couldn't dive right into it. He figured she needed her space. He also needed his space. He wouldn't talk much; just let her ramble occasionally about random topics. They learned to cohabitate without really communicating and for that, he was glad. Besides, he did have loads to do to prepare for winter so he wasn't at home most of the time anyway. They only really saw each other at dinner. Rachel spent all day in the garden, fussing over every single plant. He sometimes caught her singing to them, or to herself. Finn understood why she had been so big on Broadway – no mortal could deny the beauty of her voice. She never knew he was spying, and he somehow enjoyed her lack of awareness. It was like, he could take delight in something without anyone judging or commenting on it. Sure only Rachel was around to talk about it, but that was already too much. Their dinners were comfortable, peaceful. She cooked most of the time, despite his protests. She took advantage of the fact Finn took too long doing repairs and whatnot to start dinner so he had no other choice but to sit back and let her do her thing. Not that he minded. Usually his food was average at best. He learned how to cook in the army and well; their standards for quality were at best average. Rachel's cooking was in comparison a delicacy, a delight only comparable to her voice. She even managed to bake cupcakes, how he'd never know seeing as he didn't have an oven. He wasn't complaining, those cupcakes were small bites of heaven.

One evening during dinner they heard a big crash somewhere in the vicinity. Rachel immediately went pale and ran towards the corner of the kitchen, slumping against the wall and curling up into a ball. Her actions broke Finn's heart. He knew her usual cheeriness was just a mask but he hadn't considered how afraid she still was. He crossed over towards her and shook her shoulder gently.

"Rachel?" he whispered. "What's wrong?"

The broken girl didn't look up. Tears streamed down her face, sobs wrecked her tiny figure. She shook with violence.

"Rachel? Please, say something." He insisted desperately.

"Finn… what was that noise? It's Jesse isn't it? He's coming for me… he's going to kill me…" she whispered

Finn felt sheer protectiveness sweep over him like a tidal wave. "I told you, you're safe here." He sat next to her, not sure if touching her was a good idea. She solved that issue for him, resting her head against his shoulder and her hand on his shirt. "Shh, it's ok. That's not Jesse. And if it were, pretty stupid of him to knock a tree down in the process." He really hoped he was being comforting because he felt _really _uncomfortable in that moment.

"Knock…a tree… down? What?"

"Yeah, that's the sound a tree makes when it falls. It happens, you know? People are always talking about the sound a tree makes when it falls, not realizing they do quite often. Like, the roots are too weak or they've been taken over by a new tree." His arm surrounded her, cradling her into his body. "Rachel, don't be so scared, please. I will protect you, no matter what. From what I gather, a pansy Broadway director has nothing on an ex-military man."

She sniffed a bit. Crap, his shirt was getting dirty. Somehow, he didn't care.

"Wanna see the tree? It's quite cool actually, from the sound it made it was a clean fall. And it's great for me, free wood!"

Rachel shook her head but delicately. She held on to Finn even tighter. He knew she was just de-toxing from the rush of adrenaline and fear she experienced. So, he let her cry. He cradled her tiny, fragile body against his, whispering words of what he hoped was comfort. She cried for hours. His arm went numb. Even his ass hurt from sitting on the hardwood floor. He didn't let his discomfort get to him, he still felt like he needed to protect her. So he did, until her sniffles turned into calmed breathing and then to snores. Great, she had fallen asleep on him. He didn't dare wake her though, he just sat there. He was deep in thought, wondering whether he was out of his league. How was he supposed to help her, when he couldn't be helped? Was the universe playing a sick joke on him, making him responsible for the broken girl? Would it destroy the remnants of his sanity to save her? Even if it would, it was worth it, he decided. He realized that while him being a hermit was fine, he couldn't neglect his responsibility as a human being to help others.

Eventually, his thoughts led him to sleep too. He somehow felt comforted by the small figure drooling on his shirt. It was weird. He was supposed to be comforting her but somehow, she managed to have that effect on him without even trying. In his sleep, he dreamt he was walking down a beautiful field, the sun shining above him. He was in peace. He hadn't felt peace in a long time. Then a bomb exploded, his ears ringing with that deafening sound people should never experience.

"Finn!" he heard yelling at a distance. Again, he was at war. His brothers were down, he was down. The situation was out of hand and they needed reinforcement soon.

"Finn! It's me! Rachel!" his eyelids opened to see an angel hovering above her.

"What?"

"Your phone, which you did not mention you had, is ringing." She said exasperated.

Finn's insides froze. His phone was a cellphone, charged everyday with a spare car battery. Only his mom had his number, which meant she was calling. Something bad, terrible maybe, had happened to someone in his family. No, that couldn't be it. His family needed to be fine. He simply couldn't handle any losses. Not anymore.

"Finn, for the love of Barbara, snap out of it!" Rachel almost yelled at him.

He woke up from his dread-induced trance and rushed to the phone "Hello? Mom?"

On the end of the line, he could hear muffled sobs. Sobs he recognized but clearly not his mom's. "Finn? Is that you? Thank heavens!"

"Kurt? What happened? My mom… is she…"

"Finn, there's been an accident. Our parents" sob "A drunk driver" sob. He didn't have time to think. He let his training take over him, rendering him in auto-pilot.

"Where are you Kurt?"

"Lima Central Hospital, hurry."

"I'll be there as soon as I can Kurt. Is Blaine with you?"

"Yes… he, he's the one that found your number hidden away in Carole's wallet. I can barely move Finn. My…my dad… I just…"

"Don't think like that, hang in there dude I'll be there."

He slammed the phone down with force, almost hyperventilating. Kurt never said what happened. Where they dead? No, they couldn't be. Otherwise he wouldn't be at the hospital, right? How was he supposed to help? They needed him but he doubted he was useful to anyone in that moment. Before he knew it, a gentle hand was on his shoulder and a glass of water on his hand. He looked up to see the broken girl showing nothing but concern.

"Finn?" she spoke softly. He could tell she was afraid of saying the wrong thing "Are you ok?"

He shook his head.

"Is it your family?"

He nodded.

"Do you… do you need to go?"

He nodded again.

"Can you?"

That was the million-dollar question, wasn't it? Could he move in this state? Even if he could, was he able to handle a hospital?  
"I… I don't know Rachel. Honestly."

She nodded, comprehending some of his pain. "Come on, I'll take you. I can drive you."  
He was about to refuse. She beat him to it.

"After everything you're doing for me? Please, let me take you. I don't know what happened but it's obvious you're in shock. I can't let you leave like that, I don't want anything happening to you in that state"

Her voice was so caring, so comforting. Finn felt for a second everything might be alright before remembering the situation at hand. He just took her hand as support for standing up. She understood it meant he accepted her help. These past few weeks she had become adept at interpreting his movements seeing how he didn't speak much at all.

She completely took control. He was thankful; he couldn't even stand on his own. "Ok, my dress from the other night is done, I had to alter it but it's wearable. I'll grab a jacket for you, ok?" he nodded again "Now, Finn. Where are your keys? Or… your car for that matter?"

"Bedside, top drawer."

She nodded and left in a hurry. She grabbed a twig from the spare wood to put her hair up, put on the dress and ran to Finn's room. She opened his drawer, not even glancing around, and ran back down. Finn was just in the same position, slowly sipping his glass of water.

"Finn! Here's your jacket, and I have your keys. Where's the car?"

Mutely, he grabbed her hand and led her out of the cabin. They walked for about twenty minutes through the woods until they got to a clearing. There, she saw a blue Ford truck. It looked old but well taken care of. Rachel hoped she was big enough to drive it.

After she got on the driver's seat and he sat next to her, she turned on the car.

"Where to?"

"Drive straight. You'll find the highway. Then, to Lima."

"Ohio?"

"Yeah, why?" he said defensively.

"I'm from Columbus… so that's good. I should know the way or some of it at least. You just sit back and try to clear your head, ok? Your family needs you."

He nodded again.

True to her word, Rachel knew the way. They were about three hours away from Lima in which she simply drove while Finn stared at the road ahead. They had to stop once for gas, which he took care of mutely and then went on their way. At about two a.m they passed the sign "Welcome to Lima, Ohio". Much to her chagrin, Rachel had to wake up a now asleep Finn. Obviously, the stress of the day had worn him down.

"Finn?" she said, no response. "Finn!"

"Huh? What?" he answered groggily.

"We're in Lima and I have no idea how to get to the hospital, sorry." She said sheepishly

"Oh, just keep going. You'll see it." He answered curtly.

She nodded and continued ahead, seeing small farms turn into quaint suburban houses. Then, small buildings and shops. Lima was completely uneventful and the landmarks unremarkable, yet Rachel thought it was beautiful in its simplicity. After mere minutes she recognized what must be the hospital, just to make sure she glanced at Finn who again, only nodded. She parked carefully right next to the entrance.

She took his hand. "Go, Finn. Check on your family."

He was frozen on the spot.

"Finn? Do you… I don't want to be presumptuous, but do you want me to come along? Otherwise I'm perfectly fine staying here, really I - "

He nodded. It was all she needed. "Ok, do you… um… have a jacket or a hat?"

He just looked at her bewildered.

"I'm famous, you know? Not super famous but… I might be recognized and… Jesse…"

He jumped out of the car, reached into the back and found his duffel bag. He retrieved a few objects and jumped back in. In his hands there was an old army jacket and a baseball cap. She accepted them gratefully.

"Ok, Finn… ready?"

Another nod.

She turned off the ignition and got out of the car. Finn wasn't moving, so she opened his side of the truck. "Come out, your mom needs you."  
At that, it was as if she had electrified him into action. She could not comprehend how a lumbering giant could move so fast but soon she was trying to keep up with him as she awkwardly put on the items he handed her. By the time they were at the nurse's station she was out of breath.

"Excuse me… is Carole Hudson-Hummel here?" he said panicking.

Before the nurse could reply a pale man with red-rimmed eyes approached them.

"Finn! Thank god!" The man embraced the taller one fiercely, yet Finn did not return it, he just stood stiff.

"Kurt… what happened?"

"They, they went to the movies for date night. A drunk driver hit them. They're still alive, thankfully the idiot wasn't going too fast."

"My mom?"

"She's… she was in surgery. She… she had some internal injuries but the doctors assured me it wasn't anything too serious. Right now she's in the ICU."

"And Burt?"

"He's ok, the car made an impact on Carole's side. My dad only has some bruised ribs and a broken arm."

He let a sigh of relief leave his body. During the conversation, Finn had taken Rachel's hand for support. She felt her hand being squeezed by his inhuman force but said nothing, she was glad she could help him somehow. Only after a few seconds of silence did the pale-faced man notice her. He even seemed shocked when he realized there was someone else there and eyed her suspiciously.

"Hello, I don't believe we've been introduced." He approached her. "I'm Kurt Hummel, and you are?"

Before she could even open her mouth, Kurt's eyes widened in recognition. "Oh my gaga! You're -"

"Yes, I am, please keep it quiet?" she responded in a really low voice.

Finn had been looking at the interaction when realization dawned on him. He felt seriously crappy he hadn't foreseen that Rachel could be recognized. It wouldn't have been a problem if he hadn't been so stupid. He should be able to take care of himself; he was supposed to take care of her. Not the other way round. He truly hoped no one else besides his family recognized the tiny brunette.

"I'm sorry Rachel, I should've known. My brother is a big Broadway fan." He mumbled apologetically.

Rachel squeezed his hand. "It's ok Finn, really."

"Wait. How do you know each other? And what happened to you? The news said you've been missing. And what about -

"Kurt, that's enough" Finn growled dangerously. "She's with me, I'll explain later." He barely knew where this instinct to shield Rachel came from on top of everything that was going on. Maybe he was just too exhausted to deal with a Kurt Hummel interrogation. Maybe helping her had brought back his protective instinct. Whatever it was, he knew his promise to help Rachel extended beyond just giving her a room. Last night had opened his eyes. He now knew she was more fragile than she let on. He had dragged her out here, so it was up to him to make sure she felt comfortable. He regretted being such a loser that he couldn't get here on his own, possibly putting Rachel in danger from being spotted but the damage was done so the best he could to now was make sure she feels safe. She gave him her thanks with her deep, sorrowful eyes, letting him know he had done the right thing. At least one of his actions tonight hadn't sucked.

* * *

**AN2: Stay tuned to find out what happens to Carole, how Finn deals with the hospital and other hijinks galore.**


	4. Drawing Stars

**_AN: New Chapter! Again, thank you all for your support, I'm truly humbled._**

**_Disclaimer: I don't own glee or anything.  
_**

* * *

For hours they sat in a catatonic state. Soon after they met, Blaine came along and introduced himself to Rachel. Finn sat, praying to a God he didn't know existed, for his mom to be safe. His mom had been his whole life before the Hummels entered their lives. It had been them against the world and he refused to believe the universe would be so cruel to kill off his mother. She was the sweetest woman alive. Rachel's hand in his, he kept praying and praying. The broken girl rubbed circles on his back, whispered reassuring words. After a while of just sitting, she stood up and disappeared. He figured she had gone to the toilet or something. She came back with sandwiches and coffee from the cafeteria for the four of them. They all took it wordlessly. As their patience was running its course, a nurse came over.

"Anyone here for Carole Hudson-Hummel?"

The three of them stood up.

"She's out of Intensive Care now, you can go see her. Are you all family?"

Kurt responded for all of them. "Yes, I'm her stepson, this is my husband and the tall man here is Carole's son."

"Room 245."

Finn stood up, holding Rachel's hand.

"Sir? Is she family too?"

He just glared at the woman with pure defiance. "She's coming with me" is the only thing he said before speed walking towards his mother's room. His determination lasted until they were outside of the door; he suddenly became paralyzed in front of it.

"Finn?" Rachel tugged his hand. "What's wrong?" Blaine and Kurt only stared at them sadly.

"I… I can't."

"Don't be ridiculous, of course you can. I believe in you, you know?"

Just last night, she was whimpering in a corner scared for her life. Now? This brave little girl was forgetting all of her pain to be there for him, yet he was immobile? Her bravery left him feeling even more stupid. He shook off his thoughts and slowly opened the door. Inside, he saw his mother like he never wanted to see her. Carole's right leg and arm were in huge, white casts. Tubes inserted in her other arm; a sickening _beep beep_ indicated her heart rate. By her side, also in a cast, sat Burt Hummel with tears pouring out his otherwise stoic façade.

"I'll be right back" Rachel whispered. "Go, talk to her. Hold her hand, she needs you Finn."

Finn watched her make her way between Kurt and Blaine and then turned slowly towards his mother.

"Mom?" he said brokenly. No response. He gave an acknowledging nod to Burt and sat softly on the bed, holding her hand. "Mom, it's me, Finn. Can you hear me?"

He grabbed the hand of the woman that birthed him against his chest. "Mom, please. Wake up. Wake up for me."

Slowly, a ghost of a smile appeared on Carole's face. "Honey? Is it really you?" she opened her eyes.

"Mom?" Finn felt like his world started spinning again. "How are you feeling?"

"Thirsty."

Burt got up and handed her a glass of water.

She looked at her son with regret in her eyes. "Honey, I'm sorry they worried you. Are you ok? You didn't have to come here just for me. I have Burt, and Kurt and even Blaine to take care of me, I don't want to cause you pain…"

"Nonsense Mom" Finn responded cutting her off. He couldn't help feel shitty at the fact that he was such a hermit his own mom didn't see the need of him being there for her. He continued caressing her hand as Kurt and Blaine approached to talk to Carole too. Not too much time passed before he heard a soft, shy knock on the door. He glanced up to see Rachel's face peeking into the room. Quickly, he got up to receive her, realizing she must feel uncomfortable in a room full of strangers.

"Rachel"

"Finn, I hope I'm not intruding?"

"Come in please."

Carole turned her head to the door "Finn, who's this?"

"This is Rachel mom, she's ah… she's my roommate."

"Since when?" Carole said confused.

"Long story, she just is." He didn't want to cut his mom off but it wasn't his place to explain why Rachel lived with him. It wasn't his story to tell. With his eyes, he begged his mom to just let it go.

"Well, hi sweetie. I'm Carole Hudson-Hummel, pleased to meet you."

Rachel smiled sadly "So am I Mrs. Hummel. I am very sorry to meet you in these circumstances. How are you feeling?"

"Like I got into a fight with the Hulk." She chuckled "Otherwise, just fine. Is that for me?" she asked, looking at the single white lily Rachel held in her hand.

"Oh, yes. I hope you don't mind. I saw them outside the hospital and took one… to liven the room up, you know? If you don't like it I'll just -"

"It's beautiful Rachel, thanks." Carole smiled warmly.

"Also, um… I got a nurse to give me a sharpie. I know you're not a child, but I figured you'd like a sign of your loved ones on your casts? I broke my ankle once when… during a rehearsal and wished someone would sign it, but I didn't dare ask. I figured… it might brighten your condition?"

Amused, Carole answered "That's a lovely idea."

"May I? Draw something, I mean?" Rachel asked timidly, "If you just want your family to sign, I understand."

"Oh no, please go ahead."

Rachel walked over to the hospital bed, uncapping the pen. "I'm going to draw on your arm now, Mrs. Hummel"  
Rachel drew a tiny star on the cast. Underneath, she put the caption '_Even in the roughest times, there's a star shining just for you."_

"Come here" Carole beckoned. Rachel timidly went towards the broken woman on the bed. Before she knew it, she was enveloped in a half-hug. "Finn, I don't know where you got this young lady or how she even agreed to live with your messy person but she's truly a delight."

Unshed tears shone in Rachel's eyes. "No Mrs. Hummel, its Finn who's the delight. He's truly the best."

She blushed but looked at Finn. For the first time ever she saw his eyes soft, vulnerable as the corner of his mouth lifted into the first genuine smile she saw on his face. How could he not smile? This girl… what she just did? He didn't have words for it. Not only had she taken care of him during the ordeal, but now she was being so nice to his mom when she didn't really have to. Soon, all the family and Blaine had written encouraging words and even silly drawings on it. Even Finn drew something, even if it was just a smiley with the words "I love you mom." He then withdrew and sat on the small couch of the room.

Rachel moved towards him, with a soft smile on her face. They sat there, while Kurt fussed over Carole and insisted he should decorate the room despite the fact it went against hospital rules. Rachel and Finn held hands silently, supporting each other without words until Carole spoke.

"I appreciate everyone being here, I do. Especially you Finn, I wasn't expecting to see you until the holidays. But, I'm so, so tired. I need to sleep. Why don't you all stay at the house? Burt will be here with me and I'll sleep better knowing someone is there, taking care of it."

Everyone stood up and said their goodbyes. Carole hugged Rachel again, noticing the girl hugging back in pure delight. This time, Finn took the driver's position. Rachel merely gazed outside of the window, watching the road. Soon, they parked in a huge house with a beautiful front garden. Following them were Blaine and Kurt in a Navigator.

Once inside, the three men sat on the couch, thinking of the events they just went through. Rachel took over and boiled some water, pouring all of them some tea she found on a cupboard.

"I hope you don't mind, I made some tea. It should relax you and you need to sleep. Carole will need you energized, not weaker than her."

They nodded, grabbing their cups to drink the tea. Only Finn lingered after Kurt and Blaine left to Kurt's old room to sleep. He stared aimlessly at the window. Rachel sat down next to him, putting her hand on his back, rubbing circles across his tense muscles.

"Finn? Please, go to bed. I'll take the couch."

He kept staring.

"Come on, your mom needs you to sleep. She's ok, you just saw her."

"I don't know what I'd do without her Rach." She was shocked at his sudden use of a nickname. "If… if it had been worse, and Blaine hadn't found my number… she could be… and I…"

"That didn't happen Finn and I'm sure Burt knew where your number was. She's ok, you're ok. But, if you don't sleep, your mom will only be concerned. You can't do that to her."

"I can't Rachel… so many scenarios are going on in my head…"

She stood up with nothing but determination. He looked up, curious. She knelt in front of him and started singing. Her eerie voice reverberated across the room and inside his very soul as she gave a beautiful rendition of Charlie Chaplin's 'Smile'. By the time she was done, tears ran freely down her face. Finn's heart started beating, no, thumping against his chest. All the emotions that swirled inside him ever since Kurt's phone call broke the dam he had erected and the man broke down in front of the broken girl. Together they embraced and cried, cried for Carole but in general, cried for each other. They cried until sheer exhaustion made them sleep, still embracing each other. Unknown to them, Kurt had seen the whole moment from the stairs.


	5. Banana and bye

_**AN: Here's a new chapter! Hope you enjoy and thank you again, so so much, for your support. I am super happy you're liking this story.**_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing.  
**_

* * *

A few hours later, Finn woke up in a daze. His joints felt stiff. He couldn't even feel his arm. Soon, he saw he had fallen asleep with Rachel on the couch, her head the reason no circulation flowed to his shoulders. Delicately, he shook her off and went for a shower. He didn't know that as soon as he stood, she woke up. He didn't even see his brother softly go down the stairs as he closed the door of the bathroom. He needed a long, hot shower to decompress from the last couple of days. He had to find a way to get himself together, if only for a while, only for his mom.

Kurt had heard Finn's footsteps. The pale man was shocked at what he had seen last night. He simply needed to talk to Rachel, soon.

"Rachel?" he said walking into the living room.

"Yeah?" the girl answered a bit sluggishly.

"Can we talk?" He sat next to confused, semi-asleep girl.

"Uhm, okay." She sat up "Sure Kurt." She said nervously

"Look, I'm a huge Broadway fan. As in, I'm pretty sure my husband is even jealous of my obsession."

She chuckled at that.

"Allow me to say I'm a big, big fan. I know this is the worst circumstance ever to say this, but I've seen every play you've been in and you blew me away each time."

"Thank you, Kurt. It means a lot people appreciate my work."

Curiosity got the best of him; he couldn't control his next question. "What happened to you Rachel? The news claim you simply vanished… and now you're here, in my parent's house, with none other than my stepbrother. How did that even happen?"

She visibly paled. The girl, Kurt noticed, looked deadly afraid. "I… it's a long story. All you need to know for now is that I need an escape and Finn… he gave me that. I'm sorry I can't give you answers… I simply can't."

He felt sorry he asked, so he tried to get the conversation light again. "I tend to pry a lot in what doesn't concern me, but I'll let it go, ok?" he said to her. She nodded.

"However, I have to say… I've seen you belt out songs wonderfully. Yet… I had never heard you sing anything more beautiful than what you sang for Finn last night."

"You… you heard that?"

"You bet your pretty bottom I did. You may not see it, but it helped him immensely. Also, I had never seen Finn break down like that. Not even after… not even after a lot of stuff he went through. You need to understand, he puts a brave front but I worry about him. Everyone does. He hasn't really been human for a few years now. So thank you Rachel. You're good to him and he needs that. Now more than ever."

"I'd do anything for Finn, no need to thank me. He's been there for me when he didn't have to. For that, I cannot be any more grateful. To hear you say I helped, somehow, is amazing." She beamed, only to frown. "But, I will ask you tell no one you ever met me, or saw me for that matter. It's tempting to say "Oh I met Rachel Berry" but please, please Kurt, don't. I like… no, _need_ anonymity for now."

"With one condition Miss Berry"

Aghast, Rachel just looked at him.

With a smirk, he continued. "Please let me buy you some clothes. I don't know why on earth you chose to wear Finn's old jacket, or that dreadful hat… or even that second-hand dress but a Broadway diva like you can't possibly dress like that."

She giggled a bit. Yes, she did see now she must look only slightly better than a homeless person. Jesse would have never allowed her to look like that in public. "Kurt, I can't accept that. I… I don't have money right now to give you." She said, full of shame.

"Luckily, I own my own clothing line. Plus, money is not an issue. After everything, give me this. It will ease my mind to know you're properly dressed." Kurt begged.

"Kurt… really, it's not necessary."

"But it is! I know Finn's standards for clothing, which is why I'm not surprised you look like that. But honey, a girl needs pretty clothes."

After hesitating for a couple of minutes, Rachel finally said "Okay… but keep it casual… I don't want to stand out."

"That is a promise."

Kurt kept his promise and soon brought her copious amounts of clothes. She now had lots of skinny jeans, flowy tops, cute cardigans and sneakers. Even a couple of nice, warm coats and berets. It was a casual look, exactly like she wanted. She was known for having her own trademark fashion sense. Somehow, Kurt knew exactly what to get her that was unusual for her yet still accentuated her assets. Rachel was truly thankful for the gift. She was determined that whenever she managed to get her life back in order, she'd repay Kurt Hummel's generous actions. He even made her take a bubble bath, put make up on and curl her hair. It took two hours, but Carole hadn't called. It was the best way to distract themselves while Finn and Blaine silently watched reruns of football games. Eventually, she had to go down to make lunch.

Finn had been not really paying attention to the TV. He was anxious for his mom to call but understood she was probably going to sleep a long time under the amount of painkillers she was in. He was grateful for Burt, loyally at her side. In his solitude he always took comfort from the fact that Burt was there for his mom when he couldn't be. He had no idea where Kurt had taken Rachel to; he just knew they had been upstairs for hours now. He sighed, exhausted. He loved his family, he did. But it was so overwhelming. Even Blaine's quiet presence set him on edge. He felt extremely self-conscious around the shorter man and couldn't shake off the feeling he was doing something wrong. His ears perked up as he heard footsteps coming down the stairs. He turned.

Finn saw Rachel like he had never seen her before. She was wearing skinny jeans that made her legs look incredibly long. She had a deep purple top, with a white cardigan softly resting on her chest. Her already long lashes were curled up and her plump limps shone. Her soft hair bounced in neat curls. She looked like she stepped out of an old Hollywood movie. His jaw dropped in disbelief. He shook his head. He didn't want to obj…personify? No, objectify her. She was too good for that. Instead, he just settled with saying "Rachel, you look awesome." She beamed, and that was that.

Rachel made her way to the kitchen. Finn figured she was just going to make lunch but as the hours ticked by, the most appealing smells wafted from the kitchen. His stomach grumbled in appreciation, even if he had already had like three plates of cereal for breakfast. When he made his way over, he saw she had baked for an entire platoon. She baked banana bread, 'Get Well Soon' cookies, she even made vegan lasagna and a simple chocolate cake.

"You didn't have to do all that, you know?" said Finn as she settled the cake on the table.

She jumped, surprised at the sudden interruption. "Oh, I'm sorry Finn! Oh god, what was I thinking? I didn't even ask if it was ok for me to do it. I just bake when I'm stressed, it was incredibly selfish of me."

"Rach, chill. I meant, you're doing enough as it is."

"Really?" She looked at him under her lashes, biting her lip. "I feel so frustrated I can't help more."

Finn took long strides towards her and enveloped her in his strong arms. "You're doing so much already Rach, thanks." He wondered whether her hair had always smelt that amazing.

She just smiled at him. "Want to try my banana bread? My dads used to say that if I wasn't so talented, I could always open a bakery."

"Sure, you already make such great dinners I doubt you can top them, but hey, I'll try anyway." He played along.

He let her cut a piece for him. Slowly, he took a small bite. Then another bigger one. In three bites it was all gone.

"Ho'y Crap, 'ach"

"Finn! Chew, then talk!"

"Holy Crap, Rach, this is the best thing I've ever tasted. Don't tell my mom though, she thinks that's her casserole."

"So I guess that beats my dinners then?"

"You're tempting me to buy an oven only so I can have this like, everyday."

She giggled, he chuckled. Little did she know it was the first true laugh Finn Hudson had shared with another human being in over four years. A few hours later, Burt finally called. He said Carole was too exhausted, but to come by the next morning. The rest of the day, Rachel kept baking. She was determined to feed everyone and make sure that when Carole came back, the house was stocked with food so the couple didn't have to worry about that.

* * *

Their days were spent either at the hospital or at the Hudmel residence. She would spend hours baking all sort of delicacies, softly singing to herself while Finn sat on a stool. He was her official taster and he couldn't be happier with his new job. Kurt and Blaine often joined them. Mostly, the couple did all the talking. They talked about their cat, their lives. Kurt had a fashion line in many cities of the country and Blaine was a lawyer, they moved around a lot. Finn would often stand up abruptly mid-conversation. They knew it meant he needed space. His jaw seemed permanently locked. Every car that passed by, each phone ring, even people walking on the streets had a visible effect on him. He would grind his teeth and take deep breaths, trying to block the sound out.

His family and Rachel never mentioned any of his strange behavior. Occasionally, Rachel would follow him to the back garden and just sit with him. She would hold his hand and sing whatever song came to mind. It relaxed him. Sometimes, Kurt and Rachel even preformed duets together whenever the mood came over them. However, such moments were rare. Rather, the broken boy and the broken girl spent their time silently. The only time she became a chatterbox was with Carole, who was delighted when talking to her. Finn was happy his mom liked Rachel, as he didn't know how long it would take her to heal. He still saw fear in her eyes whenever a door slammed or something fell. He wasn't the only one having a hard time dealing with the outside world. He felt sorry, so sorry for this girl.

About two weeks after arriving in Lima, Carole was released. With many assurances that Burt could take care of her, the younger ones parted to their respective homes. Kurt and Rachel even shed a tear or two when saying goodbye. She promised that though she couldn't exactly keep in touch, she'll try anyway. The young man made her promise that at least, in the meantime, she better wear her new clothes.

When it came to saying goodbye to his mom, Finn was at a loss. He saw in her eyes the hope that maybe, he had come back for good. The reality of the situation could not be denied. He still needed to go back to the cabin, back to his life. He'd be leaving, with Rachel, and it kinda broke his heart.

He hugged his mother as tightly as he dared "Mom…"

"Shhh, don't say anything" the woman hugged him back. "I know sweetie, I know."

"I'm sorry, I wish…"

"No Finn, don't. I get it, you need your space. Don't forget about your old mama in the process ok?"

"Mom… I could never…"

"I was kidding son, I'll be ok. Don't worry too much about me."

"Thank you mom." He hid on the crook of her neck "Thank you so much. Please, be careful ok?"

"You too Finn. I'll see you for the holidays, right?"

"Yeah"

"And son? Take care of Rachel, she's so wonderful."

"I know mom." He kissed her cheek, then her forehead and stepped aside, not wanting to let his already frayed emotions out of his control. How could he drive back if he was a sobbing mess?

Rachel stepped forth, still shy in front of his mother despite the reassurances that his family loved her.

"Come here, you lovely girl" Carole opened her arms.

Tearfully, Rachel embraced Carole. "I hope you make a full recovery Mrs. Hummel."

"It's Carole" she said strongly "And thank you. Thanks to you my fridge is full of delights. I was slightly afraid Burt would do all the cooking." Both women chuckled "but seriously Rachel, thank you so much. You might not see it, but you're helping Finn in ways I never thought he could be helped." She whispered.

Rachel looked at the older woman, fully curious.

"One day you'll understand sweetie. For now, I hope I see you again."

"Me too Carole, me too."

Finn drove all the way back to the cabin. In reality, though he was sad to leave his mom, living in a house full of people was already overwhelming him. Even worse, his old home was filled with memories he didn't care to revisit. Left to his own devices, he wouldn't have been much of an addition to the situation. He realized that Rachel kept him busy, either by making him try her baking or generally instructing him how to clean the house. Even in their quiet moments, or when she sang to him, she kept him away from his own terrors. Also, Rachel was a reminder of his reality outside Lima. Her presence reminded him that he had somewhere safe to go not too far away. It was odd, he mused; he had started associating Rachel to his home. Not that it was a bad thing; he just wondered when she became part of the cabin rather than just a guest. He didn't want to think about it anymore, so he turned on the radio. Just like he hoped, she started singing, her angelic voice washing away all the problems rummaging around inside his mind.

Ever since the accident, things had somehow shifted. No longer did the days passed without little acknowledgement. He was uncomfortable in an urban setting or even around his family. It was somewhat different with her. Every time she talked, she expected answers. Not only that, but she seemed to truly care and treasure his responses. Finn had never known someone like that. During dinner, they now talked about nothing at all. Seriously, one time they had an intense three-hour long discussion on the merits of rain or drizzle. He lost that debate, but he still thought drizzle was better even if she was convinced a full-on downpour had a certain dramatic quality no other weather could compare to. Finn still saw her cry to herself when she thought she was alone, or jump at harsh sounds. He knew she still had a long way to go which meant her status as roommate was not going to finish any time soon. He didn't mind. He had come to accept Rachel as part of his life, though how she fit in it exactly he didn't care to think about.

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_**Yay Carole's ok (you really thought I could actually harm the woman? She's too awesome.)  
Tease for next chapter: Finchel fluff and a some drama-rama.**_


	6. Snowballs

_**AN: Thank you x a million for the positive comments and support. I really love this chapter, it's really cute. I hope you enjoy.  
**_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing  
**_

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After the incident, another month passed in their relative quietness. They talked, they laughed, and they coexisted. A simple and beautiful life. One day, Finn was asleep on his bed, limbs all over the place while a tiny drop of spit drooled towards his chin. Suddenly, he felt a hand shake him. Instinct took over and he stood up in a flash, startling the girl before him.

"At ease, soldier!" she said with slight amusement.

"Rachel? Why did you wake me up?" He was slightly pissed off, she could tell. Her big eyes shone with pure innocence.

"It's the first snow day of the year" she replied in a barely audible tone.

Finn was flabbergasted. In front of him, stood this broken yet happy girl. After everything she had gone through, she still had a passion for something as simple as snow. Like the child in her managed to survive years of abuse and pain. He wished his inner-child had survived. At least, he had Rachel to show him that even the most broken of them all could appreciate life.

"It is, huh?" He peered over his window, seeing the forest covered in pure white.

"It's quite the winter wonderland outside" she said with glee "isn't it gorgeous?"

"Gorgeous?" He ran his hand through his hair. "Yeah, until I have to shovel the pathway… or like, chop more wood. Thank god you decided to harvest most of the stuff a while ago."

"Finn, stop" she commanded. He had never heard her have such authority. "Yes, the snow implies hard work. But any season does." She grabbed his hand and led him outside wordlessly. She opened the door. "But look Finn. Look well. What do you see?"

"Snow?"

She looked at him sternly

"Seriously Rach, I see snow. Everywhere. On the path, on the leaves… oh crap even on the shed that keeps our wood."

"Yes Finn. Snow. Everything is covered by a white mantle. Unlike living in the city, it is not tainted by smoke, cars, or pedestrians. Can't you see how wonderful that is?" she asked hopefully

Finn just scrunched his nose in confusion.

"Finn, the snow… it's pure. No one has touched it, harmed it. It's like… completely innocent. Don't you think that's beautiful? That the first snow of the season is nature's way of reminding us things can still be pure, pristine…" She led her voice fade, but he got the hidden message. She was talking about herself, about how she didn't see herself as untouched but as tainted, like city snow. He didn't like that. How could he see herself as muddy snow? She was pure, she was beautiful and she couldn't see it. His stomach tied up in knots, feeling nothing but anger towards the jackass that had done this to her. He needed to make her see, somehow, that she was better than muddy snow.

"Yeah, I guess. But I think you're wrong in one respect."

It was her turn to scrunch up her nose in confusion.

"Like, sure, the city might taint the snow and stuff. And yeah, it's nice when untouched. But… what's the value of things if we don't use them? With snow, for example; as beautiful as it is pure, it's even better when you create stuff with it. Like snowballs… or snowmen!"

He saw tears shining in her eyes and he really hoped he had said the right thing. Sometimes, he just kinda said things without even registering what he said.

"You mean it's not about what something is, but what it can be?" she answered eventually, doubtfully.

He scratched the back of his neck "Yeah… I guess?"

Her eyes lit up. "You're right!" she jumped up and down. Seriously, she changed way too fast for him to ever keep up. "Can we?"

"Can we what, Rachel?"

"Do it. Make snowmen, snowballs, even snow angels and I don't know… create?"

"I don't know… I really should shovel the snow." He saw her face losing its shimmer. "But… yeah, why not?"

She jumped up and down again. "Perfect! Let's put on some weather appropriate clothes and go! I'll make breakfast first, of course. Be ready in twenty minutes!"

With that, she disappeared. Finn was concerned; he hadn't had 'fun' ever since… well, since forever really. Even in their conversations, they were in a controlled setting. Him sitting on a chair, she on the opposite one. Snow fun meant randomness, it meant letting go. He wanted to cheer up Rachel, but didn't know if he still had it in him to be carefree. Worth a try, he concluded, and went to his room to get ready.

After breakfast, Rachel couldn't get him out of the door fast enough.

"So, what should we do first?" she clapped her hands. He thought her enthusiasm was endearing.

"Uhm, it's up to you Rachel."

"How about a snowball fight first? I bet I can kick your ass, Hudson."

This tiny girl really thought she could defeat an ex-quarterback that had been in the army? Finn felt his competitive side rising after many years. "You're on Berry."

They scampered off to different sides of the area to build their 'forts' which basically consisted of a snow wall. Behind the wall they could protect their snowballs. It took about half an hour, but they were both done. Finn was finishing up his last ball when he felt a soft thud next to him. Looking up, he saw Rachel with a devilish smirk, throwing another ball in his general direction before running off.

"You throw like a girl!" he screamed after her. He gathered a bunch of balls in his hands and hid behind a tree. He waited a while until he saw her. Seriously, she's the easiest target ever. She was even wearing a red coat.

_Thud. _He thought the ball would hit her for sure. He didn't expect her reflexes to be so honed for her to just gracefully step aside.

"Nice try Finn, but I'm a dancer you know?" She ran off again, out of his sight.

He figured he needed a strategy, so he eased himself up on a tree branch and waited patiently for her to appear again. Predictably, at the lack of attack, he saw her cautiously roam around the area he was in.

_Thud, thud, thud. _She just kept dodging the ball like she was a kung-fu master. Damn. _Thud. _Dodge. _Thud._ Dodge. He ran out of balls and needed to get back to his fort. Thankfully, Rachel retreated back to her own.

Using his military tactics, he made his way taking as much cover as he could. When he reached his fort, there was no Rachel around. He quickly gathered more of his snowballs and as he stood up, only glancing away for a minute, he felt an icy softness hit his chest. Hard.

"What the - "

"Ha! I knew I'd get you!"

"Oh, now you're gonna get it!"

He ran after her, throwing snowballs at her back. Despite his legs being double the size of hers, she had the speed of an elegant gazelle. Every ball was dodged again, yet every single one she threw back at him landed on his body. Finally, he saw she was out of ammo. _Time for payback._ He aimed his last snowball, recalling his football days. He was just a quarterback trying to get the ball to one of his teammates. He had this in the bag. With one calculated throw, he hit her square on the back. Finn expected her to keep running, but she tumbled on the ground… and started crying.

He felt like crap, of course, he shouldn't hit her, someone already did that and he only reminded her of it. He immediately went over her and sat next to her crumpled figure.

"Shit, Rach. I'm so, so sorry. I swear" he was interrupted by one big snowball right on his face. He couldn't even finish his sentence, the ice even got inside his mouth. When he cleared his eyes, he saw Rachel's triumphant smile.

"You know… I can cry at will."

Stupefied, he stared at her.

"Finn? Are you mad? I didn't mean to deceive you."

He laid on his back and burst out laughing. The laughs were so strong he contracted, grabbing his stomach. His face was red with effort, his throat hoarse from laughing and his eyes streamed with tears. Rachel thought it to be the most glorious sound ever and soon was intoxicated by it.

"I… I… Wow Rach." He managed to control his breathing. "That was epic strategizing."

The smile she gave him back could literally melt all the snow.

The rest of the day was spent doing snow angels, though she claimed his looked more like a sasquatch-angel. He returned the criticism by pointing out how hers looked like a fairy had just dropped from flight. They only went inside to refuel and kept going back outside. They even made snow castles. Just like sand ones, but with sturdier material. By nightfall, his front lawn was a mess of scattered snowballs, angels, snowmen and castles. In four years, his cabin had never looked so alive. Somehow, he didn't mind.

As soon as they were done, it started snowing again.

"Come on Finn, we've been out too long already. If either of us gets sick, the other will probably get it too. Plus, I have a surprise for you."

Curious, he followed her inside. He shed his snow-covered clothes and watched her boil some water.

"What is it?"

"Close you eyes mister! And no peeking, okay?"

"Sure."

Then, somehow, right in front of him was a cup of delicious hot chocolate.

"How did you manage this?"

"Remember last week when you asked me to go to the store at the gas station because you had to deal with getting more wood? I managed to get some for today. Snow day means hot coco, you know?"

"I haven't had any since… middle school or something. Mom stopped making it after Burt's heart attack, something about unhealthy calories."

"While I don't condone unhealthy beverages, this once won't kill you. Enjoy."

Finn drank it slowly, leaving it for a while just to rekindle the flames. They both made their way to the fireplace.

"Rach, I know you don't talk about it. But, how do you manage? Like, I know you're still healing and all, but you don't show it. It's like, you can put on this brave face and tell the world to go fuck itself."

"Finn, language!"

"Sorry, you tell the world to go where the sun don't shine?"

She giggled. "Practice makes perfect, I guess. Back in high school I was the freak, so everyday was a struggle against bullies. I made it though, by learning how to ignore it and put on a brave face."

"I know what you mean, Kurt had to do that too for a while, he was the only gay kid at school and well, it wasn't exactly approved of." He wondered why people like Kurt and Rachel, who were so damn special, were mocked. He had a fairytale high school experience, and he was nothing special.

"People like that are just Neanderthals. I'm glad he remained true to himself, he's quite wonderful. You were blessed with that stepbrother, I hope you know."

"Yeah, but it did like… affect him, you know?"

"Yes." She sighed. "I know, and believe me, it does to me too. Everything, it hurts. And I, I don't know how to reconcile my will to keep going with the fear inside. I guess I'm taking it one day at the time. I'm still terrified Jesse will show up and harm me… but I can't let it destroy me. I'm not sure how to combine both just yet."

"But that's just it, Rach. You keep going, and, sometimes I wish I knew how to do that."

"Finn… it's hard, I know. But, you need to believe in yourself. Sometimes, that's all it takes. I try, really hard, to tell myself I deserve to live, that I can do it. It's all a matter of believing myself…"

"You're doing a great job. And you are, by the way. Worthy, I mean. " He stood up to go to bed, exhausted from running around. "Have a good night Rachel, see you in the morning."

Once in his room, he went over his day. It had been spectacular, managing to get lost in absolute silliness. He missed that, yet at the same time, dread invaded him. Having fun was not something he expected ever to do again. It even felt wrong. Like he was betraying something or someone. He knew fun only meant bad things. He knew fun was the calm before the storm. Finn didn't want another hurricane to twist his world upside down. He wouldn't be able to handle it, so better not have fun again. Even if that meant losing his tentative friendship with the broken girl.


	7. Mirror, mirror

_**AN: I seriously love all your comments, they make my day. Thank you so much for your positive feedback and reading what I have to write. This chapter is both cute and angsty, hope you enjoy :)  
**_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing.  
**_

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The next day Finn was back to mostly communicating through one-word answers and nods of his head. He knew Rachel would be confused. But, honestly? He felt himself accepting her as part of his life and that terrified him. Besides his family, he had cut ties with every single one of his friends. He couldn't afford to lose more people. He had felt it before, true, but he avoided thinking what Rachel meant to him. Now it was all he could think about and it confused the hell out of him. Sure, he wanted to help her, but knew that he couldn't destroy himself in the process. If he cared and she left, it would hurt. He couldn't care, just couldn't. However, Finn Hudson had never been too introspective. Had he taken a good look inside, he would have seen that it was too late and he already cared about the broken girl with the dashing smile. So, he spent all his day shoveling snow, making sure the cabin and shed were properly ready for the harsh winter. He even avoided being inside by not eating, something very unusual for him. Worn out, he stumbled into the cabin, feeling happy that his avoidance worked. Rachel was nowhere to be seen.

The following day passed in a similar fashion, with him being so busy he barely saw her. Even when he did, he managed to stay quiet. He thought he'd feel better by gaining back some of his privacy. In reality, he only felt like shit whenever her face looked defeated after trying to engage him in conversation. Not that he was rude or anything, his answers just didn't let a whole of room for proper discussions to be held. He didn't want to hurt her and he was hurting himself. However, if he stopped retreating he was bound to get hurt eventually.

He decided to keep them in this weird limbo would be the best thing. Until the third day, when he entered home. He saw Rachel standing in front of the dark window, her shirt up to her ribcage. After so much time, her bruises had healed. As a man that had not gotten any action in years, he normally would have been aroused at the sight of her flat belly, still hard from obvious exercise. He didn't see that at all, but a scar just above her hipbone. A white gash against her otherwise perfect olive skin, the edges an angry red color. He knew enough about scars to know it was old, but the red was from being constantly picked on. In her misery, she didn't hear him enter, or take steps towards her. He couldn't keep ignoring her. She was in pain, and he couldn't help feel like he needed to do something about it.

"Rachel?" he approached cautiously. She still didn't notice.

"What happened there Rach?" he motioned at her stomach.

Her mouth was shaped in an 'O', her hands fell limply at her sides. She looked like a child caught doing something wrong.

"You weren't supposed to see this Finn, forget about it." She smoothed her shirt over her torso and started turning towards her room.

He wasn't about to drop this. He grabbed her wrist, careful not to hurt her but with enough force to stop her. "I can't just forget about something like that. Please, tell me. You know you can trust me."

"So now you want to talk to me?" she spit back spitefully.

He winced. "I know I've been an ass lately, sorry. I told you, I'm not good at dealing with people sometimes."

Her insecurity turned into rage. "That's crap Finn, you're only unfriendly whenever you feel like it. One day you're really nice, and the other just gone. I know I'm just a guest here… but honestly? I never know how to behave around you."

"I guess it's because I'm used to being on my own, you know? Like… I needed a bit of time for myself."

Her shoulders immediately sagged. "Do you mean I'm a nuisance?"

"No, God no. I just mean, sometimes, I need Finn-time. It has nothing to do with you." He pulled her to him "That scar? It has everything to with you. With your pain. I'm here to help. Please, tell me."

"I don't want to bother you with my problems." She tried to brush him off again.

"If I didn't want to be bothered, I wouldn't ask." He was slightly irritated at her sudden secretiveness. He thought she had told him everything, but clearly she was still hiding stuff. He trusted her, sort of, but he couldn't stand being lied to. She interrupted his furious train of thought.

"It was Jesse."

Ok, so she hadn't lied. Just left out the gory details. Finn felt stupid for not trusting her. "He stabbed you? 'Cause I'm no expert, but that looked like a f- freaking stab wound." he asked still in a fury that was now directed to her idiot ex-boyfriend.

"Not intentionally." He gave her a look as if asking if she was crazy. Was she like an abused housewife, coming up with excuses?

"Don't get me wrong, he was awful. But this? It was never his direct intention."

"What was his intention?" Now she got him confused. She stayed quiet so he led them back to the couch, reviving the fire while she kept quiet. He returned next to the broken girl. He waited for her to speak, whenever she felt most comfortable.

She spoke after several minutes of crying softly. "I…. He… I got pregnant. From his abuse. At first, I loathed myself. But soon I understood that I couldn't loathe my baby. My mom… she had… she was a surrogate for my dads. She was never interested in knowing me, even after seeking me personally. She left after denying me a proper relationship and adopted a baby. For so many years Finn, I felt motherless and abandoned. I couldn't do that to my baby. Despite everything, or who the father was, it was still an innocent creature."

Finn wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "What happened Rach?"

"Jesse found out. I didn't want to tell him, but I couldn't hide it when I started to expand. He said it wasn't his. That I was a cheap w…whore and it was probably some homeless guy's baby. He… he pushed me down the stairs. Only, he did it so hard I landed on a glass table. This scar? It's from a piece of glass that lodged itself in me. I didn't feel it though. All I felt was the blood between my legs, indicating my miscarriage. He somehow got some friend doctor to stitch me up and never talked about it again. After that, he made me take the pill."

By the time she was done, tears had stained his entire shirt. Even the ends of her hair were soaked in the salty liquid. Finn's heart broke for her. She had really been fucked by life. He thought he knew what was wrong with her, but he realized her issues ran deeper than he ever imagined. His own problems seemed insignificant at that moment. He engulfed her in a hug. She lost her strength and let herself let go. It didn't matter; he was carrying her with his arms. He let himself slide on to the ground, cradling her against his chest. He whispered, "_I'm sorry, so sorry" _over and over again until they both fell asleep on the floor. It seemed like it was their thing by now, falling asleep together after deep emotional turmoil. He should've been more freaked out than ever. He wasn't. He finally accepted that withdrawing from Rachel was no good. Sure, he'd be hurt when she finally left him to live his life but it would be worth it as long as he knew he did help her somehow. In that moment, he decided never to ignore the broken girl again.

The next morning he woke up first. Understandably, Rachel was still passed out from the intense night they had. He understood that telling him that story must have brought back the pain. Silently, he made his way out of the cabin. He wanted, no, needed to do something for her. Plus, he felt like he really needed to apologize for his douchebag behavior. For that, he had the perfect idea.

When he came back, two hours later, Rachel was sitting on the couch looking forlorn.

"What's up pretty lady?" he asked.

"Finn! I thought you had gone chop some wood or something…"

"Actually, we have enough wood for three winters and my arms are sore." He smiled mysteriously "Plus, I have a surprise."

"What is it?" she asked, slightly fearful.

He pulled his hands from behind his back to show her a bunch of white plastic bags.

"Did you buy groceries?"

"Better."

She kept staring at him.

"Why don't you come take a look?"

She padded towards him and opened the backs. Inside, she saw plenty of Christmas decorations and other Christmas-related objects.

"I know you're like, Jewish and stuff. But, the town didn't have any of those weird candlesticks and I didn't know what to buy. Anyway, I saw this little pine a couple of miles from the cabin and figured, why not? Let's decorate a Christmas tree, and the cabin. Holidays used to be the one time in the year I looked forward to. All alone, it didn't have a point. But now that you're here… will you help me decorate?"

There was the smile he had learned to hope for, her joyful agreement overshadowing whatever clouded her moments ago.

Later that night, his cabin looked like something out of a Christmas special. The pine tree was covered in lovely decorations, as was the ceiling, door and basically any other space. They sat down on the couch to admire their work.

"You know, some might say its overload. But, I like it."

Finn grinned. "Yeah, it looks pretty cool. Sucks you won't really spend Christmas Eve here."

Rachel looked scared. "Do you… want me gone by then?"

"Hey, why do you always do that? Interpret what I say to put yourself down." He half-hugged her to ease her worries. "We're going to my Mom's for the holidays… Unless you don't want to? If not, we can totally stay here."

"Oh, sorry. Never mind. Are you serious? You want me to come along? I can stay on my own."

"Rach, my mom would kill me if I did that. Plus, I want you there anyway. And if you say no, my mom will be pretty bummed. I called her from town to ask if you could come already and she's preparing tofurkey, whatever that is. It'd be a shame for her to not use it."

He felt her tackle, her arms surrounding him tightly. "Thank you Finn, thank you. I'd love to come. Oh! But I can't bake anything here. What will your mom think? A guest that doesn't contribute?"

"I'm pretty sure she'd be offended at someone bringing food she didn't cook, so you're in the clear. We don't really celebrate thanksgiving so for Christmas she pulls all the stops, turkey included so there will be too much food already. Plus, what I got would be really embarrassing if you didn't come."

"What do you mean?"

"Wait here."

He hurried to his room and brought back his final gift. In each hand, he held what looked like two knitted sweaters. One was very large and red, with a knitted Santa on the front, obviously for him. The other one was much smaller, about Rachel's size. It was green, with a cute knitted reindeer adorning it.

Her eyes shone like a kid during Christmas. "For… for me?"

"Unless you know any other really tiny people around… what do you think?" he replied with a wink, happy to see her excitement.

"Oh Finn, you didn't have to!" she laughed "You know, I used to wear sweaters like these in high school." She put it over her shirt. "What do you think? Jesse said I looked stupid in clothes like this and bought me an entire new wardrobe. Secretly? I loved them. And I love this one too."

"You don't look stupid, you look like… don't hit me for saying this, but you look kinda adorable."

Not minding his plea, Rachel swatted his arm. "Rachel Berry is not adorable! Just… unconventional in fashion!"

"It's ok Rach, if anyone is gonna look silly it's me. But, I though it would be cool. To match and stuff."

"Of course it's cool Finn, don't let anyone tell you otherwise." She looked deep into his eyes, willing him to believe in himself for once. "When are we leaving to Lima then?"

"Tomorrow, like at 5 a.m."

"What!? I haven't packed."

"Then go do that, and we're stopping on a mall on our way home. Got to buy presents and stuff. Don't worry, I'll pay for yours. Actually, I'll give you an allowance. Don't even say no, I won't take it for an answer. If it makes you feel better, someday, when you've moved on with your life, you can send me a check. I won't cash it, but if it makes you feel better, keep that in mind."

Her eyes expressed the deepest gratitude. She stood up. "Okay… I'm going to pack now." She leaned over and kissed his cheek, lingering for a couple of seconds. "Thank you, and goodnight."

Her kiss burned his cheek. It was nothing, he told himself. It had to be nothing. Even if he was making a super effort to see her happy, he told himself it was for her just to heal. The faster she healed, the faster she'd leave and the faster he could go back to his cabin fever.


	8. Lima festivities

_**AN: Again, I am overwhelmed, thankful and humbled by all your comments. I love that you guys love my story and your support is awesome. So here it is, the next chapter and the beginning of Christmas. :D**_

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

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This time, Finn insisted he'd drive. Last time, he had been too shocked to comment on the fact that Rachel's driving wasn't exactly safe. After the mailman incident, he had a thing for safety when handling a vehicle. Rachel didn't mind too much, and turned on the radio. She sang along to everything. Considering it was a classic rock station, Finn was very impressed. He was tempted to sing, but he had vowed never to sing again. Instead, he drummed his fingers to the beat. Of course, she noticed.

"Finn, did you know that your timing is impeccable? I hate to say, but not even I can manage all the time to keep up with the beats so proficiently."

"I'd hope so, I did practice the drums since I was able to walk." He replied, not thinking about what he said.

"And you just told me this?"

_Oh crap._ He knew she wouldn't let this go. "It's not like there's drums at the cabin."

"True… you still could've mentioned you're musically inclined!"

"I guess I don't think I am, anymore."

He expected a lecture on how music was imperative in everyone's life, outrage. Not silence from her. He didn't question it, just kept driving.

Shortly after, they arrived at the mall. He gave Rachel some money and told her to meet him there in two hours. For this outing, she was wearing skinny jeans, black converse, his hoodie (which was of course enormous for her) and a cap underneath. She looked nothing like herself, yet still cute. Finn rummaged around, searching for presents. He found really nice wine glasses for his mom, who he knew has a thing for fine china and stuff, so she would love it. For Burt, he found a do-it-yourself kit. It contained a small version of an old car in need to be assembled and hand-painted. Ever since his heart attack, Carole made him do most of the administrative work in the garage. When he became a congressman, he never had time to just work with his hands. Finn though the model would give him a chance to just build something. For Kurt, it was hard to shop. Sure he can get a fancy scarf, but he liked to think about his gifts. The mall had a small antique shop, so he went out of sheer desperation to find something. Inside, he found a brooch. It was made out of gold and it a little owl, delicately carved. What really sold it for Finn was the fact that the owl wore a tiny bowtie, the only piece decorated with an emerald on top of it. For Blaine, it was a no-brainer. He always got him socks with funny things on them, like cupcakes, rainbows, clowns, strawberries once he managed to even get socks with rainbow-colored unicorns on them. It was a private joke between them. Blaine never wore socks unless to work, and under his formal suit he always wore silly socks. He said they helped him remember who he was. The problem was Rachel, what to buy her?

x

They met after exactly two hours, bags full of items. Rachel was smiling widely, Finn too. They grabbed sandwiches to go at the food court and hurried back to the truck, ready for the rest of the ride. He hadn't want to go to the mall in Lima, just one in their way. He figured there were less chances of anyone in his family having the same gift as him. The ride passed quickly, filled with a merry good mood. He almost repeated the incident with that poor civil servant when Rachel started stripping next to him. She took off his hoodie, the cap and the shirt she had underneath. She was only left with a skin-tight tank top and her skinny jeans. Quickly, she reached to her side to grab the sweater he got her. Finn thought it should be illegal for a girl to strip next to a driver. Especially one as hot as Rachel. Thankfully, his army training helped him achieve complete focus on the road.

Next thing he knew, his mom was crushing him in a hug. She was still recovering and in physiotherapy, but no accident could keep Carole Hudson-Hummel from hugging her estranged child. She hugged Rachel just as enthusiastically.

"Sweetie is so good to see you again! But clearly, Finn is not feeding you enough."

"Hey, she's the one that cooks."

Carole scoffed and continued to fuss over Rachel. He could tell the girl appreciated it. Once inside everyone hugged her, including Burt who was usually very awkward about physically displaying his affections. Finn was happy she was treated so well. After the story she told him, he hoped his own mom could give her some of the motherly love she never had. They put their presents under the tree, except each others. They promised they would do that back in the cabin to honor the effort they made to decorate it.

When the greetings were over, they went inside the house to just sit back and talk. This time, Rachel was set to stay with Kurt while Blaine was going to stay with Finn. He felt like he was in high school again, but he did feel guilty about the fact that last time he had let her stay on the couch. Not that it wasn't comfortable, his mom had bought a couch so big _he_ could sleep comfortably on it. It was just the principle of the matter.

After they set their bags where they were supposed to be, they gathered together again. Everything was going awesome until Kurt dropped information Finn had no idea about.

"So, Rachel. How did you spend your birthday? What did Finn do?"

"Kurt, I…."

"Wait, Rach. What?" Finn asked in disbelief. "Kurt, how do you even know when her birthday is?"

"Duh, Finn. I know the birthdays of all my idols."

"Why didn't you tell me Rach?" he asked, still feeling like crap about not knowing this fact.

"I… I was going to, but…"

"But what?" He pressed on. He was freaking out. Did she not trust him enough to tell him? Had he not shown, clearly, how he put her well-being before his own?

"You gave me my birthday present early, actually."

"Huh?" Now he was really confused. Had it been yesterday, when he gave her the sweaters? "What do you mean?"

"My birthday is the 18th of December."

That didn't mean anything to him. If it weren't because it was the holidays, he'd barely know the date. Today was the 23rd of December… but what had five days ago been?

To clear up his obvious confusion, Rachel said in the tiniest voice she had "December 18th was the day after the first snow day."

He smiled a bit thinking of that day. So that's what she meant when she said he gave her a present early. But… wait. The next day was the day he decided to go on douche mode. Oh. Finn felt sick to his stomach, or like he had been punched by a bulldozer. He had promptly ignored her during her fucking birthday? Unknowingly, sure… but he had no excuse. He was vaguely aware his entire family noticed the fact all blood rushed from his face, or that his features were contracted in what looked like rage and agony.

"I- I need a moment." Was all he could say before bolting out of the door into the cold winter day. Not even a minute passed before he saw Rachel running to him.

"Rach" he looked at her lost. "I'm sorry."

She stopped right in front of him, only a foot between them. "You didn't know Finn."

"Is that why you disappeared too that night?"

She nodded.

"I'm sorry Rach, I swear. I was such a fucking douche! I ignored you… on your motherfucking birthday. Who does that?" Finn hated himself and everything around him. He started pacing, energy coursing through him. He wanted to hit something, anything.

To his surprised, she just smiled. "Finn, give me your hands."

"What?"

"I said, give me your hands."

Puzzled, he extended both his arms. Her palms were facing upwards, so he put his palms on them.

"Look at me Finn"

He looked from the ground to her eyes. He was still shaking with fury.

"Now you're going to do me a favor and calm down, ok?"

"But Rach… I am such an asshole."

"You're the sweetest man I've ever met Finn Hudson. Let me be honest, I hate my birthday. That's why I didn't mention it. Not even when I was young did I look forward to it. It reminded me of the day my mother gave me up. Later, Jesse would celebrate it by punching me the same amount of years I was turning."

His hands only shook harder with rage. He could've finally given her a nice birthday but he had to be a selfish prick and not talk to her.

"I get that you need your space, it was a coincidence you needed it during my birthday. By the way, if you hadn't, I still would've locked myself in my room all day or gone out for a walk. Truth is, I wouldn't have told you."

"Why?" He was hurt a bit by her confession.

"Because, my birthday is just a bunch of bad memories. They plague me. And you? Finn Hudson, you have given me nothing but wonderful new memories. So why taint them with that little fact?"

"Really Rach?"

"Really."

They hugged and just like that, his rage was gone. He still felt like he needed to make it up to her somehow, but understood where she was coming from. Ultimately, his resolve never to ignore her again strengthened.

Inside, the Hudmels were privy to the whole exchange. They couldn't hear a word, but clearly saw Finn and Rachel talking intensely, holding hands. Carole even stifled a sob. Finn's temper had always been volatile and none of them had ever seen him calming down just like that. Moreover, they hadn't even seen Finn react emotionally in years. Usually, he just kept stoic and steely. In that moment, they all thanked the heavens for sending Finn the wonderful girl in his arms.

True to his feeling, Finn wanted to make up the lost birthday for Rachel. It took the very enthusiastic help from Kurt to manage what he planned. That same day, despite his tiredness from waking up so early and driving all the way to Lima, Finn took Rachel out.

"Where are we going? I thought you got all the presents you needed."

"Yeah, I did."

"So… where are you taking me?"

"My lips are sealed, Miss Berry." He smiled to himself. He knew Rachel didn't like surprises but he also knew he would never be able to pull off his plan if she knew what he was up to. The car ride was mercifully short.

"Finn… what are we doing at a school?"

"Not any school Rachel, the one I went to."

"Really?"

"Yup."

"As thrilled a I am to see where you had your formative years, what's the point of coming now? It's closed for the holidays and your family wants to spend time with you."

He silently led her to a little gray door. Next to the handle, an envelope was attached. He opened it to find a spare key. He put it in the lock and opened the door.

"How did you manage that?"

"I've got my connections." Well, Kurt did. But those were just details.

When they got inside, she was surprised to find herself in the middle of a stage. It was softly lit.

"An auditorium?"

"Yup"

"Why?"

He steeled himself to give her an answer. "Well, because I still feel like crap about your birthday."

"Finn, I told you…"

"I know it's hard for you not to talk, but let me explain."

She nodded.

"I was giving my brain a hard time thinking how I could make it up to you. Then I realized I couldn't. Not because I couldn't think of something, but because as you said, your birthday just brings you pain. I still wanted you to feel less sucky, you know? So I brought you here, to a stage. I'm sure it's nothing compared to the ones you were used to… but…" he ran to the side and flicked a switch. Suddenly a single spotlight illuminated the middle of the stage. He grabbed her shoulders and directed her to it.

"I wanted you to feel the light on your face again. A stage, again. You can sing if you want to. All I know is that you shouldn't feel sad about being born or whatever. Because your voice? Your voice is the biggest gift for humanity, and even though you can't go back to your life just yet, I thought I could remind you of the best if only good part of it."

Her tears dropped unstopped.

"Crap, Rach, did I do something wrong?"

"N-no, not at all." She smiled. "Sit down, in the audience."

He complied. He sat in the front row, looking at the broken girl taking deep breaths. Suddenly, she started belting out a song he didn't know. Something about defying gravity. She was mournful, she was hopeful. Her voice soared, barely contained by the walls of the quaint auditorium. She continued to sing, song after song after song until she was too exhausted. Finn was beyond happy, his present turned into a private Rachel Berry concert. He didn't think any human being could ever complain about that. When they drove back home, both their moods were as joyous as the season.

x.

Christmas eve was delightful. Much to everyone's surprise, Finn laughed along with Rachel and actually made conversation. The Hudmels had never seen Finn so alive in years and suspected the little Broadway diva to have somehow achieved that. Rachel, Kurt and Blaine even sang together Christmas Carols. That's when she found out Finn had been in glee club. They were shocked when they heard she had been one too. Since the brothers were four years older than her, they had just missed each other when it came to competitions. He was glad, no way they would have made it and won nationals with a competitor like her.

For the actual Christmas day, Rachel woke him with a snowball to the face. He found it hilarious, and grabbed whatever snow was left to shove it in her face. They laughed together. In pajamas, they went downstairs only to find the rest of the family sitting in the living room.

"Finn, I was just about to get you guys! Presents time!"

Everyone loved his presents. He got clothes from Kurt, silly socks from Blaine (hey, he liked them too) and from both his parents a new set of tools he'd need, complete with a saw for trees. Rachel got clothes from Kurt too, some cute shoes from Blaine. Carole got her a perfume and Burt some gardening tools. She was so happy. He insisted on leaving on Christmas, there would be no one on the road plus, though he didn't say it, he really wanted to give Rachel the presents he got her. Also, the house full of people was getting to him again. It was weird, how Rachel's presence didn't bother him but his own family did. He pushed that thought down. His mom gave him a whole Tupperware set full of leftovers, including lots of tofurkey for Rachel. They didn't have a fridge, but they didn't need one with the cold temperatures outside. Rachel had even managed to make two loafs of banana bread, one for the house and the other to take back. For that, he was grateful. It was really cool, to be grateful of something again.

* * *

_**There you have it, Christmas in Lima. But... it's not over. Next chapter is FINCHEL christmas and their presents. Cute times ahead, though to answer some of your comments, there's no man more stubborn than Finn Hudson so it will take him a while to get his act together :P**_


	9. A very Finchel christmas

_**AN: Dear readers, here's the new chapter, finchel Christmas! I don't even know how I'm posting this, I am anxious/sad/nervous about last night and next week. Come what may, I will always believe in the power of the tether.  
**_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**_

* * *

When they got to the cabin they settled everything, barely looking at each other.

"So…. I guess we should exchange gifts now?" he asked, nervous though he didn't know why.

"Yes, let me just bring out mine, okay?"

He did the same, and they met each other on the couch, each with a bag in hand. They had agreed, to her insistence actually, that they would give each other two gifts. It was, apparently, the way her fathers did it and she had asked him to keep the tradition. He couldn't refuse and actually thought it was a good idea. The first gift was supposed to be something practical, while the other something meaningful. They exchanged the practical gift first.

"I got you a prepaid phone. Being in the army, you pick up skills. One of them is what to do to block the number and actually it's kinda easy. I know that you hate not having talked to your dads, only emailing them from that Internet café whenever you convince someone to lend you their laptops. You can call them from there, and even if Jesse finds out he can't trace you back from that."

"Wow, Finn. That's very thoughtful… are you sure you got the right gift for this round?"

"Yup"

"Oh, okay then. Mine is a little less meaningful for now."

"I'm sure it's awesome Rach, come on! I want my present!"

She laughed and handed him a box. Inside, there was a bunch of bottles he didn't understand, so he looked at her for support.

"There's moisturizing cream and chapstick. I've noticed that your hands are very calloused from working with them, and thought they needed a little TLC. The chapstick is because your lips get very dry when you're outside in the cold. Also, there's sunblock for when the summer comes, your skin is far too fair to be just unprotected. Finally, there's some hair gel. I noticed how long you took getting yourself ready for our visit, so I figured it was you wanted to impress your family somehow. So, for next time. I thought of getting you a razor but I figured that's up to you, so no pressure."

He couldn't believe her. Yes, everything was very practical, but so considerate. Every item represented a detail about himself he hadn't even noticed. She had though, and actually thought about. Like, she was encouraging to take care of himself because she thought he was worth it. It meant a lot.

"Rach, you're… very observant and… thank you. Seriously, this is already the coolest present I've gotten. But don't tell Kurt, he swears that ugly gray jumper is the best thing that will ever happen to me."

She giggled. "Come on Finn, present time; round two!"

He turned beet red and gave her a soft jewelry box.

"Finn, you didn't have to… it's too much."

"You said something meaningful, and honestly this was the best I got."

He figured she expected him to mean that he thought pricy was important for meaning. She was wrong, to an extent. He had thought about her gift, a lot. With trembling fingers, Rachel opened the lid. She saw a very delicate white gold chain. Hanging from it was a circle. Around the rim, it had miniscule diamonds shining. She looked up at him.

"What does it mean?" she asked, still trembling.

"Well, you know how a circle has no beginning and no end?"

"Yes." She was still noticeably confused.

"So do you, not that you're shaped like a circle or something" he mumbled embarrassed. "I mean it's your spirit Rachel. Even with everything, you're able to still have a spark. Like, life vibrates inside of you. And it shows, you are larger than life and that's infinite. When you sing? It's like the universe unravels all of its secrets. It's white gold because that reminds me of our snow day, how awesome it was. The diamonds are because they're supposed to last forever, and, so will you. I know it Rach, your energy will always roam the earth."

Rachel was tearing up by the end of his speech and only managed to give him a box with shaky hands.

Inside, he found a miniature drum. It was completely perfect, about the size of his hand. All the correct pieces were properly located and the painting was beautiful, replicating exactly what drums were supposed to look like. On the small shiny wooden slab it was on, there was even a small microphone right in front of the drums. It was his turn to look up inquisitively.

"When you told me you played I knew what I had to get you, I became even surer after I heard you were in glee club. I hope you don't get mad at him, but Kurt even showed me a couple of videos of you in glee club, and you were fantastic. You're really talented Finn. I would know, I'm pretty talented too."

"I don't do that anymore." He said coldly. Why was she doing this? Giving him something he let go of a while ago? Can't she tell he doesn't want that part of him anymore? It hurt, to think of the old days. The glory days. When scoring a touchdown in front of a roaring crowd was nothing compared to a standing ovation on a stage. His emotions felt raw from even thinking about those days. His fear shone in his eyes, and Rachel eased them by rubbing his hands with her thumbs.

"Look Finn, listen to me okay? Promise you won't interrupt."

He promised. She lifted his head to make him look in her passion-filled eyes.

"It saddened me, a lot, to hear you say you let your musical side go. Your reaction right now hurts me. Not because of what my opinion on music might be. It hurts me to know that someone as kind as you would let music go. You might not see it, but so far you've truly saved my life. You gave me everything I needed, safety after the worst experience and mistake of my life. But, Finn, I worry. I worry because music is something that can only bring you happiness. Even if it's a sad song, it lightens you up because it speaks to your soul, and that makes a person happy. I don't know what happened to you, or what in your life made you into a solitary hermit. I don't need to know, not at all. But, do you want to know what keeps me going? That shine you say I have?"

He nodded dumbly, mouth ajar at her speech so far.

"Music, Finn. Even with my pain, every note heals the soul just a little bit. And you need to let yourself heal. Even if you don't think so, even if you think you're not worthy of healing – that you don't deserve to be healed, let me tell you you're wrong. You're wrong because as hard as you fight it, your heart is just golden. If it's any consolation, I think you're deserving of everything good in this planet."

His little broken girl made him cry, but she hadn't finished. She opened her mouth again and delivered that last part of her gift: a song. She started singing 'Smile' again, just like she had done that time at his mother's house. This time, he was also emotionally raw. However, this time his walls were down, completely destroyed. This girl, even with her pain and fear, had progressively removed each brick he erected without him ever realizing. Allowing himself to finally feel, he couldn't help but harmonize. He even joined her at the chorus, their voices intertwining with each other, creating the most beautiful sound ever heard. Inside, he felt his heart wired to a cable that pulled him towards her. Whatever connection they had before seemed meaningless. Music was reinforcing it, strengthening at the fastest pace ever. He felt as if her soul and his own were one and the same. His heart was threatening to spill out of his chest. He was feeling, really feeling. It wasn't that he hadn't felt anything in four years. More like he didn't allow himself to think about it at all. Always pushing down everything in cowardice. Her voice, mixed with his voice, did not allow for it. At the end of the song their foreheads were pressed together. Their eyes spoke to each other of trust, of companionship despite their obvious baggage. He lifted her chin with his index fingers and inched forward, closing the distance between them. He felt his nose brush up against hers, and that glorious buzz that happens just when two lips are about to meet. He pressed his lips against her soft, plump ones. His fingers caressed her nape softly, as he grabbed her lower lip between his two lips and sucked a little on it. He did the same for the upper lip, this time with her mimicking his movements. Their lips moved slowly, as if there was no rush in this world. They kissed each other until their jaws hurt and their lips felt chapped raw. Their tongue muscles exhausted and their cheeks straining from the effort should have been indicators for them to stop. But they didn't. They kept kissing like their very well-being depended on kissing each other.

Rachel was the first one to pull away, panting from the intense session they just had.

He didn't know what to say, what to do. Where the hell had _that_ come from? Why did he just kiss her? Why did he enjoy it? It felt like all these sparks had short-circuited his brain into a pile of fried goo. He kept his eyes trained downwards, suddenly very interested on the seams of his jeans. He could feel Rachel's gaze burning a hole right through his forehead but he honestly didn't know what to say. While he figured it out, she spoke.

"Do you mind… if I call my dads now from the phone you gave me? I'd really like to hear their voices again." She asked shyly.

Finn didn't know exactly what to say. Of course he didn't mind her calling her dads, that's why he gave her the present in the first place. His problem was her sudden change of topic. Was she going to ignore what just happened? He didn't want to. He wanted to talk about it. What did it all mean? His brain felt heavy in his skull. He decided maybe it was for the best not to talk about it. Maybe it was best he just played along. It's not like he could actually talk about it anyway when he had no idea where that even came from in the first place. He didn't want to hurt her and maybe he would if he pursued what plagued his mind in that moment. Ultimately, he didn't want to hurt either. That kiss, as magical, as powerful as it had been was also a mistake. A dangerous trap for both their damaged hearts. A trap they couldn't fall into for they had nothing else to give. Yeah, Finn knew it had been a mistake he couldn't allow to happen again. She gave him an out though... so, he just answered her question.

"Of course Rach. Why are you asking me? It's your phone. Just… promise me you'll be careful? Don't stay on the line too long and whatever you do, don't disclose your location."

"I know Finn. Thanks for worrying though."

"No problem. I'll leave you to it. If you need me I'll be in my room, okay?"

She nodded, already assembling the phone to call her dads. It looked like she was definitely going to ignore their mind-blowing kiss. He was fine with that, or so he told himself. It had just been a moment thing – both had been so vulnerable about their presents. Yeah, it didn't really mean anything. At the end of the day, he surmised, she was still the broken girl and he was a man beyond repair.

* * *

_**AN2: I feel awful publishing an angsty chapter at this point, but Finchel still has a long way to go before anything real can happen. What can I say, they're stubborn fools.**_

_**By the way, it must be getting old maybe but I can't publish without thanking each and every one of you for your support. If I could, I'd bake you all "You're awesome" cookies. But alas, I hope my simple appreciation suffices for now. Have a lovely day, us Finchel fans deserve it.  
**_


	10. Holiday tragedy

_**AN: Dearest readers, here's a brand new chapter. Again, thank you so much for your kind reviews, you guys make my day. I am not only thankful but humbled. I've gotten reviews from many ff authors whose fics I simply adore :D Brace yourselves, drama is coming.**_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing  
**_

* * *

Finn collapsed on his bed, physically tired from the sheer effort it took to push everything that just happened into his seemingly endless well of denial. For the first time since he made his way out of the living room, he realized he had carried his bag with presents. He took the little drum out and put it on his bedside. Rachel's words were rummaging around his mind. Did he truly forsake himself by giving up on music? Singing with Rachel felt like coming home but it was an anomaly. Singing… or even music in general only hurt so, so badly. He was unable to handle it; he didn't even turn on the radio on his truck when he was alone. But her eyes had nothing but conviction when she told him he deserved to heal. Did he? He wanted to, for some reason. He never had wanted to be better he had been happy with going through the motions. Had the broken girl managed to change his mind? Or was he still enveloped by those emotions he let himself feel? Finn Hudson didn't know what his next step would be, or how he could handle this new realization. Before he could analyze the point further, he saw his door open.

"F-Finn." Came a muffled sob. Before he could even ask what was going on, the girl ran towards his bed and into his arms. Her tears flowed on him. Again. He wondered what was going on this time. Had it been their kiss? He hoped not. He really didn't want to hurt her. Maybe she really did regret it or worse, maybe it sparked a memory from her with Jesse. He flinched at that.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he said carefully.

"Finn, why…. Why can't I get just one break? When it seems I can breathe again… something bad happens and it's like all that progress went down the drain."

"Huh? What are you talking about?" Their kiss had been so terrible she literally felt like she was back to zero?

"Finn, it's my papa. I hadn't know that my dads decided to take a vacation from their holiday, if that makes sense, to visit my Nana back in Ohio and check on the house. Apparently, Jesse found out about though of course he did because he seems to be very fond of my parents nowadays despite how he used to hate them. Anyway, he… he appeared in my dad's home absolutely drunk off his mind yelling at them to tell him once and for all where I am."

Whoa, Rachel was talking at an incredibly fast pace and he had to take a second to process all that information. So Jesse had gone drunk to her parent's house?

A weight dropped in the pit of his stomach. "Did he do anything to them?"

"N-no. They denied communication with me since I disappeared. They told him to give me space since my disappearance was probably a way for me to figure myself out… they don't know about what he… did."

"So what's the problem?"

"My papa… he… went for his morning jog. A-and… he was attacked. Supposedly, it was a hate crime… a gang that hates gays and attacks them on a regular basis. But Finn, it was Jesse. It had to be… I mean isn't it just a coincidence my papa got attacked the morning after he told Jesse to leave me alone? And also, its very coincidental this group even knew he was gay and knew exactly where and when he'd be, especially considering my fathers weren't even supposed to be in Columbus!. There's too many coincidences and…. It hurts Finn."

"Oh, Rachel." He hugged her against him and let her cry herself out. One thing he learned living with her was that she reacted very emotionally and only when she had dried up was she able to tackle reality again.

"Is he ok though? What do you mean with 'attacked'?"

"I… I don't know. He's alive, that's for sure. But badly beaten. You know what kills me the most?"

Finn shook his head in response, still holding on to her.

"I can't go visit him Finn. I can't. Jesse will probably have spies there or worse, be there himself… and if he finds me he will never let me go again… that is if he doesn't kill me. My father, the man who raised and loved me is fighting for his life in a crappy hospital and I. Can't. See. Him."

Finn kissed her head. He couldn't say anything. What could he say? No assurances could aid her. He thought back to his parent's accident. He died a bit inside when he got the news. He was only able to breathe again when he saw his mom again. Even bruised and with her limbs in casts, it felt right to be there. Rachel couldn't get that… nothing he could say would help her. If he could just take her pain away, or do something. Nothing short of plastic surgery could get her to the hospital. In that precise moment, Finn had one of his few but entirely brilliant ideas. He kissed her head once again, standing up with the promise to be right back.

* * *

After a few calls from Rachel's new phone, everything was set. He got back to his room. Rachel had passed out from… crying or pain… he couldn't tell but he did feel the pain too. He had always been told one of his biggest assets was his natural empathy. He hated that and it was another reason he distanced himself from others… how could he feel what they did when he didn't feel human at all? But with Rachel, he couldn't help this quality from appearing in full force, she just inspired him in that way. He got the necessary items from the cabin into his duffel bag. After slinging it back to his shoulder, he carried her gently. From his room, to the door, continuing down the long walk to his car. He carefully set her on the passenger's seat and went around the truck. He hoped to God and everything holy that his plan worked. It needed to work.

About halfway to their destination, he felt Rachel stir. He really hoped she wouldn't freak about the fact he had basically kidnapped her.

"Good nap, sleeping beauty?"

"Why are we in your car, Finn?" she said once the shock of where she was registered.

"Oh, I figured we could go visit your dad. Though we need to go by Lima first." He went with sounding casual, the situation was dramatic enough as it was to add any flair to it.

"What? How? Finn did you not hear me? Jesse will be there, or close. Do you want to be rid of me? Do you want him to take me again? For me to be back in his hands?"

Luckily, the road was completely empty; otherwise they would've gotten into a major car accident when Finn slammed on the brakes.

"Rachel, how can you say that?" he asked, completely offended. How could she even think there was a chance in hell he'd want her gone in the arms of the very psycho that made her so sad? "I'm taking you to Ohio, yes. But… look at me, will you?"

Her eyes raised to his. He saw every vein in her huge white orbs red and throbbing from all her crying.

"I will never, ever, let you in that asshole's slimy hands ever again. Don't you see? I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I do. I have a plan, but you better be a damn good actress for us to pull it off." He got the car started again, his eyes fixed on the road and the road only. He knew his tone had been harsher than usual but honestly? It was kind of tiring to hear her over and over again doubting him. As if he wanted to get rid of her as soon as possible. He promised he would help her until she healed and he kept his promises. He had hoped she knew him enough to know he'd never go back on his word. What else could he do to prove it to her?

"I… I'm sorry I doubted you Finn. It's just… Jesse always made sure I knew how worthless I really am. I just can't see why you're so determined to help me."

"Easy, I promised you. You better learn now, I never just promise something. I mean it." He replied, still pissed off at her insecurity. He just wanted her to see herself like he did. He thought he made progress with his gift… but it seemed whatever steps she took forth, she ran miles back.

"Ok… so what's the plan?"

He thanked the stars she asked that. Now he actually appreciated her changing topics.

"I called Kurt. We're meeting him in Lima. You're getting a make-over for tonight."

"I highly doubt new clothes and make up will fool Jesse."

"I doubt that too. Lucky for you, we know Mercedes Jones."

"The make-up artist?"

"One and the same. Actually, she discovered her talent while in a high school production of _Rocky Horror._ She owes Kurt a couple of favors. We're picking Kurt up and going over to her place. Don't worry, she's trustworthy and won't tell a soul she saw you."

"But… how can you know it's going to work?"

"I don't. I just hope it will, Rach. It's Christmas and you deserve to see your dad."

She nodded silently, not answering back. Her silence was to be expected so he just kept driving down the same road he had just traveled a few hours before. It seemed like it had been days ago. This time, the radio didn't go on. No one sang and no conversation flowed. Rachel was surely freaking out inside and Finn was trying his best to keep it cool.

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**_Next chapter won't be the hospital visit, but the make-over at Mercedes's place. Some drama up ahead. By the way, this fic will probably have around 20 chapters, so we're midway through but there's loads to come!_**

**_And never forget fellow finchel fans; believe in the tether._**


	11. Wrinkles and Drunks

_**AN: I'm back with a new chapter, I really hope you enjoy it. Again, thank you so much for your support with this story, I wouldn't change any of you for anything. Don't forget: Believe in the tether.**_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing.  
**_

* * *

When he arrived at his parent's house he didn't even go down from his truck. He simply honked and saw Kurt, followed by a flustered Blaine carrying bags full of the necessary items with them. Once they were inside, he drove them for ten minutes of yet more silence to Mercedes's house.

Once outside, the couple got out. Rachel was catatonic, so he opened her door and held out his hand. Silently, she took it, following him to the house.

"Rach, everything will be fine. You'll be with me, it's all ok. You're going to go into that house and become a different person. For your dad, ok?"

"Ok." Was all she said. It was all he needed. Truthfully, he was nervous too. Not only for Rachel but also for himself. Mercedes and her husband Sam were some of the people he dropped as friends when he decided to become a hermit. He knew they cared about him and hoped to god he could survive their incoming interrogation.

Sure enough, as soon as he stepped into the house he was received by a shout.

"Finn Hudson! Come here Justin!" he was engulfed by Mercedes's arms. He returned the hug awkwardly, patting her on the back. When he looked up he saw his buddy, Sam, staring at him.

"Hey" he said weakly.

The blonde man closed his huge mouth. "Finn, I can't believe it. It's you."

"Yeah, it's me." He shrugged his shoulders.

"What happened to you? You dropped from the face of the earth after we came back…."

"Sam, this really isn't the time." His head tilted towards the broken girl, "I called for a reason…this is Rachel, she needs help."

"Rachel… as in Rachel fucking Berry?" Mercedes just realized who the girl she was supposed to be helping was.

"Keep it quiet Mercedes." Kurt shushed her.

"Please, sit. You got some explaining to do Hudson. Why on earth did I receive a phone call from my boy Kurt saying his long-lost brother needed my help on Christmas from all days."

"Rachel… well you know she's famous right?"

"Duh."

"Okay… so here's the deal" her hand gripped his arm, her nails digging his arms, "She needs to go incognito to visit her relatives. But like… super incognito. She's taking a much needed break from it all and doesn't need the press to know her whereabouts or anyone to recognize her. Since she needs to go to a crowded place… she needs to be not her."

Rachel relaxed next to him. Obviously, he was not going to tell his friends her secrets. Again, Finn was hurt at her doubt but focused on the task at hand.

"I've got wigs and all kinds of clothes one could possibly need." Kurt added.

"And this couldn't wait?"

"No. Mercedes, do you think I'd be in your living room right now or at all if I could avoid it?"

At that, everyone but Rachel cast their eyes down. Finn had made his point.

Kurt and Mercedes left to plan the best way to disguise Rachel while only Blaine and Sam remained with Finn and Rachel in the living room. The tension filled the air. Rachel was positively hiding herself. She wanted to disappear, he knew. He wished to do the same.

"Sam?" Finn spoke.

"Yeah man?"

"Is she…"

"No Finn. She's two doors down." Sam replied knowing exactly what his old friend was asking. He sighed in relief. He really didn't want to see _her. _No amount of years could lessen the pain.

Finn's heart plunged right into his stomach when they all heard the keys clumsily rattle against the door. Then they heard the lock, being opened in the wrong direction. The door shook and rattled. Eventually, it opened to reveal none other than a very drunk Quinn Fabray, wobbling towards them barely able to remove her coat from her bony shoulders.

He gripped Rachel's hand tighter than ever before. The vague notion that he could be causing her pain passed his mind but he couldn't really dwell on it. His eyes were locked with Quinn's for the first time in years and it wasn't less painful. The blonde ex-beauty stared at him wide-eyed only to transform her face into a hazy, wide smile.

"F-iiinn? Could dat be you?"

"Hi, Quinn." He answered curtly.

"Oooh myy! To… wha- do we owe dis plea-pleasure? Ya missed me didn't'cha? Finally you came to yerr sensesss?"

"Nothing like that Quinn, I needed Mercedes's help with something."

Quinn promptly ignored his response since she was squinting evily at Rachel. She reminded him of her glory days as head bitch, a reminder he'd rather go without. "Who's dat nesht to ya Finn? A frrriend?"

"Quinn, this is…. Rae."

"Why ish she hidin?" She spat maliciously.

Rachel looked up to say hi to Quinn. What she saw was a blonde beauty that had clearly given up on life. Quinn's eyes were disoriented, her pretty lavender dress smudged with dirt, food and what looked like vomit, a bra strap hanging off her shoulder. She was swaying in the middle of the living room. Her make up was all over the place, mascara dried up on her cheeks and most of her bright red lipstick was anywhere but on her lips.

"Ish she like… yer girrrl… girlfwiend Finny?"

"Quinn, that's really none of your business."

"Oh but... it ish.!" the blonde answered with a hiccup. "I mean, look at her! She'sh got like… huge hands… like manhands! Aren't her hands huuugee Finny? And dat face! Finn…. is she a tranny? Why would ye sss-settle fo' a tranny? You could've had me! We woul've bin sooo 'appy… and like… at least I've got boobs! She don't Finn… because she's a tranny… why settle for her? I dink you should totally take me back… Finny, we'd be shooo 'appy… not like with her… oh Finn, her hands… are sho huuuge."

He stood up, walking towards her in an apparent trance. Quinn smiled dizzily, opening her arms to welcome Finn back in them, staggering backwards at the shift in her balance. Everyone in the room was stunned into silence waiting for Finn's next move, whatever it would be. Sam and Blaine stared at their old friend with their jaws open. Rachel looked at them in fear.

Once Finn was only a step away from Quinn, he put his hand on her shoulder.

"Quinn, listen to me, because I'm only going to say this to you once. Do you understand?"

"Finny." She cooed.

"Quinn, focus. I need you to focus. Look at me, no… higher. Yes, look into my eyes You've got to listen to what I want to say, ok?"

Quinn nodded.

"First of all, you need to understand once and for all that there's no us, there never was. It wasn't real, none of it. Only your pathetic attempt to move on by _using me _is what happened_. _Second, and this is very important Quinn so you better listen to every word, because I mean it. You will **never ever **_**even **_dare to speak of Rae like that ever again. You're not head cheerleader anymore, you don't get to insult other people, especially people much better than you ever were. Rae is genuine and beautiful and Quinn, no matter how well you act the part of the beauty queen or how many surgeries you get, you'll never be any of that. You're rotten inside and you don't get to fucking insult her. She's the best thing to happen to me in ages and none of your spiteful words can ever change that. Finally, don't you ever talk to me again. Any sort of relationship we ever had, even as strangers, is long over and you know that." The pure loathing in his tone was not missed by anyone. Quinn flinched all throughout his speech, only to nod dumbly and go somewhere inside, never to appear again during their duration in the Evans residence.

Finn went back to the couch to a very confused, mute Rachel. She wrapped her arms around his torso and laid her head on his chest, understanding he needed support. He knew she could hear his heart, frantically beating from his encounter with Quinn. Only her presence calmed it down while he fought back the tears.

Kurt and Mercedes walked into the living room sensing the tension as soon as they saw everyone's faces.

"What in Gaga's name happened here?"

"Quinn" responded Sam

"What? You told me she wouldn't be here. What is she doing here? Finn.. I'm so so sorry I swear I thought she wouldn't show her face. How are you?"

"It's ok Kurt, I know you didn't mean for it to happen." He couldn't be mad at Kurt even though he was. It was about Rachel not about him and he needed to keep his feelings to himself. "Don't sweat it bro, are you guys ready to help Rachel?"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes! Kurt, please... what's the plan?"

"Ok, sorry. We figured the best way to disguise her was, and I know this might sound cliché but I swear it will work… as an old lady. Mercedes here has the necessary fake skin grafts to blend into her skin. We're going to need to make her impossibly pale and half-blind too. We have all the clothes we need and a few extra inventive accessories. But Finn, we kind of need you for the plan to work."

"What?" What could they possibly need? He was already here and would be going in with her as her shadow bodyguard… or at least that's what he had planned to do.

"You're going to need to pretend Rachel is your grandmother."

"Kurt, no one will ever believe that."

"No one will doubt you in full uniform."

"You've got to be kidding me."

"Your mom is bringing it over right after she presses it. You look about the same shape, we just need to shave that squirrel you call a beard. And cut your hair."

"Kurt… Isn't there another way?"

"Do you want to help Rachel, or not?"

"Okay, I'll do it."

"Good, we need to start now."

* * *

Who knew make up took four hours? Seriously, that's what it took the actor from _Hellboy_ to get his make up on and he was a fucking demon. Finn had to appreciate Mercedes's art though. She started putting some sort of weird skin colored cream on Rachel and blend it against her skin. Then she started sticking weird skin pieces that looked too real for comfort. When she was done, Rachel could not be recognized. Her features had aged about sixty years. Her frown lines were deep, and her eyes droopy, surrounded by wrinkles. Her plump lips looked like thin lines. Her perfect skin was whiter than Finn's now, with some brown spots characteristic of age. Even her eyes were different. They were blue now, but a misty blue like she actually had cataracts. Her beautiful neck was now wrinkly and saggy. Her delicate hands sported more spots and protruding veins. Her hair had been covered by a wig of white hair, tightly tied in a bun. Kurt had given her a long black skirt and a white blouse. Finn was grossed out by the sheer detail. He had somehow arranged a big bra that made Rachel's boobs look huge and saggy from age. They even added a small hunch on her back for effect. They finished the ensemble with a creamy knitted shawl and big owl glasses.

"How do I look?" She asked him.

"Whoa Rach, no offense, but you look old and ugly."

"Perfect!" when she beamed at him, he winced at the fact they had yellowed her otherwise perfect teeth.

"Now your turn Captain Hudson!" Mercedes said.

He sat on a chair and closed his eyes tightly. He had never wanted to grow a beard; it wasn't even a proper beard. He did trim it and all… it was just that he didn't see a point in shaving anymore. Even with Rachel around, he never saw the need for it. He didn't mind being shaven, simply it felt unnatural now. He felt the scissors first, cutting with extreme care until the hair on his face was a little longer than stubble. He then felt the foam lathered on his face. He felt the blade, gliding through his skin. Each hair on his body stood as he distinctly felt the cool air hit his now exposed skin. He kept his eyes closed during the whole shave and even during the buzz cut to his temples. He hadn't had one of those since the army, often cutting his own hair quite terribly as Kurt was prone to remind him.

"You're done Justin. Open your eyes."

He did and saw his reflection. The man that looked back at him was effectively twenty-eight, not the forty he appeared to be with the beard and unruly hair. He looked like his old self but he wasn't too sure he liked that. Rachel seemed to disagree.

In a trance, she said "Finn, who knew you were so handsome under all that hair?"

The tips of his ears burned from his furious blush but he did feel suddenly confident from her compliment. All of the sudden that disappeared when Kurt solemnly stood in front of him with his old uniform. Memories threatened to attack him but one look to the now old Rachel gave him the strength to do this… for her.

"I'll be right back." Was all he said, taking the uniform in his hands. In the bathroom he put it on slowly, feeling the hard starchy fabric envelop him. He took his time to polish all his badges on the uniform, he even put his medal of honor; the one accomplishment he was most ashamed of. Finally, he put on his military cap, becoming Captain Finn Hudson once again.

He stepped out of the bathroom and was received with gasps from his family and friends. It only reminded them of the last time they saw him like that and such a memory was bound to be painful for them too.

"I know, I look awesome in uniform" he tried to joke to no avail. Everyone was just staring.

"Ok, we need to get this show on the road like now. Rach, you ready?"

"No, but it's now or never… right?" she shrugged her shoulders.

"Kinda"

"Ok girly, I already explained how to remove all that make up and here's the necessary tools" Mercedes said handing a bag to Rachel. "Take care, both of you."

Finn nodded and grabbed Rachel's hand again, walking out.

"Oh and Finn?" Sam called, as he was about to close the door. He turned to see his old mate.

"It was great to see you again bro."

Finn tried to smile and closed the door on his friends yet again.

"Your friends, they're very nice." Rachel commented, trying to break him out of his reverie.

"Yeah, I'm really glad they helped. I haven't seen them in years."

"So you really just shut yourself from the world?"

"I needed space, they get it. Trust me."

"You're the only one I trust, Finn."

Despite everything that had happened, all the memories the short trip home brought, the broken girl managed yet again to make him feel good. He truly meant what he told Quinn, she was the best thing that had happened to him in a long time. For the first time, the knowledge she'd leave him eventually became dread.

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_**Next chapter is the hospital visit and some surprises to come. You got a brief, tiny glimpse at what might be wrong with Finn but believe me it's not what you think. Our favorite giant will be telling his story soon.**_


	12. Hospital Surprises

**_AN: New chapter! Hope everyone had a lovely weekend and again, thank you endlessly for your support and comments. If you're wondering, in about 3 chapters Finn's story will be revealed... not without some drama leading to it! Here's the hospital visit.  
_**

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing.  
_**

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"Ok, so we know the plan, right?"

"Yes."

"Are you nervous?"

"Terrified."

"You can do it. I know you can."

"So can you."

"Ok."

They were outside the Columbus Memorial Hospital, ready for their plan to take place. He helped her out of the car. The act was on and she was now Grandma Elsa. She lived up to it, trembling and walking as if she truly was eighty and half-blind. She linked her arm with his as they slowly made their way to the hospital reception. It was truly now or never and Finn needed to rescue his forgotten acting skills.

The nurse behind the desk looked busy typing something in her computer. Finn cleared her throat loudly to get her attention.

"Yes?" the woman lazily looked up, only to see a decorated military officer. A very handsome one at that. "Oh, um Officer.."

Finn removed his cap and saluted the woman. "Captain Hudson at your service, ma'am."

"Captain! Oh… How may I help you tonight?"

"Ma'am I know this is unconventional but… I was here with my granny. She came to get her pulse checked. I couldn't help but overhear the mention of Leroy Berry being in this hospital. Officer Berry was a friend of my father's in the army and we were wondering if it would be possible to visit him."

"Captain Hudson, visiting hours are over…"

"I know ma'am, but I gotta get back to base soon. Barely got a pass to visit Nana for Christmas. It would mean a lot for both of us to see Mr. Berry."

The nurse bought the story, but still looked hesitant. Much to his disgust, Finn had to lay on the charm.

He put his elbow on her desk, using his half smile. "Look… Nurse Moor." He winked at her, to his disgust, she blushed "I know it's against the rules, but it's Christmas, it would truly make us feel better if we saw him. Be sure this particular army man will forever be in your debt." He winked again.

"Of course, just… if anyone asks you've been here for a while and you never met me. It's room 675."

Now came the hard part.

"Is he… you know, alone? My grandma here gets really nervous about strangers."

"That won't be a problem." By now he was quite sure this woman was quite enamored with him judging from the blush on her face and the way she seemed to thrust her chest forward. She picked up the phone and dialed a number. "This is the nurses' station. Yes, we are coming to check the bandages and any visitors must leave. Yes, the husband can stay."

"So, it's clear?" Finn said huskily.

"Oh yes… Mr. St. James is just leaving the room."

"Mr.…. As in Jesse St. James?"

"Yes, he's here all the time. Honestly he's been quite wonderful with the Berry's. Paying all their bills and ensuring their care. It's as if he was their son or something…"

"Yes, that's very nice of him" Finn said through gritted teeth. "Ma'am, thanks for your help. It's good to know beautiful, kind women still exist."

The nurse swooned, Finn simply nodded and winked, putting his hat back on. He tugged Rachel towards the elevator. As soon as their doors clothed, Jesse St. James walked out of the adjacent lift, vaguely wondering why the front desk nurse looked like a movie star just asked her out.

In the elevator, Rachel left out a deep breath.

"Finn, he's here. Jesse's here. With my dads." She ranted.

"I know, and we knew it could happen. Rachel, relax. As long as your dads don't know what he's done, he's not going to be stupid enough to harm then. While they're in the hospital they're safe."

"I can't relax Finn! The man that ruined my life is now with my parents. What do you expect me to think!?"

"That you're here? That we made it, that you're going to finally see your dads. Focus on that and only that Rach. Nothing else matters now."

She deflated. "You're right, he's here because of me so I can have a crisis later."

He didn't bother to correct her; it wasn't her fault. Not really. It was the fault of that psychopath St. James. It was a moot point; the only valuable aspect of her attitude was that she was finally in the mindset to complete the task at hand.

Unlike his visit to his mom, Rachel did not doubt for a second if she was ready to see her parents. Her walk was slow but that was just because she was in character. When they got to the room, she grasped his arm tightly, looking at him expectantly. He knocked on the door.

A tall, Jewish-looking man opened it curiously, confused at having an army officer in front of him.

"How may I help you, Officer?"

Finn extended his hand. "Captain Finn Hudson at your service Mr. Berry and I believe I can help you."

"How?"

Finn stepped aside to let Rachel be seen. Her make up was so convincing her own father just stared at her blankly, completely at a loss as to why an officer and his grandma stood in front of his husband's hospital room.

"Please Sir, with all due respect, if you allow us to come in I promise we will explain."

Hiram Berry just kept staring at them completely confused.

"As a retired U.S Army Captain, I give you my word no harm will come to you, so help me God."

Mr. Berry simply stepped aside, allowing the odd pair to walk into the room. As soon as the man closed the door, Finn told them to stay quiet. Quickly, he surveyed the room. No cameras or microphones had been installed. He turned towards Rachel and gave her a nod. As soon as he did, she dropped the cane and straightened her posture.

"Daddy…"

"Rachellah… is that you?"

"In the flesh."

Hiram didn't recognize his daughter, but he knew her beautiful voice anywhere. Still shocked with disbelief, he proceeded to hug her.

"But… how? I thought you were in a resort somewhere taking a break! How are you here? Who is this young officer? Why are you dressed like that?"

"Daddy! Calm down. All you need to know is that this man's name is Captain Hudson, and if anyone asks, I'm Grandma Elsa, visiting Papa because he was an army friend of the Captain's dad."

"Honey, why? What's wrong? What are you not telling us baby girl?"

"Please daddy, just roll with it."

Hiram nodded and engulfed his daughter in a hug. Even behind all her make up Finn could finally see the broken girl looking truly happy. Father and daughter broke apart, no longer being able to ignore the huge elephant in the room. In the middle of the room laid Leroy Berry. His face was completely swollen and bruised up. Finn knew a thing or two about unarmed combat… enough to know that Mr. Berry had gone through intense pain while beaten. No casts were on his body, but he was extremely bandaged. Clearly, his attackers meant to hurt but not to kill or even break something. He thought Rachel's theory was definitely right. A hate crime would not have been so calculated nor the force so measured. The harm was deliberate and done by professionals.

"How is he?" Rachel asked, her tone filled with worry.

"He looks worse than it is honey" Hiram reassured her. "Your lazy papa has been sleeping all day, let's wake him."

"Are you sure daddy?"

"Positive, no rest can compare to the healing power of seeing your mysteriously estranged daughter again."

While Hiram roused his husband from sleep, Rachel stood by anxious.

"I'll be right outside." Finn said, obviously uncomfortable at the family moment. She shot him a small smile that he knew was meant to be thankful, even if in her disguise she just looked like an old lady frowning.

He was going to stand outside of the door, but figured that would be far too obvious. Each floor of the hospital had a little waiting area. In this floor, it happened to be just in view of the Berry's room and he was lucky enough no nurses where behind the desk of that little area. Quickly, he went over to it and sat on a green armchair, waiting for Rachel to step out.

He figured he'd have a very boring time staring at the door. He would have, except for the appearance of a man in front of him.

"Excuse me, officer?"

Finn looked up to see the most arrogant man he ever saw, with curly brown hair and a permanent smirk.

"May I help you Sir?"

"Actually, I was wondering the same. Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Jesse St. James." He extended his hand. Finn's blood boiled with rage. In front of him stood the man he had never met but learned to hate with a passion. It took everything he had just to extend his hand and appear unfazed. If he punched the asshole he surely would be kicked out and Rachel needed him here.

"The Broadway director?"

"Oh, my fame precedes me, I see." Jesse smirked, "I am, though I am very surprised someone in… your _occupation_ knows anything about Broadway."

So the prick thought soldiers were uncultured grunts with no knowledge of the arts? "Oh we do. You'd be surprised. Besides, my brother is a huge Broadway fan, so he keeps babbling your name every so often."

"I see. I suppose my talents reach beyond my target audience." The man mused. "Anyway, what I meant to ask is why you're staring at my in-laws door like a hawk, Officer…"

"It's Captain, actually. And in-laws? I wasn't aware the Berry's had a son." He couldn't help the dig at the man's sexuality. He looked positively offended.

"A _daughter _you mean."

"Oh, sorry. Daughter then. You know, us military men think all Broadway men are pansies. I'm just a Captain, what would I know?"

"Indeed. You still didn't answer my question."

"My father, Christopher, served with Mr. Leroy Berry in the Army. Actually, Mr. Berry was there when he died."

"Is that why you're staring at the door?"

"No. You see, I'm currently stationed overseas. I was visiting my Granny, who had a bit a fainting spell. I brought her here and she overheard Mr. Berry was here too. She had always wanted to meet the man, but for some reason never did. She took the chance, it was now or never. She's in there right now, talking about my dad. She wants to know the details of his death, and honestly? I'd rather not. So I'm waiting for her."

"I see." Said Jesse, unimpressed with his explanation but seemingly buying it. "Will she take long? My father-in-law is a lot of pain and he shouldn't be distracted for unimportant business."

"I promise you sir, she won't be much longer. We were informed visiting hours were over, so she knows she must leave soon. Is your wife in there too? I didn't go in the room."

"No… she's away for business."

"While her father is in the hospital and you're here, helping out?"

"She's a very busy woman!" Jesse snapped at him.

"I'm sure. If you excuse me, I'll tell gran we need to leave. Then you can see your in-laws again."

"About time" the director replied.

"Mr. Berry looked very tired when he opened the door, he could sure use some coffee. I'd even recommend one for you too, Mr. St. James, I'm sure the paps won't like them eye bags." Finn walked away but he did hear Jesse's indignant huff and his designer's boots clicking away towards the coffee vending machine.

Finn hurried to the room, opening the door. Inside, he saw Rachel hugged between her two dads, the family comforting each other.

"Sirs? Rach? I'm sorry to interrupt, but Jesse is outside and he's coming back soon. We need to leave. _Now._"

Rachel stood to embrace both her dads, promising to keep in touch. In return, both her dads promised they'd be out of the country as soon as Leroy healed more and that they would never talk about her visit. Finn offered her his arm as she reached for the cane. He could feel her trembling. He knew it was because she feared seeing Jesse again.

"Breathe, Rach. I've got you" he whispered in her ear.

Just before they left, Hiram called out to him.

"Hey, son?"

Finn turned to see the tall man approaching him to hug him.

"Thank you, for bringing her here. Just, thank you. We will never forget what you did for us."

"Anything for her, Sirs. I hope you guys are safe."

They left but their luck didn't last, just as he was pressing the elevator doors, the voice of Jesse St. James startled them both.

"Captain, ready to leave?"

"Yes, Mr. St. James. Gran here needs her medication."

Jesse looked at the hunched figure next to Finn. His eyes showed no recognition of her as he smiled charmingly, extending his arm.

"Pleased to meet you, Mrs. I am Jesse St. James."

Rachel didn't need acting skills to tremble. She shook his hand politely.

"I'm Elsa, grandma of this handsome young soldier." Finn had to consciously stop himself from doing a double-take. Rachel's acting was beyond his wildest dreams. She managed to change her voice to the point where she sounded nothing like herself. She truly sounded the age she looked at the moment, and no single letter she uttered betrayed her portrayal.

"Well, I hope your visit to Mr. Berry was pleasant?"

"Oh yes, for years I imagined my son's death… it's good to know I'll die knowing how it went down. If you excuse us, if I don't take my pills soon that event will happen very soon."

"Of course, take care." Jesse shot her a sincere smile. He even graced Finn with the same gesture, not knowing how hard the soldier was struggling not to punch the living daylights out of him.

"You too, young man."

The elevator opened and they stepped in.

"You think he bought it?" she asked desperately.

"Yeah, and if he didn't it doesn't matter. He can't find us.

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because, Rachel, we never said my last name. Even if he finds out, my cabin isn't listed as my property anyway."

"Good."

"How are you? I mean, you just saw the man you've been avoiding for months."

"Surprisingly, I'm fine. I knew I was safe with you at my side. Don't get me wrong; it took all I had not to curl in a ball right there and then. And, I'm pretty sure if you hadn't been there I probably would have. But… I feel safe with you Finn."

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**_Aw Rachel being sweet and Finn having her back... cuteness yet they're still stubborn fools. :P  
See you next chapter! Oh and... who else is a mess after hearing The Scientist?_**


	13. Back to safety

_**AN: So there's a tiny bit of fluff but nothing REALLY happens in this chapter. Since I'm so awesome, I'm posting the next chapter right now (as soon as I finish editing it). A zillion thanks to you all and don't forget: Believe in the tether!**_

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Whatever emotions her speech stirred in him could not be processed as the doors opened, leading them outside. He decided not to answer, just drive them back to his mom's house. It was quite late. They needed to rest and there was no way he could drive all the way to the cabin. During the ride they kept their silence. He wanted to ask about her visit, how she felt, but figured that if and when she felt like confiding in him, she would. He didn't want to press her.

At his house, everyone was already understandably asleep.

"Want a bite Rach? I know my mom has leftovers around."

"That's ok, I need to take this off and it will take ages."

"Need help?"

"Yeah, but it's not urgent. Why don't you eat something Finn? Get comfy and then come by the bathroom."

"I can do that later."

Her eyes softened. "Finn, you already have done so much for me. Please, do this for yourself?"

He smiled at her lazily. He had to appreciate the fact that she went through so much today yet still cared about his comfort. His thoughts disappeared quickly when he found leftovers of actual turkey in the fridge. He put it in the microwave and started filling a bowl of fruits for Rachel, just in case she got hungry too or something. He stuffed his turkey into a piece of bread and wolfed it down. He even found some of Rachel's banana bread. Awesome. He was so happy eating he didn't even realize he was still in uniform until a crumb fell on his medal of honor. Its appearance sobered him, making him rush to his room. He didn't have clothes up here anymore, but he knew his mom was too sentimental to throw his old ones. He found an old McKinley shirt and old basketball shorts. He'd look like a moron but his clothes were at Mercedes's, so he couldn't do anything about that. When his uniform was stacked away deep into his closet, he felt at ease again. He remembered Rachel, went for her fruit bowl and knocked the bathroom door.

"Finn?" she called

"Yeah"

"Come in."

When he came in he couldn't help let a chuckle escape. Half of her face was still old, while the other her beautiful self again. She looked like two-face and it was amusing.

"Finn Hudson, you did just not make fun of me!"

"I didn't, I swear. Its just… look at yourself Rach."

She glanced at her reflection in the mirror.

"Oh god, I look like a character in a bad sci-fi movie."

"Hey! Sci-fi is awesome. But yeah… you kinda do."

She swatted his arm. "I hate that you're right. Get over here and help me out."

"Uh, I brought you some fruits? Figured you might be hungry."

"Actually… I kind of am. Yeah. I'd love fruit, thanks Finn."

"Don't mention it. Why don't you eat while I clean your free hand?"

"Sure."

Rachel started munching her food delicately. He knew she was all lady-like, but how the hell did she make eating strawberries into an art? He concentrated on her hand, using a make up remover soaked cotton pad to swab away her gray colouring. He took his time, fascinated at how the color receded into perfect olive.

"Finn, I'm supposed to be the old one here. You're slower than a turtle."

"I didn't want to hurt you, or like… irritate your skin."

"How about I finish my hands? You can do my face."

He couldn't help thinking of her suggestion in a non-innocent way. He shook that thought of his head as he grabbed more cotton to swab at her face. It was kind of gross, when the make up was removed and all that was left was a fake skin graft. He had to peel it away. It seriously looked too real for comfort. After about an hour of swabbing, peeling and cleaning, Rachel was back to her usual self.

"I really hope I'm never a character that requires that much make up. Unless it's Elphaba of course."

"That's the green chick, right?"

"She's way more than that Finn, but yes. The green chick."

"I think you'd sit on your chair like a trooper while they put all the green paint on you and secretly? You wouldn't mind it that much"

"Finn… I… I sometimes wonder. You know? How can I ever be well enough to go back to the stage? I want to… I do, but so many bad memories plague my entire Broadway career. It's overwhelming to even think of an audience."

"Then don't. Rach, you're healing a little, day by day. I'd be worried if you were ready to go back to the stage. You'll get to that point, you'll see. For now, just focus on hanging on."

What else could Finn say? They disposed of the remaining grafts and cotton pads. "Uhm, Rach? I kinda just realized something. Blaine is not in my room."

"And?"

"He's in Kurt's."

"Oh." Yeah, that meant they'd be sleeping together in the same room.

"I can sleep on the couch?"

"No Rach, you can sleep on Blaine's bed. Your pajamas are at Mercedes's house, so can you make do with an old shirt?"

"Finn, I'm sure your shirt will cover more than this granny skirt. Yes, it's fine."

He led her inside his room and opened his closet again. He found another Mckinley shirt and tossed it at her. She left to change. He took advantage of that to take his clothes off, leaving only his boxers on and got under the covers. He knew she spent a lot of time in the bathroom, so he didn't bother waiting for her. He closed his eyes and let exhaustion wash over him.

When he was about to descend into the deepest sleep, he felt a weight on his bed. Groggily, he opened his eyes to see Rachel in a shiny red jersey that said 'Hudson' right on the back. She looked like a dream. She laid down next to him, he shifted to embrace her.

"This isn't your bed." He told her playfully.

"I know… but, I don't want to be alone tonight."

"You better not kick me in your sleep." Was all he said as he cuddled into her even more. He was half asleep. His actions weren't conscious. Perfect alibi. His eyelids opened again after what seemed like a mere wink to see sunlight flooding his room and Rachel gone. No wonder, it was two in the afternoon. He must have been more tired than he thought. He put on his shirt and shorts, and treaded sleepily downstairs. When he got in to the kitchen, he saw his mom and Rachel having a cup of coffee, laughing like old friends. He thought that was cool. Rachel totally needed a positive female figure in her life and his mom always wanted a daughter. Even if Kurt came quite close, he'd never have boobs. It was a chick thing.

He cleared his throat. "'morning" he yawned.

"Look who finally got up." Said his mom.

"Yeah… I guess I was tired."

"Do you want breakfast Finn?"

"Don't worry mom, I can do it." He knew it was mean to say that. His mom loved taking care of him and others. He had no problem with Rachel making his breakfast. But his mom? It was too familiar, too old-fashioned for his taste. He grabbed a cereal box, milk, and sat down.

"So honey, are you staying?"

"No mom. We're leaving after breakfast. We really need to go back."

"Oh." She said downcast.

"Don't worry, I'll be here for your birthday."

"I know Finny." He cringed at his childhood nickname. "It's just been nice… having you around again."

How could he explain the woman that gave birth to him he felt like an alien in her home? He nodded and smiled, going back to his cereal.

"I need to take Burt his sandwich and then I have an appointment at the doctor's."

"What for?"

"Oh, just a check up on my arm and leg. It's really not necessary but Burt insists."

"But you're fine, right?"

"Quite, your mom can't be defeated by one drunk driver."

"I guess not."

"I won't be seeing you then…"

"I'll be back before you know it mom. And… I'll miss you, you know that, right?"

"Of course I do Finn. Can you… do me a favor?"

"I can try."

"Don't grow that awful beard again. There are three bags of disposable razors and about four cans of shaving cream for you in the living room. You should show your face, even if it's just to the wind."

Carole kissed her son's cheek and left with a sad smile.

"She's right."

Oh crap. He forgot Rachel was there all along.

"About what?"

"Your face. Finn, you're too handsome to hide it." She finished, kissing his cheek.

"I'm going to shower, then I'll be ready."

"Sure, I'll shower in mom's room. That way hopefully we get there before nightfall."

"Ok, meet here in…"

"How about forty minutes?"

"Perfect."

Their goodbyes were sad again, especially when they went to Mercedes's house. It was clear Kurt had hoped he would stay around for a bit longer with Rachel. Truth was he couldn't wait to leave his car aside and use his legs again all the time. He yearned for the clear air of his woods, his fireplace and Rachel's rustic cooking. Much to his dismay, Quinn was there again. This time, sober and downcast. She just looked down while he was there, grabbing his clothes while Rachel changed into hers. Just after they said goodbye to the rest, he felt a small hand on his arm. He looked back to see Quinn, regret written all over her face.

"I'm sorry Finn." the blonde whispered

"For?"

"Everything. I'm sorry, I figured I never said it. So for what is worth, I am sorry."

"It doesn't really matter, does it? You being sorry doesn't change anything."

She walked away and he hoped this time it would be for good.


	14. Burning Questions

_**AN: Just to let the lovely people following my story: I've uploaded two chapters today, so if you left off right after Rachel was at the hospital, go back a chapter to read what happened after that. This chapter is the start of something very important. I honestly hope you like it and thank you again for your kind reviews. Every time I see my a new email I might or might not squeal (you'll never know!). Virtual hugs and cookies to you all, and as I can't really give those to you... two chapters in a day is the best I can muster. Enjoy!  
**_

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"Is she your ex?" Rachel asked after an hour of silent driving.

"Who?"

"That Quinn girl, it was… quite intense between you two."

"No, she's not my ex, exactly."

"Huh?"

"It's a long story, you know? One not worth revisiting."

"I see. I'm sorry I asked."

"How are you feeling, by the way? Yesterday must've hurt."

"Finn, I saw my dads. Anything else was meaningless no matter how painful or traumatic because I saw them. I hugged them. In Christmas. Besides, Mercedes is a complete genius, seriously I had never hoped to look so real but she managed somehow. Jesse didn't even recognize me."

"Did you mean what you said?" the words tumbled out of his mouth.

"I say a lot of things."

"About feeling safe, because I was there?"

"Completely."

"It meant a lot Rach. Hearing you say that?"

"It did?"

"All I ever wanted since I promised to help you was for you to feel safe again. Right now, that might only be around me. But soon, your confidence will grow. You'll be able to take back your old life, kick Jesse to the curve and be the star you're supposed to be. It was awesome to hear you're on your way."

"Yeah, awesome." She answered so shortly, she effectively ended the conversation. Finn deduced she was still processing everything, trying to understand what last night meant for her, what her future held now she was partially but not fully mended. He simply drove content about the broken girl that might not be so broken anymore.

* * *

He hadn't expected her silence to last until the cabin, or when they settled back in. Or even into the night and into the following day. Weirdly, her silence was uncomfortable. Months ago, silence was his normal but ever since she arrived, he got used to her incessant chatter. To say he was concerned was an understatement. The next morning he woke before her. He was going to ambush her in the kitchen. He waited until noon and she never showed up. She must have been more upset than she let on and Finn had no clue why. He knocked on her door, but no answer came back. He opened the door and found the creepiest sight that ever flashed on his eyes. Rachel was sitting on the edge of her bed, staring at the horizon. She was even staring past him, like he was transparent or something.

"Rachel." He approached her, kneeling before her.

"Hey, Rach, look at me. What's wrong?"

She woke from her trance. She saw him in front of her and tackled him, making them both crash on the ground.

"Hey, what's with the surprise attack?" He chuckled, wrapping his arms around her to hold her steady.

"Don't make me leave."

"What? Who said anything about leaving?"

"Please, Finn. I don't want to go yet."

"You know you can stay here as long as you want. I've told you, it hurts when you say things like that out of nowhere."

"No, you're lying."

He felt as if her insecurity was punching him inside. Why is she suddenly so afraid of him kicking her out? He thought he had cleared her doubts about him away but clearly, it wasn't the case. "Why would I make something like that up?"

"Because you tell me what you think I want to hear?"

Finn grabbed her shoulder and separated himself from her. He felt revolted at the idea she could possibly think that of him. "How can you say that?"

"It's true. I know it… it has to be."

He stood up, furiously kicking the wall of her room. "How can you even think like that? What have I ever done wrong for you to assume I want to kick you to the curve? Haven't I proved all I want to fucking do is help you!?"

"That's just it. All you want to do is help me. But the result of helping me is me leaving! So that's what you want ultimately, isn't it? For me to heal and be on my merry way while you resume your hermit life in peace, without a messed up girl ruining your life."

"Do you really mean what you just said? Wait, no. Don't answer." He made his way to the door. "I want you to think, really think about whether you truly meant that. That you're convinced that's what I think. I want you to sit down, take your time. And think long and hard Rachel Berry. Think whether I am that person, or just who you fear I'll be."

"Finn, wait."

He looked at her over his shoulder. He wanted to leave, seethe and rage about what she said but he could never ignore her. He promised he wouldn't do it again.

"I can't give you an answer. Not because I don't know which one it is. It's because I can't possibly know Finn. Don't you see?"

He looked at her; her words contained so much pain embedded in each syllable. Whatever she was talking about clearly tortured her inside but he was at a loss as to what that might be.

"Finn… I don't know you."

"That's bullshit Rachel, and you know it."

"No Finn. I mean, I know you in the personality sense. I know you're sweet, loyal and completely honorable. I know you enjoy the smell of the forest in the mornings. I know you adore banana bread and that you're sweet enough not to say anything about tofu, even if you look like you're in pain when you eat it."

"What else is there to know?"

"You, the story behind my savior. I only know your age, school, that you were in the glee club and football team. That you were in the army. About your family situation. That seems like a lot but it's just general information, like a resume. I don't know details… I want to know you but I don't know anything about you, I don't know what shaped you."

"Rachel…"

"No Finn. I get it. I get it that something absolutely awful must have happened to you for you to turn back on your amazing family. I'm not saying I need to know. But, you never share _anything_ when I've told you my worst memories. You know my fears, my hopes or the fact I'm afraid of any sports involving balls because I got hit by one on my nose. I don't know your favorite color or what kind of monsters you feared as a kid. Finn, the fact you tell me nothing about yourself tells me you don't want me here. That you… you don't really trust me. And I trust you, with my life. Not having that trust returned hurts."

His eyes softened and his heart broke a bit. "Rach… I…"

"And that kiss Finn? It was amazing! You can't tell me you didn't feel the sparks. But I can't even think about it because there's something very wrong about kissing a man that doesn't trust you."

"Rach, I'm sorry, so sorry I ever made you feel that way. I really am." His knees buckled under his weight and he knelt on the floor, shaking. "I trust you, I do. With all my heart. I haven't trusted anyone like this except for one person. I just… it's so painful. I can barely handle thinking about it."

"Oh Finn." She hadn't realized his silence wasn't against her but as a defense mechanism. She had been so selfish she hadn't seen her savior was as broken as she was, maybe more. She rushed to him, cradling his head. "You don't have to tell me. It's ok, sorry I brought it up. I don't want you in pain."

"That's the thing Rach. For four years I've managed to deal with a pain I never knew. But you thinking I don't trust you? I don't know why, but that hurt more than anything."

"I'm sorry Finn. It's ok, forget about it."

"I... look, I made lunch, ok? Go… go eat or something. I'm going for a walk."

* * *

He left Rachel sitting in her room, probably hurt and confused. He couldn't deal with that. Not in that moment. He had held the hope the topic of his past would never come up, that she would just accept him for who he was with her without the need for information. He couldn't deal with her pain, because it meant pain for him too. He bolted out of the cabin into the snowy woods. He didn't have a jacket, or anything warm. Just his pants and shirt. He ran towards the wood, adrenaline pumping through his body. The cold air hurt whenever he took deep breaths. The chilly wind cut his skin and the snow went right inside his shoes. He didn't care. He ran and kept running until he literally collapsed. His head was spinning, every time he closed his eyes he felt blackness surrounding him and needles painfully incrusting into his body. Shakily, he stood up to trek his way back. He must've ran for hours, because his way back took even more hours.

By the time he got home he was spent, physically and emotionally. It was dark out. Rachel was probably asleep. He needed water, so poured some of the pre-boiled water he always had in a jug. As he downed it greedily, Rachel appeared in the kitchen.

"What the hell were you thinking!?"

He turned towards her, taking her nervous state. Why did she look at him like he was bleeding from his head?

"Huh?"

"Finn, you went off in this weather, for hours! Oh you're going to get sick now."

"Naah, I don't get sick Rach."

"Yeah, well we'll see."

* * *

By the next morning he was positive Rachel was a witch. His sinuses throbbed in pain, his nose felt blocked by concrete and his throat actually hurt every time he took a breath. Also, he was pretty sure there wasn't a McDonald's in his room with purple jelly beans singing songs around it, so he must be delirious with fever too. Groaning, he tossed to the side. Sleeping sounded good. Yes, he could sleep forever if he could as long as he didn't feel like someone shoved hot coals inside his lungs.

Finn went in and out of consciousness; whenever he was awake he was somewhat aware of someone being there. Even so, his feverish state meant seeing things that weren't there. Deep down, he knew he wasn't in Afghanistan. That didn't prevent him from yelling and screaming desperately, grappled by fear. His nightmares were only appeased by an angelic sound that sent him straight into a dreamless sleep. By the third day, his fever broke. The first thing he felt was a cold towel on his forehead. He opened his eyes to see Rachel above him, wiping his fever sweat away.

"You don't have to do that."

"I do, you're basically a gigantic baby when you're sick, did you know that?"

"Sorry." He said sheepishly. Finn actually felt super embarrassed about the fact he had no idea what he had said or done in the last couple of days.

"It's ok, not like you were conscious."

"Did I… uhm.. you know, did anything embarrassing? Like… asked for a teddy bear or something?"

She sat sadly to his side. "I wish you had."

"Why?"

"Finn, you really scared me. You were having what seemed like very vivid nightmares. Is that common?"

"It used to be, when I got back from the army. Haven't had those in a while." Actually since she entered his life, but he hadn't realized that small coincidence just yet.

"It was so scary. You looked like you were fighting someone. You cried, and screamed and kept repeating one name, over and over again… I did what I could. Waking you up was useless, or throwing water at you. You only seemed soothed whenever I sang, and even then it barely worked." She did look positively mortified. "You kept screaming, I thought your vocal chords would snap… yelling and yelling for mercy."

"Oh. Rach, sorry I scared you, thank you so much for taking care of me. You're seriously awesome though. I don't want to be rude but can I sleep for a while? I'm still tired."

Her forehead crinkled but she nodded, kissing his cheek in that lovely way of hers and padded out of his room. He let out a long sigh. Now he definitely had to tell her everything. He saw how scared she was, and he had to explain himself. Otherwise she'd think he was a complete lunatic… and that wasn't cool. Still, he pretended to sleep the rest of the day every time she came by to check on him. He needed to come forth, but he needed to get it in order in his head. The question was whether he could even make sense of it all enough to explain it.

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_**Next chapter is Finn's story. I'm writing, editing and re-editing it to give it justice, as it is arguably a huge turning point. For those of you curious, all your questions will be answered... soon enough. Emotional times are coming.  
**_

_**P.S. If you're remotely curious about me (though why should you be?) I updated my profile.  
**_

_**BELIEVE IN THE TETHER!**_


	15. Finn's story

_**AN: Your reviews are like a nutella-covered double rainbow, you guys are just the sweetest. So, here you have it: Finn's story. It's a long chapter and with reason. I REALLY hope it makes sense and that it comes together for you guys.**_

The next day he woke up at the crack of dawn. He put on his warmest clothes, even two pair of socks under his snow boots. He fixed a blanket, fruits, and some water into a bag. Then he went to wake up Rachel. He was very sorry to wake her up; she looked so gorgeous with her hair all messy on the pillows, sprawled all over the bed. She let out a little snore, it honestly sounded like a squirrel being surprised, before she turned around. He felt a pang in his heart. He wished she looked always that carefree, not weighted down by life. He went around to where her face was to gently shake her shoulder.

"Rach? Come on, wake up."

Her brows met adorably while her lips pursed in complete refusal to wake up.

"Rach? Come on" he shook her again.

Her big brown eyes opened. "Mmmm…. Finn?" she yawned.

"Yup."

She held her covers closer to her body, not even bothering with moving from her position; she rubbed her eyes, shaking her head to shake off the sleep that still made her brain cloudy.

"Shouldn't you be in bed, sick?"

"I feel awesome actually. I had like, the best nurse ever."

"Really? I must call that nurse to thank her then."

"Already did, actually I have a surprise for her. But she needs to get her ass out of bed, put warm clothes on and be ready to go in fifteen minutes."

"Nooo, Finn. I'm so comfy."

"For me?"

"Your arguments are irrefutable." She deadpanned. "Fine, get out of here. Meet you in fifteen."

Not like he was counting, but after fourteen minutes and forty-eight seconds she was in the kitchen, still looking confused. She was wearing the most adorable white hat and scarf around her face. It made her look young and innocent. Oh, how he wished he felt like that again. He motioned her to grab his hand. He walked silently through a path he had never taken her on. He knew she was burning with questions. She always was. He had to appreciate the fact she knew they would be fruitless until he felt comfortable enough to speak. The path opened up eventually to another small clearing. He smiled when he heard her gasp, her eyes trained on the small pond in front of them. This was a very special place for him, whenever he felt alone or like he couldn't go on anymore, he always came here to stare at the beauty of nature.

"Finn, this place is gorgeous."

He opened the back-pack, laying down a blanket beneath them. He sat down and opened his legs, asking her wordlessly to sit between his legs. When she did, her tiny back and head against his strong chest, he drew another blanket. He threw it behind his back, using the ends to hug himself and Rachel from the cruel wind. Her head rested on his body lazily, staring at the beauty around her.

"Want some breakfast Rach?"

"You want to go aaaall the way to the cabin?"

"Nope, brought fruit and water."

"You're a genius." She sighed dramatically while he got out the fruit. They ate in silence, resuming their previous position. He could get used to this, getting comfort from another human being in quietness. His moved them forward, his head resting on her head, then her neck.

"Rachel?" he whispered against his skin.

"hmmm?" she said sleepily.

"Hey don't fall asleep on me again… it's like you're narcoleptic all of the sudden."

"Finn, not to be mean but how do you know the word narcoleptic?"

"Easy." He grinned. "Shrek 2, sleeping beauty was one."

"Are you kidding?"

"Nope. So… you like the place?"

"It's so beautiful Finn… Why did you never show it to me before?"

"Because it was my special place, the one place I could come to just think and meditate and be by myself…"

"Then why did you bring me?"

"I… I trust you. I wanted you to know that."

"Finn… I am sorry for saying that…"

"No, it was ok. I am used to not letting anyone in, you know? But... Rach. You managed to worm your little self into my heart. You're my best friend… well, second best friend."

"You're my best friend too." She said moved, looking over her shoulder at him "Wait, second?"

"Yeah…"

"How come?"

"Can I tell you a long, sad story?"

"Yes."

"It all started before I could even remember. My dad died when I was less than a year old. My mom felt so lonely. She started going to a single mom's support group once a week. There, she met Mrs. Puckerman. Technically, she wasn't exactly single but her husband was a deadbeat… so it counts, I guess. Anyway, they became really good friends, bonding over their experiences. The fact they had boys of exactly the same age helped. I can't remember the first time I met Puck because he was there since before I have a memory. Kinda like any family member, you don't remember meeting them. They were just there. For me, that was Puck."

"His name was seriously Puck?"

He chuckled. "No, his name was Noah Puckerman."

"Why name himself after a hockey thingy then?"

"He thought it made him badass."

"No offense, but that's stupid. Noah is such a lovely name."

"He would've really liked you, you know?. He liked other badasses, like you."

"Really?" he heard the smile in her question.

"Totally. Anyway, I have two clear early memories about Puck. The first, we were still in kindergarten. Believe it or not, I didn't have a growth spurt until I was thirteen. You probably were taller at that age than me."

"That's adorable Finn." she giggled.

"Maybe for you. For me it meant I was the weak kid. One day Puck and I were tossing a ball around… and this big kid… seriously Rach he looked like a miniature hulk. I swear, kid had muscles."

She giggled again.

"He came by and called me names. He shoved me and told me my dad left because my mom was fat and ugly. I cried as soon as I hit the ground. I was a total pussy."

"Language!"

"Fine, a total wimp. Happy?"

"No, not really. The image of a little you being bullied is a bit heartbreaking."

"Here comes the good part though. Next thing I know, Puck is on top of the kid. He was about my size, but he still managed to kick mini-hulk's ass. He got sent home for it. But wasn't punished. And…. That's the moment I knew he'd always have my back. It's kinda cool… to realize that at such a young age. Makes you feel… invincible."

His voice started to break. Rachel snuggled closed against him and silently gave him some water. Thankful, he had a couple of gulps before proceeding.

"The second memory was the same year, I think. He came over to sleep. His mom was out of town. Those days were really hard for us, you need to understand. We thought we'd be badasses if we stayed up late. So we did, and at about ten or so my mom came back from work. We peered over the stairs, hoping to ask for some food 'cause you know; gaming can take a lot of your energy. She was, now that I know about those things, completely drunk. She swayed from side to side, a wine bottle in her hands, crying for my dad. I ran back to my room, Puck trailing behind me. I was confused. I didn't know why my mom was so sad. Did I not make her happy? Puck had gone through that a lot of times I guess. He just walked into my room, proclaiming it was time to be rock stars. He turned on a small radio I had and he set it on a classic rock station. For the whole night we sang, pretended to do solos on air guitars, jumped around. I even forgot about the whole thing with my mom. Since that night, we took up instruments. At home we had an old drum that belonged to my dad, Puck had a guitar from his. We learned together, jamming whatever little we knew for years."

"That's beautiful Finn, you and him had a musical bond. Those are very special."

"It only grew. By the time we were in high school I had grown too. It was kinda cool, to look down on so many former bullies. We even tried out for the football team and got in. I was second Quarterback for my freshman year, the actual QB for the rest. Puck was my wide receiver."

"You were the Quarterback?"

"Yeah. The head cheerleader back then was Quinn. Everyone expected us to be together though, the ultimate power couple."

"Were you?"

"Nah. I kinda thought she was a bitch… she used to shove me around in the playground too. You never forget those things. Anyway, when our second year rolled by, Mr. Schue the Spanish teacher, was putting up posters for a glee club. All of our friends thought it would be a loser's nest, but Puck and I knew we loved music and actually thought it would be kind of cool. Besides since the addition of Kurt to my family we like… started appreciating musicals as girly as that might be. We joined, along with Mercedes, Sam and Kurt who had been my stepbrother for a while then. Thanks to us, more people joined like cheerleaders and other jocks and even an Irish boy that seemed to be a bit of my fan. Glee club was not completely uncool anymore."

"It was uncool at your school?" she interrupted in shock.

"Oh yeah, you have no idea. The following three years were magical though. Thanks to our hard work and the fact we actually got a coach that knew about football, I led my team to two state championships. In Glee, we were kind of the leads. Him on the guitar and me on the drums was a winning combination. We rocked it out on stage imagining that it wasn't a show choir competition but like an actual concert. Classic rock, of course and we didn't even need to practice formally because we would just jam everyday after school. Our masterpiece was _Glory Days, _which snatched us our first prize in nationals in our senior year."

"Wait, that was you?"

"Huh?"

"I… I went to nationals that year to scope the competition, as I was planning to join Glee when I started high school. I remember seeing this two guys singing an amazing rock song…"

"Why didn't you mention it before? Kurt did say I was in glee club. Didn't he show you videos?"

"Yes but of you doing solos. It didn't click to me that was the year you won Nationals. I wouldn't have recognized you anyway. I remember the boys playing with a distinctive shine to them, like confidence bursting through them in sheer camaraderie… I didn't see in any of the videos Kurt showed me."

"Yeah, that happened with Puck and I. We were bros, you know? Like, we understood each other without even having to speak. Don't get me wrong, Puck wasn't a saint. He got me into everything. From smoking, to getting drunk, even pot once or convincing me to lose my virginity to a girl that came out as a lesbian the next day."

Rachel burst out laughing.

"Hey! It's not funny. It seriously bummed my confidence for a while."

"I'm sorry Finn, I promise… won't laugh again."

"You better. By the way I don't want you to think we were rebels or something. Puck just liked to live large and I went along with it. We were actually pretty normal American teenagers. The one thing I never saw coming was Puck falling madly in love with Quinn."

"Seriously?"

"Completely. Apparently he always had a crush on her because she was the only girl he thought was badass like him. They started dating in Junior year, and Puck was whipped. It didn't take time from us away. The only difference was that Friday and Saturday nights he'd disappear to hang out with Quinn. I was cool with that, happy not to lose my bro to his girlfriend. Besides, I had loads to do and friends, so it wasn't like I was alone or anything. Quinn became part of us too, and she was my other best friend. It was the perfect friendship group. We ruled the school together, Puck won junior Prom king, I won senior… Quinn won Prom Queen twice. It was like… a little club of ours and by senior year I was sad it would come to an end. My birthday was before graduation, a week after we won nationals. I had sent a bunch of application letters for schools, both in football and music careers. So had Puck, we made the pact to study together. I should've known things weren't always perfect like we wanted them to be… or that something was coming. But I was too happy to see what was going to happen."

Rachel grasped his hands in her arms, showing him her unspoken support.

"When I was eighteen, my mom and Burt sat me down, needing to tell me a couple of things since I was an adult or something like that. Apparently, my dad hadn't died in the war. My mom told me war had damaged him to the point where he couldn't take it anymore. He did drugs, disappeared for weeks… all while he had a baby and his wife at home. He died in Cincinnati, drugged and drunk in a ditch, leaving us all alone. He gave up his life and family for an escape. Who does that?"

"I'm sorry Finn."

He ignored her comment, too entranced by his own story. "I was so confused Rachel. Like… I didn't know who I was; my whole life was a lie. My mom, the person who is supposed to love me unconditionally lied to me in my face for years not even thinking how the truth would hurt. Burt knew and I suspect Kurt did too… No one in my family had the guts to tell me. Worse, they thought I was too weak to take it and maybe it was true. Rach, I doubted my family, friends… even my own existence seemed false. Only Puck seemed real. Him and Quinn got me through the pain by distracting me with watching movies. I even stayed at his house for a month because I couldn't look at my mom in the face without feeling betrayed. When the acceptance letters poured in, Puck and I had gotten into NYU and Ohio State. But I didn't want to go to college anymore. I felt that… that I needed to do something for the Hudson name. My dad had tainted it. I knew I would never be able to give my name to a woman or kids with that dishonorable discharge and shame looming over it."

"Is that why you joined the army?"

"Yeah, figured it was my best shot."

"I don't get it. If your dad got so damaged from it… why would you risk that?"

"Because I was naïve. I thought I was stronger than my dad. I thought that I could totally kick ass and make it back complete. The idea got so stuck in my head no one could dissuade me. Everyone tried, except Puck. When I told him he went silent. He didn't speak to me for days. I feared I had lost my best friend, the only person I had, because of my dad. But I couldn't back down, I needed to do this if not for him or me then for my future kids. One day Puck called me over to his place, ignoring our last meet and exclaiming an all-nighter marathon. In the middle of a videogame, completely casual he told me that if I joined the forces, he'd join too."

"Wow."

"Quinn hated me by the way. She said it was my fault her boyfriend was going to the Middle East rather than staying with her. She made me swear to have his back. I didn't have to though; I always had Puck's back. We went into it together. We went through training together and were lucky enough to end up in the same place together. Since we were so used to exercise from football and rocking out, we excelled in training. Once in Afghanistan, we rose up the ranks… it helped that everyone listened to us and we saved a lot of people quite a couple of times. Things weren't good most of the time though. To having to kill someone, even an enemy threatening to kill you, is like… impossible. Puck and I got each other through it. We would rock together when we could, often-awesome rock duets. We never lost it, our ability to get lost in the music."

"What happened?" asked Rachel, impatient but visibly scared of what he was about to tell her.

"War happened. One day, Puck and I were leading a troop for a simple mission of scoping out an area. We had just come back from Christmas break, we had seen our families and at that point, life was awesome. It was our sixth and final year in the army. We were twenty-four, ready to be done and take on the world. For that mission, we had twenty other officers with us. We were ambushed and dragged to a building blindfolded. They threw us to the floor in a room that smelt like piss, blood and death. They held us for a week Rach. Puck and I were the leaders, which meant we were the main targets. They tortured us, they starved us…"

"Finn." She turned around and hugged him. He could feel her fat tears his neck, saddened at his story.

"On the seventh day, we were found. A bloody gunfight took place. We were weak, but finally found and there was back up. Since I was in charge, I had to make sure all the men left before I did. I managed to have them escape through a window unscathed. It was my responsibility to make sure they were safe. I thought they all did. When I was leaving, a man pointed his gun on the back of my head. Fire ceased, everyone concentrated on us. Puck… he hadn't left. He punched the guy in the face. He entered the one fight for me he couldn't win. He told me to run, but I was glued to the floor, watching my best friend punch for his life. My men grabbed me and dragged me out of door. But not fast enough not to see the man taking over Puck. He… he fired his gun at Puck's legs… outside I heard more shots and a final cry of pain. You know what he cried out?"

"W-what?" she said between tears.

"My name. Not Quinn's, or his mom's… but my name Rach. It was like… I couldn't breathe or speak… he … I felt at that moment a part of me burned inside me, staying raw and painful until this very day. Puck was gone. The one person I trusted the most in this world was gone. My brother, the one I could always count on. I can't even remember being transferred to the hospital. It was a blur receiving the Medal of Honor. Puck got a posthumous one too. It was supposedly because we saved the lives of the men in our troop. But I know, I know it was because when they tortured Puck and I, we didn't budge. We didn't spill one plan, one secret. Maybe if we had, they would have let us go. I still hate that medal, it represents Puck's death for me and how screwed up the system is."

"Is… Is that why you sheltered yourself? Because of Puck?"

"No, not really. I wanted to live, I did. For him, he gave up his life for me so what kind of brother would I be if I gave up on life even if I was super depressed? When I got out, I had to deliver his belongings and letters of goodbye to his mom and Quinn. I was a bit sad he didn't write one for me… but I knew he thought it wasn't necessary. He said he'd never write one to me because we were bros and nothing could tear us apart. At first, Quinn blamed me… reasonably. But over just a week… but it seemed ages… we bonded in our misery. She… ah… we ended up sleeping together."

"You said she wasn't your ex-girlfriend?"

"She never was. It was like… a way to try to find comfort from our pain. I regretted it the next day, telling her we could never do that again because I couldn't betray Puck, even if he was dead. She understood but three weeks later she came to me crying, saying she was pregnant."

"You had a child with Quinn?"

"Almost. I got over the shock and figured that even if I didn't love her, I had to take care of her. For Puck. But most importantly, I could succeed where my father never could… being a good dad. Months passed and I went to visit Puck's grave. Quinn was there; I didn't want to bother her so I stood back and waited for her to leave. She never noticed and I couldn't help to eavesdrop. She was telling Puck how sorry she was. That she knew the baby growing inside her was his. She had to do this… she needed someone and she knew I'd never leave her and that I would believe her even if the baby came out with a Mohawk. I comforted her there… and she confirmed what she said. She had been pregnant when I came back already… and used me to ensure her baby had a daddy. I told her I didn't want anything to with her… a week later she gave birth to beautiful baby Beth. It was Puck's favorite song and truly the perfect name for the girl. Quinn had moved to my place, but I kicked her our. That's why you saw her at Mercedes's place... they're really good friends and I guess it's cool Mercedes had her back despite what she did. I got out of my depression to see the girl, she was Puck's daughter after all, the only reminder he existed. When I got to the hospital… Rach… I…"

He couldn't say anything anymore. The pain of the memory seemed to render him mute.

"Finn, please… you look so pale. It's ok, you don't have to go on…. You can tell me later."

"No.. No… I… need to."

"Finn you don't."

"I do Rachel, as much for you as I need to do it for myself. Quinn gave up Beth. For adoption. A closed adoption. Puck's daughter couldn't be traced back. I could have adopted her. He gave his fucking life for me and I let his daughter disappear with who knows what stranger? That was when I snapped. I couldn't go on. I hated my mother for lying to me, prompting me to go to the army. I hated my dad for being such a fuck up, Quinn for what she did. I guess, I lost faith in people. I couldn't stand them anymore; every time I was around someone I wondered if they were going to betray me. I became so paranoid I had to leave… and I came here still with twenty-four years, and have been here ever since."

"I… wow. Finn, I'm speechless."

"That's a first." He tried to lighten the mood, but Rachel was having none of it.

"Seriously. I already respected you, a lot. But now? I really admire you."

"What's there to admire? I couldn't save Puck's life, or his daughter's."

"You're too hard on yourself."

"Maybe, but I haven't finished my story yet."

"Oh god, there's more? I don't know if I can handle more sadness."

"Good, because this is the cool part actually."

"It better be." She warned.

"So, as I said, I've been here for four years. I built the cabin with my own hands and occupied myself in… either surviving or reading. Funny, I didn't use to read much but now I do. It's like… you can become someone else. Be in an entire different world. It was like living without having to do it. One day, this really tiny brunette midget appeared."

'Finn! I'm not a midget… just vertically challenged."

"As I was saying before said midget interrupted me, my life was suddenly different. It wasn't me, my memories and my books anymore. There was this super tiny girly with a broken spirit I had promised to help. Without even realizing it, she became very important to me. She proved it daily, cooking or generally being nice to me. When my mom got into an accident, she was the lifeline that kept me going. And that's when I knew she had my back. Just like Puck had my back. And… Rach, I can't explain what that meant to me."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I mean of course my family has my back… but they're my family it doesn't count plus there's the whole issue I haven't forgiven them yet about the whole lying to me thing. I wouldn't normally do friendships or anything… but you kinda forced it on me, so I had no choice. I figured we could live together but not be in each others life necessarily. But what you did for me, what you keep doing every day for me… Only Puck had that fierce loyalty I also see in you. And I couldn't turn my back on it; it would only have betrayed him further if I had refused someone who cared about me, like him. That's why I want to help you so much. I don't want you to leave… I truly, honestly, care about you. I trust you, Rach. I don't trust my own mother. I said you're my best friend not because you had my back though, but because I know I have yours implicitly."

"Finn, that's the sweetest and saddest thing I've heard in my life."

"Sorry."

"No, don't apologize. Look, I'm not saying things will ever be fine… because I can't predict the future nor could I say that when I doubt it about me. But, you've been so focused in healing me, you're missing your chance to heal too."

"Rachel, I… I haven't healed in four years."

"By trusting me, you're already on your way. Let me help you, let us help _each other._ For most people, it would be a burden, to carry something so painful on their shoulders. But you're willing to do it for me, and guess what? I'm willing to do it for you too."

"Why?" he said in a choked tone,

"Because I care about you too. You're my friend too, the only one I've had by the way just so you know. And… I think… we can do this. I think our friendship is the first step for **both** of us to heal. Finn, I don't want to heal if you don't too."

He smiled placidly at hear, barely containing a complete meltdown. His eyes were impossibly soft, finally showing his complete vulnerability to her. He was the most beautiful man alive in her eyes, and oh how she hoped he could be better some day.

Needless to say, both their souls felt one of their many open wounds close when he finally said, full of conviction. "Okay, I'll try."

* * *

_**So, did you like it? Does it make sense? One of my reviewers said she didn't want Quinn to be bad. She isn't... she was just scared and alone, having lost the love of her life and thus, any sense of direction. Next chapter you'll get some of Rachel Berry's Healing Plan and a really adorable scene.  
Don't forget to believe in the tether.**_


	16. Healing and visits

**_AN: Hey! Thanks for the reviews and I hope you're up for some nice fluff and sweet heartbreak. _**

* * *

Finn knew that if Rachel Berry was one thing, it was determined. Precisely the same determination that still fizzled even after four years of Jesse's abuse now became her source of energy. He was forever surprised at how well her little experiments to heal together worked.

A major component of that process was music. She was adamant for three days that he sang with her. Every day. He told her no. Told her he couldn't. Music was his and Puck's thing. It would be betraying him if he played without him. Her rebuttal annihilated his arguments, pointing out that Puck introduced him to music so he can feel good in the first place. Why would he ever take that away from him? He relented. At first it was super awkward, he and Rachel singing whatever songs came to mind. Then, it became natural. Like, their voices were meant to go together anyway. He eventually came to appreciate it as the best part of his day. Through music, he let go of some of the pain. She was right; every note cleansed his soul a miniscule bit each day. It was something, more than anything he did during his hermitage.

Rachel also got him to reconnect to his family. She convinced him to visit Lima every second weekend, even if it was just to be alone with her. He knew not to argue with her, he'd end up agreeing anyway. At first, it was awkward. The increased interaction frayed his nerves. Sometimes he'd even be really rude to his mom, Burt and even Rachel. They all took it in stride. Finn didn't even realize his family was so happy to have him there; he could have set fire to the house and gotten away with it. One of those times, Rachel disappeared mysteriously. He knew it was on purpose when his mom came by to talk. He didn't want to talk; he wanted to continue being just pleasant to each other. His mother forced him to talk about his dad. Mostly he listened to her detail how his father had been, his erratic behavior and drug abuse. Finn couldn't help sympathize now. He had seen worse things than his father and understood the temptation of just slipping into a black hole. Even though he strayed from society he had been strong enough not to destroy his life. In that moment, he could forgive his mom because finally, he could feel proud about something he achieved in the army. Even if that was being better than his dad.

After that, Finn still had issues getting used to people. The visits to Lima turned weekly though, with Rachel and Finn staying for the entire weekend. Carole and Rachel had only strengthened their bond. It really healed Rachel, being able to have some kind of mom proxy. The fact it was him mom reassured him. He knew for a fact she was awesome, so Rachel was in really good hands. His family was really great, but he didn't feel sorry from the distance he had taken from them. If he had stayed, he would have ended up hating them… but this reconnection felt like the perfect opportunity to leave those negative thoughts aside.

He even decided to talk to Quinn. No he didn't forgive her or anything. He decided to listen to her side of the story, maybe to understand it better. He got that she was scared. He understood when she said she knew he would never fail to provide, even if it was just out of a sense of duty from betraying Puck. He saw the logic she had and knew that for her to even think that way, she must have been complete out of her mind. He didn't forgive her but he did say he no longer blamed it for it. He still blamed himself, if Puck hadn't died for him, she wouldn't have been so insane to begin with. One thing he did do was encourage her to get help, signing her up for group support in the community. He couldn't undo the past, but she was still Puck's girl and he had to help her.

One final part of Rachel's experiments was talk. They talked about what pained them the most. She would recount very specific instances about how Jesse tortured her. He would tell her in turn how he was tortured. After two months their talks took another tone. She would tell him of her dreams and he would recount in happy reminiscence his crazy adventures with Puck. She had a laughing fit when he told her about that time Puck dressed in drag for the glee club. Or when he actually thought it was a good idea to take Quinn to see a box match. It was therapeutic, just to talk and be listened to every day. Six months passed with them trying to heal and they felt more alive than they had in years. Until one day.

* * *

Rachel as usual was waiting for him, dinner on the table ready for their talk. He came in with a broad smile, telling her about this squirrel he saw today and how it reminded him of her. His face dropped when he noticed she barely even registered what he said. He always listened to him, so something must have happened.

"Rach? Are you even listening?"

"What? Oh hi Finn, when did you enter?"

"I was just telling you about… never mind. What's in your mind?"

"I… sit down."

He sat on his chair, eyes focused intently on Rachel.

"Eat your food, it will get cold."

"Not until you tell me what's wrong."

"There's nothing wrong… exactly." She sighed. "My dads… or well, my dad. He… he met a classmate of him during the euro trip. Turns out this guy has a company in Belgium with a spot perfect for my dad… they thought about it and well, they want to stay in Europe. Belgium, to be precise."

"Oh, are you sad about that?"

"Honestly, Broadway life is so busy it doesn't matter if it's Ohio or Belgium, keeping in touch is difficult. I know it'd be selfish of me to ask them to stay since I've barely seen them once in eight months… at the hospital. I'm happy for them, I am."

"I know that look, there's more, isn't it?"

"My dads are worried about me. I can't keep lying to them; they don't understand why I took time or why I suddenly asked them not to tell Jesse anything about me. But… they do understand I'm in pain that I'm healing from something. They probably think its burn out syndrome or something like that… but they asked me to go with them for a while. They… they said no one knew my name in Belgium or my face, that I'd be a peace and that they really miss me."

"Do you want to go?" He felt his world become dimmer at the possibility.

"That's the problem. I do, but I don't. I miss my dads deeply and often wish I could be with them. But, I can't bear the thought of us being apart… not after all that progress… you know?"

"Rach, don't… don't say no to your dads. Before you say it, no I don't want you gone. Just, keep the option open. I'm not saying now, but maybe after we've healed you won't want to go back to Broadway immediately. Maybe…. You want to take a holiday and go with them. Don't close a door completely, it could be useful in the future."

"If I go to Belgium… would you come with me? As a holiday, you need one too you know?"

"Maybe, I guess it wouldn't suck to. How about I keep that option open too?"

"That's wonderful Finn. What would I do without your sage advice? Now eat, you don't have a microwave and re-heating it will ruin the taste!"

* * *

On Sundays in Lima, they usually left after lunch. That particular Sunday, Finn insisted on leaving right after breakfast, much to Rachel's surprise.

"Finn, why did we leave so early? Are you ok?" she asked once in the car.

"Yeah I'm fine Rach, don't worry. There's just somewhere I want to take you."

"Really? Where?"

"You'll see. Be patient, will you? For me?"

"If you ask so nicely, how could I ever refuse?"

"Awesome, we're almost there anyway."

"Is there time for a song?"

"Always."

They sang _Red Solo Cup_ much to their hilarity; Rachel's voice going low while trying to sing like a guy always cracked Finn up. When the car slowed down, she noticed how he went silent to the point of being completely stoic again. For the first months they met, that was his usual face. Nowadays he always looks more alive, more expressive. She wonders in silence where he's taking her until she sees a big plate that says "_Lima Cementery". _She guesses why or rather, who is here that he wants to see, but she doesn't understand exactly what he's up to just yet.

He takes her hand once they're out of the truck, silently leading her through many tombstones until they arrive to the one that says:

_Noah "Puck" Puckerman._  
_1994-2018_  
_Beloved brother, son and friend. _  
_Badass._

"Does it seriously say badass on his tomb?" Rachel asked a bit amused despite the seriousness of the situation.

"You'd be surprised, in his letter to his mom he explicitly said it should just say "Puck, Badass." But yeah…. Wasn't going to happen."

"Wow, he was quite unique, wasn't he?"

Finn chuckled. "You could say that. Anyway… I brought you here for two reasons. First, that because of you I'm here. I actually haven't been since the day I heard Quinn gave the baby for adoption. It's like… I can finally face him or something. The second is… well; I want my best friends to meet. If it sounds too weird or anything… it's ok… it's just that I…"

Rachel knelt in front of Puck's tomb, effectively shutting him up. "Hi Noah. No, I won't call you Puck… Noah is a perfectly good Jewish name so you better appreciate it. It's very nice to finally meet you; Finn has talked so much about you. While I don't condone tossing kids in the trash or anything like that, I can look past that, you know? You were always Finn's brother, you had his back… you got him into music and you ultimately saved his life. Years later, he saved mine. So thank you, thank you so much for that because otherwise I probably wouldn't be here today. One last thing. I want you, no _need _you to know I am _not_ trying to take your spot in Finn's life, rest assured no one ever will. But, I do have his back. So, wherever you are, you can have peace in knowing someone in this world does now that you are gone." She then proceeded to say a prayer in Hebrew, taking the moment in extreme seriousness.

Finn, on the other hand, was freaking out. He expected Rachel to just sit next to tomb, maybe even buy Puck flowers or say a prayer. When she started talking he didn't know where she was going. Actually he sort of thought it was silly to talk to a stone. But as she progressed each of her words seemed to fill a hole in his soul. She said that thanks to Puck's sacrifice, she was standing here today. He had been convinced for so long his best friend's ultimate sacrifice was not worthwhile… that he had done nothing to be the one who lived while Puck had a woman that loved him dearly pregnant with his child. Now, looking at Rachel he knows what she's saying is true. There's no doubt in his mind that her life is precious, worth saving and if he truly helped her, he needed to start thanking Puck rather than blaming him for not letting the enemy murder him. His heart did a cartwheel when she said she wasn't trying to take Puck's spot but had his back regardless. What had he done to deserve two unconditional friendships in his life, when many don't get any? Finn's head was a jumble of emotions that ultimately left him very agitated, as he had turned off his emotions for so long.

"T-that was beautiful Rach." He managed to stay when she finished her prayer.

"I… I hope you don't mind I took the liberty to talk to him?"

"No, what? Of course not… you're… wow. Puck is totally proud for getting a friend as awesome as you… even if you're chick."

She pinched his side. "Ouch! That's what _he_ would've said."

"But you didn't have to express it."

"Ok, ok… no more pinching ok? You're like… super strong."

"You're a big baby."

"I'm not. Look, since you've hurt me so, why don't you do me a favor and go to the car and get me my wallet? It's in the compartment of the door. I want to buy him some cool flowers before we go."

"Sure, can you give me your keys?"

He handed her the keys, watching her leave. He didn't actually want to buy flowers nor did he think there would be somewhere where he could. He wanted to talk to Puck, alone. Yeah he could've just told her that… but somehow it felt like it would hurt her so he didn't.

"Hey man… so you met Rach. She's quite the handful… I know. I'm sorry she calls you Noah, but I'm pretty sure you'd come to appreciate it. Anyway, I… sorry, ok man? Seriously. I didn't mean to… _you know_… with Quinn or what happened with Beth. I'm sorry, I am Puck but… like she said, if it weren't for everything I wouldn't have met Rachel. And… she's bringing me back to life… it's kinda awesome actually, to have someone that supports me as much as you did. I'm actually sure it's your sneaky way of helping me out, but it sounds totally crazy so shh. I promise I'll visit… I really miss you bro." He bumped his fist against the stone, tears shining in his eyes. Thankfully Rachel wasn't back yet… he could've said more but he knew Puck always understood him, even if his words weren't exactly clear.

* * *

**_Hope you enjoyed.  
Remember, whatever happens today... believe in the tether._**


	17. See you soon, darling

_**AN: I'm so sorry for not updating yesterday. Not only was I gutted from Thursday's episode but I had my wisdom tooth removed. All the meds made me quite loopy and well, you guys deserve the best chapter I can post, not something written and edited under meds!  
This chapter is a familiar painful finchel scene, with a twist.  
Again, thanks to everyone for your reviews. We're close to the end (about 4/5 chapters) and I hope the story continues to be enjoyable to you. **_

* * *

As the weeks kept passing, he noticed Rachel wasn't herself on Mondays. Coincidentally, it was the day she always spoke to her dads. He knew they were begging her to go to Belgium. He knew that she missed them dearly. Finn didn't want her to leave. She was this big light that flooded his otherwise empty, dark life. At the same time, he couldn't keep denying the feeling that she was no longer a broken girl. She hadn't healed completely, that was for sure. She might never. However, whatever he could do to heal her was already done. He was coming to accept the conclusion that she needed to move on. His job was done. Finn also knew she would never leave him, just like Puck never did. He didn't want to anchor her to his cabin in the middle of nowhere. She was a bright star that needed to shine. He finally knew what to do one Monday, but he couldn't go through with it until the following weekend.

When they drove to his parent's house, Finn made sure it was super early. He said Kurt and Blaine were getting to Lima for breakfast, and wanted to make sure they were there too. They set out for his home at three a.m. and as he expected, she immediately felt back asleep once in his truck.  
She only woke up when they arrived.

"Finn? Why are we at the airport? Are we picking up Kurt and Blaine?"

He couldn't respond. He was crying silently at her side just like he had been for the whole ride.

"Finn, what's wrong? Did something happen?"

"N-no… everything's fine Rach. Everything will be fine."

"You're scaring me."

"No, don't be scared." He got out an envelope from his jacket. "You're so brave Rachel. You're like… the bravest person I've ever met besides Puck. Months ago you were barely surviving… and now look at you. You're this bright star that somehow showed me the path home. But… Rach, I'm done. Not with you, but whatever I could do for you I have done already… you need to move on with your life. So… you're taking a plane in two hours to Belgium… first class. You need to be with your dads… heal with them."

"No" she sobbed hysterically. "I'm not well yet, Finn… I need you."

"And I need you… but not like this. I won't be that guy, you know? The one so selfish he doesn't let you go on when you have to. I want the best for you Rach."

"Then come with me! I feel so safe with you…. Finn, please."

"I… I have to take care of some things. I promise Rach, you won't lose me. Actually, I've got a present for you." He produced a box from the back seat. "It's a smartphone… it has an awesome roaming plan so we can keep in touch, I got one too. We can chat and text all the time. I even installed free messaging and camera interaction, so I'll be a call away, I swear. You're my only contact, so like... I would never not answer you. But, for now… you need to leave Rachel."

"Finn, as much as I appreciate your present… you do not understand me. I can't… I can't go without you."

"I know you hold on to things… but this is not the end of our friendship. You need to trust… trust your dads to help you… trust yourself to heal more… and trust me."

"I trust you with my life, you know that. Finn, that's why I need you."

He shook his head sadly. "That's why I can't go. You need to find yourself… discover who you are now without me to like… change that perception. I told you many times; I only want you to heal. And it's like… everything that could heal in the cabin already did. It's your turn now."

"Finn please, don't…."

"My family is at the airport, they want to hug you goodbye. You'll see us again, all of us… I'll be there when you need me and when you come back. We have to part ways for a little while… you need to be with your dads and I need to get my life back in order… Do it for me, please. Rachel, you need this. If you didn't I wouldn't let you go… you know how many times I've cried over this? I care about you so much, you're my best friend."

She snatched the envelope and the smartphone, stuffing them into her purse. He had packed for her a small bag with all the clothes Kurt gave her. It wasn't enough clothes but her dads would buy her some. He got out of the car, taking her bag out and then opening the door for her. Her silence was stony, cruel. Yes, she was pissed off at him and with reason. He lied to her and basically made her leave but it was for her own good… she had to know that, right?

In the airport she checked her bags and then met with his family. They sat with them to eat a crappy airport breakfast… he could swear the orange juice did not have an ounce of natural ingredients. They chatted amicably. Rachel never talked to him but she did cheerfully with his parents, brother and husband. Kurt even taught her how to use her new phone and added his number to keep in touch. When her flight was announced he wondered if she was going to leave the country without saying a word to him. She hugged his family and finally, looked at him in the eye.

"Finn, can we talk… privately?"

"Yeah, sure…" he turned around promising his mom to meet them at the house, that he had to do this alone. His family understood and left.

"We're alone now… Rachel, I'm so sorry."

"Don't!" she shrieked. Calming herself down, she lowered her voice. "Don't apologize. I… I get why you're doing this. What I don't get is why don't you come along. I don't understand why whatever you need to take care of, you can't do it with me. Finn, we… we healed together and now? It's like it didn't matter. I know that's not how you feel, but it is how I feel."

"Rach, please, don't say that. I promise you, this doesn't mean the end of our friendship. I told you, there's even an app that lets you videochat for free! It would be like having me there the whole time."

"No, it wouldn't Finn. Because you wouldn't be there. Your arms won't be there for me for when I feel like just crying the pain away."

"Your dads will be there. You'll see Rach. Why would you ever think, after everything we've been through, that I'd let my best friend high and dry?"

"That's just it!" she went back to yelling and Finn honestly had no idea why. "You… you keep calling me _that!"_

"What? My best friend?"

"Yes! Finn, sometimes you're a bit thick. I don't want to be your best friend!"

His world started trembling, crashing down. She didn't want him in her life anymore? He didn't see that coming. Rachel would never do that to him… she knew how much it would hurt him to lose her friendship right when he started seeing sense about being alive.

"Rach…"

"No Finn, shut up because you've said enough. Can't you see I can't do it? I can't go, leave you and come back to be your friend. I can barely be your friend anymore. Finn… you mean so much to me… you… not only healed me, but you opened my heart. I thought… I thought it was dead after what Jesse did. Like… I could never trust... or love again. But you… you made me trust you from day one. You didn't let my heart shrivel up… because of you I love again, and I love you."

"Y-you lo…love me?"

"And just to be clear, not as my best friend." She took a deep breath, looking straight into his eyes as she said, with conviction; "Finn Hudson, I adore you."

He must've looked like a fish out of the water, his mouth opening and closing in complete shock.

"Don't say anything, please. I'm going to give you two options. The first is that when I come back we never see each other again. The second is that when I come back, we will. But not as friends, Finn. As a couple. It's all or nothing Finn but if you're asking me to go, I can't come back to being just a friend. I can't handle being so close to you, to smell you and hear you without tasting and touching you. I can't handle you being there without being MINE. I want your hands on me, not just around me. I want you, all of you. So, you have however long I am gone to decide. Oh, and Finn? Until you do, please don't contact me. I love you, but it would simply hurt too damn much."

With that, she stood on her tiptoes to press a chaste, firm kiss right on his lips.

"Did you understand?"

He nodded. She left. She didn't even look back. By the tilt of her head he knew she was fighting the tears. He really wanted to go to her, hold her. But, he was too astounded by her confession. She loved him? When did that happen? _How_could she love him? He was nothing. A failed ex-soldier with nothing to show his worth. Nothing except her. Her smile, her heart. The way she shone naturally. Rachel was beautiful, kind, trustworthy and she made the best banana bread in the world. Heck, anything she did was perfect in his eyes.

It hit him like a ton of bricks. He had been so focused on how undeserving of having her in his life; he hadn't seen what was evident. He loved her. He loved everything about her from her soft, wavy hair to her dainty tiny hands. He loved her voice, her laugh and her naturally sweet scent. The best friend thing was just a label he put in fear of getting hurt. Why would a girl as amazing as her would love _him?_But she did, and he did too. Oh, he really did love her. He wanted to tell her now, run dramatically to her like in a cheesy movie, maybe spin her around, and tell her yes, he'd wait for her. They'd be together.

He couldn't do it in good conscience though. He _was_undeserving of her love, still. She deserved a man who could provide for her, who had a stable life. Not a hermit in a wood, but a real man. Fortunately, he knew what it took to become that. He turned around, calling Kurt to apologize as he approached a desk.

"Ma'am, excuse me? Could I get a ticket, the first one, to New York City?"

* * *

_**Hope you enjoyed :D**_

_**Next chapter will focus on Rachel in Belgium and a beloved character will be making a special appearance. From then, it's going to be a bit action-packed! :P  
BTW, if anything, Thursday reinforced my belief in the tether.**_


	18. Belgian Dreams

_**AN: I hope you're all having a lovely weekend. This chapter is a bit eerie, but I hope you like it :) Thanks again for your reviews and support, all of you put a huge smile on my face and it's for you I write this fic. **_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing  
**_

* * *

To say she wasn't enjoying Europe would be a blatant lie. Rachel really loved Belgium. She never gave thought of the little country until she lived there. Now, she can't imagine a best place to spend the holidays. The coffee, for example, was delicious. She quickly became addicted to vanilla lattes and pastries, excellent in any shop in Antwerp. She even traveled a bit. To the Netherlands, Germany, France… she felt like she was in one of those awesome summer movies. The only problem that plagued her mind was Finn. Or, rather, the lack of him.

She thought her ultimatum would compel him to follow her to Belgium or even anywhere in the world. She thought he loved her too. Rachel knew Finn could be a bit slow when it came to his own wants and feelings, but never _this _slow. The only silver lining about his lack of communication was just that. If he didn't want her in a more-than-friends way, he would have already let her know. Maybe he didn't want to ruin her holidays? Maybe she was yet another person in his life he dropped? No, she couldn't think that way. She had to hold on to hope. She had to believe that whenever she made her way back to the States, he'd be waiting for her… if she let herself think otherwise… she didn't know if she could make it. Two months without communicating were worrisome to say the least, but she knew she had to weather the storm… the very silent, obtuse, handsome storm.

She loathed admitting he'd been right. Her last weeks at the cabin made her so, so restless. She loved him, she did. But, she couldn't help wonder what it would be like to be with her parents again. She had missed them so much she almost forgot their little idiosyncrasies. Like the way they always burst into a random dance move at the strangest moments such as when doing the dishes. Or, how they made her star-shaped pancakes. Most of all, she had missed the unconditional love and care only parents can provide. Now, she had it and couldn't believe she hadn't appreciated it before. Of course, she didn't tell them about Jesse. She just… couldn't bring herself to turn the spark of love in her daddies' eyes into one of pity. She didn't need to either, she just told them some half-baked story of how her break-up with Jesse had been very tumultuous and thus needed space to reconsider where she was going with life. She actually didn't know what her next step would be. Rachel did feel that her time in Belgium was coming to an end. Yes, she had missed and loved her parents… but she wanted more. She wanted lights, applause, independence… and Finn.

Rachel sighed, no use in thinking of him. In her heart she prayed he would 'sort his stuff out' as he put it… she really wanted him to find his place in this world so he could find his place with her. She knew in her very soul her and him _needed_ to be together… then again she used to think she would never be in an abusive relationship. Clearly, the universe never works the way she thinks it will. So, for the time being, she decided to just let it do its thing. Putting her trust in the universe, Rachel Berry closed her eyes on a sunny summer night, falling into what she thought would be a dreamless sleep.

* * *

_Her eyes burned. Smoke twirled around her, lazily lifting. She was in a bar… no, more accurately a pub. She was sitting on a wooden stool, in front of a wooden bar with wooden walls all around her. Music posters of local bands were plastered all around, but she couldn't quite make out exactly what they advertised. The smell of stale beer flooded her senses. She tried to understand where she was… but to no avail. When the smoke lifted a bit more, she realized she was completely alone in the bar. Well, almost._

_On a (yes, wooden) stage sat a man, hunched around his acoustic guitar. She couldn't see him well. His voice started filling up the space, reverberating against every single corner of the wall. Instantly, she recognized the song he was playing… 'Sweet Caroline'. The man's rendition was eerily beautiful, almost ghostly in the sense that the vibrations of his voice seemed like ghostly pleas rather than being really there. She closed her eyes, enjoying the music for its beauty and his voice. After the song ended, she felt a presence behind her._

"_Berry."_

_She turned around. How did this man know her name? And what was up with the Mohawk on his head? He was looking at her mournfully with a glint of desperation in his voice._

"_My name is actually Rachel. Who are you and how exactly may I help you?"_

"You are quite feisty." He said appreciatively "And sneaky hot too. Damn, I bet you got an ass that just doesn't quit it, huh?"

"_Excuse me? Who do you think you are?"_

"_Doesn't matter."_

"_Well, I beg to differ. You know my name somehow and without even introducing yourself, you're saying very lewd inappropriate things about my derriere!"_

"_Whoa crazy train, who put a stick up you ass?"_

"_That's enough… I've had it with you. I was going to compliment you on a beautiful performance… but clearly, your attitude alone makes you utterly unworthy of any praise whatsoever."_

"_How do you even say all that without breathing?"_

"_If you must know, my pulmonary capacity is amazingly developed as it should be for any singer. Which clearly makes me wonder why I came here in the first place. All this smoke cannot be possibly good for me. It could even alter the way I belt out high notes."_

"_It won't." The man approached her even further, swinging his arm around her shoulder. "Look, my little Jewish American princess… forget about all that and just listen to me, ok?"_

"_Don't touch me! What's wrong with you? I don't even know your name!"_

_His grip didn't loosen. "I like you, you've got character. No wonder Hudson put up with your hot but high-maintenance ass for so long."_

"_Y-you know Finn?"_

"You could say that. Actually, that's what I wanted to talk to you about… but then you had to be so fucking uptight -"

"_I am not uptight!"_

"It's kinda cool actually… but you are. Now, will you listen to me or do I have to fucking mime?"

"_There's really no need for that terrible language."_

"_You can't stop me babe. Anyway, you need to find Finn… like now."_

"_Why would you even say that and why should I even listen to you?"_

"Don't listen to me. You have no reason to. But… Hudson is in danger and only you can help him."

"_Danger? What kind? Did a tree fall on him?" she scoffed, what possible danger could Finn ever encounter in his little cabin?_

"_Berry, didn't you listen when he said he was going to get his stuff sorted?"_

"_Yes, and I fail to see how such a task could possibly put in him in any sort of danger."_

"_For someone who claims to love him, you really don't know him, do you?"_

_She just looked at the man, pain increasingly filling his eyes._

_He groaned. "Fine, I'll spell it out to you from one Jew to the other. Finn was a fucking hermit until he met your flat-chested self. Now, he suddenly wants to live again. What the fuck do you think is his first step?"_

"_Apparently, it was putting me in an airplane to another __**continent**__ so he could… I don't know… balance his bank account?"_

"_Porcelain takes care of that, actually."_

"_I don't know… get a job? Reconnect with old friends?"_

"_Berry, you're clearly either not listening or you're insane. Scratch that, I'm pretty sure you're insane for falling in love with Hudson's pasty ass."_

"_I deeply disagree with you! Besides, Finn's ass is quite lovely if I may say so myself."_

"_That's right up the things I never wanted to hear… anyway. No. Finn changed because of you. Not changed actually, more like... went back to his old self. Being the idiot with a hero complex he is, the first thing he's gonna do is get __**your**__ stuff sorted."_

"_Exactly why he sent me to Belgium." She pointed out exasperated._

"_Nope, that's just to get you out of the way. See, in his heroism, he thinks he needs to solve all your fucking issues. However hot you may be, you got a lot of baggage."_

"_There's no issues to solve! Why would he think that? The only so-called baggage I have is in New York…" before she could finish, the man started nodding furiously._

"_You can't possibly mean he's there… what would he even do there?"_

"_Think about it hot cheeks."_

"_You mean… Finn went looking after __**Jesse**__?"_

"_We got a fucking winner. Check it out everybody! Jewish princess just got it right."_

"_Wait. No, he wouldn't even know where to find him!"_

"'_Cause it's totally hard looking for a famous person?"_

"_Oh."_

"_Yeah, oh. Now get your ass up and help him. He needs you Berry."_

"H-how could _**I**__ help him?"_

"You figure it out, my boy needs you and you better get out of your self-pity party. Go, find him. Oh… and Berry? If you get there on time, and you better fucking will, tell him… Iceman says hi."

_The man smiled forlornly vanishing, turning into the same smoke that initially clouded her eyes. She wanted to scream at him, tell him to wait, that she didn't understand. She couldn't. Not because whoever that rude stranger was had disappeared. It was because she knew he was right. In her heart, Rachel felt Finn was in danger… and she needed to get to him._

* * *

Rachel woke up from the dream covered in sweat, trembling in fear. She tried to tell herself it was just a creation of her mind… Finn couldn't possibly be in harm's way. Her heart argued back telling her she would never know for sure if she didn't see him. But where to start? Even if he was in New York, which she doubted him to be, it wasn't exactly a small city. If she only had someone that knew…. Wait. She did. Immediately, she pulled her cellphone to text the one person who might have some information about Finn's whereabouts. She didn't want to worry him though. So, she played it subtle.

**Hey Kurt! How's it going? :)**

She waited anxiously for him to text her back. He should, it's already about eleven in the morning in Chicago, the last place he told her he was in.

**Barbara! It's crazy around here. The windy city means a drastic change in my moisturizing routine! How are you?**

**I'm good. Actually, I needed to ask you a favor?**

**Name it and it's yours. Unless it's another awful Christmas sweater.**

**Hey! It wasn't awful and Finn had one too!**

**You're talking about a man that thinks its cool to wear puffy vests.**

**Fashion discussion aside, have you heard from Finn?**

**Haven't you?**

**We're not exactly talking at the moment…**

Damn… Kurt didn't know about that? Oh no, maybe he thought she was asking him to go behind Finn's back now to get information on him. While that was true, she doubted Kurt would if he thought that was the case.

**Let me guess, you're mad he sent you away?**

**Something like that. You didn't answer my question.**

**What do you want to know?**

She had to play it cool… she couldn't really say she felt Finn might be in trouble because that sounded quite insane.

**Oh, I wanted to send him a letter. Since it would not reach the cabin, I was wondering if I could send it to you to give it to him?**

**I can't possibly do that.**

**You could give it to Carole. Please Kurt, I'm sure he won't mind.**

**It's not that. He called Carole two months ago saying he wouldn't be going to family dinners for a while.**

**So he's in the cabin?**

**I don't think so. He said he needed to go somewhere for a while.**

**Oh, ok. Thanks Kurt, I'll figure something out.**

**If you do contact him, tell my obtuse brother to call me. I miss him.**

**Will do. Talk soon Kurt!**

So, he wasn't in the cabin and he hadn't been to his mom's in months? It could be him simply regressing to his old ways, using excuses to avoid seeing his family. But why would he? Could it be because she was gone and thus his incentive to see his family was gone too? She shook those thoughts. Finn would never have agreed to see his family so much if he hadn't been convinced he could do it. He would never go back on his word… he had healed so much. His disappearance didn't mean he was in New York though. Rachel really didn't want to text Finn, even if the number of the smartphone he got just to keep in touch with her was still in her contact list. But, if he texted back… it meant he was fine, right?

**Finn? It's Rachel. I know I said not to contact me, but… I just need to know you're fine. Are you?**

Yes, her message sounded needy and desperate but it was how she felt at the moment, she couldn't help it. She tried to go back to bed, cellphone by her side ready to react whenever he texted her back. But he didn't. Hours passed. She knew him… he would never not answer her. Not after his little silent stunt on her birthday all those months ago. She knew Finn had developed an aversion to ignoring her. The man's words echoed in her head…would Finn really try to take care of Jesse in her behalf? It wasn't really his problem. Then again, he was unreasonable when it came to her. He took everything so personally… she couldn't handle the doubt anymore. She needed to get to New York, fast.

* * *

_**Next Chapter we'll know for sure what Finn's been up to, which hasn't been all about ass-kicking at all and then some action-packed scenes.  
**_

_**Believe in tether dearies!**_


	19. New York, New York

**_AN: Loveliest readers, we're approaching the final leg of this story. But, worry not, this chapter is intense and action-packed though I must warn you there are some strong scenes and shocking language._**

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing  
_**

* * *

Finn took a deep breath before knocking the door. Months of planning reduced to this very moment. He had spent his time in New York settling everything for Rachel's eventual arrival. He got them an apartment with a view of Central Park. Money wasn't an issue for Finn, he hadn't really spent any of his military payments while in the army… actually besides buying necessary supplies he hadn't used any of the money he had been gaining since he was sixteen working at Burt's tire shop. He had saved everything with Puck so that when they were both done with their service they could move somewhere awesome and live large. He tried to give Puck's part to his mom, as they had a shared account, but she refused the money. She claimed Puck would want him to have it and she didn't really need it. So, the cash had amounted in his savings account gaining interest with years of non-use. Yeah, Finn didn't have to worry about affording the fancy New York apartment he knew Rachel wanted. What he did have to worry about was, you know, actually living in the city. To say it was different from his cabin would be the understatement of the year. The first week he was jumpy, sweating and completely paranoid. Eventually, his senses dulled all the loud New York noises… he got used to it if only because he knew it was the city Rachel was born to live in.

His second task was decorating the apartment. He had a small freak-out when trying to decide room allocation. He didn't want to like… assume Rachel would agree to share a room with him. Sure, she said she loved him but what if it was too soon? After all, she had been so traumatized she probably couldn't really handle it. The apartment had two floors and four rooms. He eventually compromised. He left the two master rooms for him and Rachel, both sparingly decorated with a simple King-sized bed, a dresser, nightstand and lamp. She could decorate it however she wanted to. One of the rooms he turned into a music room for Rachel, with a second-hand baby grand piano he repainted himself and mirrors on the wall for her dance practice. The other room was, of course, his library. He still had to get the books from the cabin. Actually, he didn't want to. If she changed her mind, she should still have the apartment. He could always go back to the cabin… he needed her permission to know if he could really move in.

His next step was to contact an old buddy. Actually, it was one of the man he supposedly saved so he figured he sort of owned him a favor even if he disagreed with the whole saving thing, his buddy didn't need to know that. He found Mike and just like he suspected, the guy had pursued his wish to enter the FBI. He was a detective there now. Without revealing any names, Finn told Mike about how someone close to him had been repeatedly abused by a man and he wanted justice. He had to find a way to nail that jackass without getting her involved because he didn't want to hurt her and he honestly doubted she'd go against her previous abuser without proof against him already. Mike told him that if he managed to get the guy to confess to his crimes then it would be the best proof. Then, her testimony would only reinforce the confession. If Finn managed, the asshole would face so much prison time he would never abuse anyone again. So, here he was. Thankfully, taping a recording machine to his chest was a thing of the 80's, now he could just use a little microphone to get the information he needed. He told himself he could do this, no, he needed to do this. For Rachel. With a sigh, he knocked on the door of the man that tortured the woman he loved for so long.

Finn heard shuffling, bolts being unlocked and then the door swung open.

"Yes? Oh… it's you. The soldier at the hospital. What the hell do you want?"

"Mr. St. James… I uh" _Crap he hadn't thought about this precise portion of the conversation. _

"I'm a very busy man, so if you could get to the point?"

"Yeah. Um… it's my grandma! Yeah, she's got some questions… for the Berry's. They're not home and… I was wondering if you knew how to get in touch with them?"

"So you decided to fly all the way to New York to ask me that?"

"No, I'm on break at the moment… won't be deployed for a while. I actually live in New York… and, you know, my grandma's birthday is coming up and it would be like… super cool if I could get her their numbers for it."

"I suppose I can help you. Come in, but I have more important matters to attend so don't get too comfortable."

Jesse St. James's apartment was… lavish. In the middle of the living room, on a fucking _stand_ stood his Tony award, illuminated by small lights. The rest was quite modern. Spare black leather furniture, marble counters and… glass tables. Just like the one Rachel fell on…. He even wondered if that was the same table. Rage flooded his veins; he just wanted to break the douche's smirk with his own fucking award. _Keep it cool Hudson, you need to do this for Rachel._

Jesse went through his contact list, grabbing a pen from a counter to write down the number for Finn.

"Here. That's their number, it's working. I would know, I talk to them daily."

"What's with the area code?"

"Oh, they're in Belgium. Living there."

"That's a shame… probably grandma won't be seeing them again."

"That's really not my problem… actually, I don't know your name."

"Hudson. Captain Hudson."

"Well, Captain… if that's all please see yourself out. Masterpieces don't compose themselves."

"Just one question, is Rachel with them?"

"No, she's… wait how do you know her name? When we met you said you weren't aware they had a daughter."

"Oh, I know more than her name. For example, I know she bakes the best banana bread in the world."

Jesse looked at him completely silent, a dangerous glint on his eyes.

"And how would you know that?"

"It's the kind of thing you learn when you live with someone for a little under a year, Mr. St. James."

Jesse scoffed impatiently. "That's impossible. My Rachel would never live with such a simple man when she has me. I mean, look at you. You look like you're constipated all the time."

"While that might be true, how else would I know she has a scar right on her hipbone? Or that her favorite musical is _Funny Girl, _or that she calls her fathers Papa and Daddy… or -"

"THAT'S ENOUGH" roared Jesse. "YOU WILL TELL ME WHERE THAT LITTLE SLUT IS RIGHT NOW."

"Not gonna happen. I'm going to give you an option. I know what you did to her. If you turn yourself to the police, I won't say anything."

"Like anyone would believe a nobody over me."

"Doesn't matter, does it? If the press finds out… your reputation would be so fucked you wouldn't be able to compose anything again."

"You think you're so smart, don't you?" Jesse smirked at Finn, completely confident in himself. "Look, this is what is going to happen. You're going to tell me where Rachel is… you don't seem to understand a very simple fact so let me explain it to you. She's mine, she'll always be mine."

"I really don't think so."

"So what? The dumb whore thinks she can escape me forever? I'll find her, even if I have to kill one of her fucking fathers so she'll have to go to the funeral. Those two are a disgrace to humanity anyway, who do they think they are, boasting their unnatural relationship?"

"So it was you who had Mr. Berry attacked then?"

"That fucking faggot got what he deserved."

Finn _really_ wanted to punch the asshole in front of him, but first, he needed Jesse to confess to _all _of his crimes.

"What's wrong with you? He's the father of the woman you claim to love."

"Are you deaf? When I say Rachel is mine, I meant it. As in, only mine. Her parents and friends and even you are inconsequential because at the end of the day Rachel Berry belongs to me. Now, I'm running out of patience. So tell me where the fuck she is."

"How can you think like that? How can you expect her to love you back? You've only hurt her, through so many years. You honestly think she doesn't hate your very existence?"

"SHUT UP" Jesse yelled. "Of course she loves me. I made her the star she is and she owes me _everything._ Every applause, every standing ovation was my creation. Now, I'm tired of asking nicely but I'll try one more time. Obviously, you're too thick-headed to get it. She's mine, so where is she?"

"How could she owe you anything? You broke her… she might never mend, you know? I doubt you care, but you should really wake up. If you think that after everything you did she's going to come back to you -"

"I SAID SHUT UP." In a flash and out of nowhere, Jesse pulled out a gun, aiming it at Finn. Now, he had already been prepared for a fight. An _unarmed_ fight. Rachel had never mentioned Jesse owning weapons. It was the second time he had a barrel pointed at his face, but this time he was calm. His microphone transmitted the recording directly to his laptop. If anything happened to him or if he disappeared, Mike would check the apartment, find the recording and convict Jesse for murder. But he wanted more. He didn't want this asshole to rot in jail for ending his life. No. He wanted him to rot in jail for what he did to Rachel. Finn was calm, he had to be. His last task was to get a confession out of St. Jerkface so he couldn't panic. If he could get him to confess… he wouldn't die in vain.

"Now, one more time, where is she?"

"I won't tell you. Over my dead body."

"In case you haven't noticed, that's becoming quite the possibility."

"Tell me, do your get your kicks from threatening other people? Is that why you hurt Rachel, to see her suffer?"

Jesse didn't respond, he aimed the gun lower and shot Finn on the leg without a second thought..

"Again, where is Rachel?"

"I'd rather die than tell you. Why would I? So she can die because of you?"

"You're really stupid, aren't you? I would never let that whore die, she's a cash cow on stage."

"Is that…" Finn could barely breathe from the pain. "Is that why you did it all? For your fame?"

"Since you're so hellbent on being so completely moronic, I'll tell you. I'll tell you so you can know as you die. If you won't tell me where she is, it doesn't matter. I'll find her eventually… but you won't. You seem to care a lot about her Captain." Jesse said maliciously, venom dripping with each word.

"I love her." He had to stay alive… Jesse was about to confess… if he managed… it would be worth it. She'd be free and… healed.

"Oh how sweet, the retarded loser G.I Joe fell for the Broadway babe. A bit out of your league, don't you think oaf?"

"She- she loves me back. Like she never loved you."

"You think she's able to _love you?_ Need you? Maybe. But love you? Believe me, I made sure she can't love anyone."

"W-what makes you so sure?" Finn spat, he could feel his blood draining fast.

"You know the first time I had her… she was a virgin? Oh, man. She was so fucking tight. Seriously, that cunt dripped blood… she was so tight my dick actually hurt. You know, sometimes I used to fuck her while breaking eggs on her tits. She's a vegan, did you know that?"

"You fucking asshole."

"I heard her, sometimes, mumbling in her sleep about baby chickens. It was great. I loved waking her up by licking her tears. She thinks she's so innocent but she's a whore. She enjoyed it. You might call it rape, but it wasn't! Oh how the bitch moaned when I rode her until her cunt bled. Sometimes, I'd even bite her nipples too… so hard I'm pretty sure they have scar tissue by now."

"How could you?" Finn gasped

"Isn't it obvious? She had to be mine… she was so fucking innocent when we met. I knew I had to break her, mold her into my star… and I did. She was so glorious on stage; her voice is the only fucking worthwhile thing she has. Otherwise, I would've choked her too. But… I had to make to with her slut pussy and bruising her. The best Rachel is a purple Rachel."

Finn couldn't handle it anymore. Jesse's spiteful words were killing him faster than his bullet wound. He couldn't bear the thought of his poor broken girl abused by this douchebag.

"Anyway, enough talking. Before you die, I'll ask you one more time. Where. Is. She?"

Finn would have rather died before giving Rachel's location away. He had the recording and with his death on tape… this asshole wouldn't be free for long. He had accomplished what he came for. The only regret he had was never telling Rachel that he loved her too. He wished she would conclude that from his actions. He hoped she would move on, that his death would bring her peace. That his sacrifice pushed her into being the amazing star he knows she is. He was about to tell St. Sucks to fuck himself, he was about to prepare for death when he heard the one voice he didn't want to hear at the moment but missed so much.

"I'm right here, Jesse."

* * *

With the gun still pointed firmly at firm, Jesse turned around to see Rachel in all her glory. She was alone, looking at him with a radiant smile completely ignoring the falling soldier.

"Rachel" he whispered in awe. "You came back."

"Of course I did Jesse. Where else would I go if not back to your arms?"

"How do I know you're not lying?"

"Why else would I be here, love? I… I'm sorry I left. I really am… I just… I thought I couldn't take it anymore. But living without you? That's the worst torture I've ever endured."

"Rach." Finn spoke brokenly. "What…"

"Oh Finn. It was fun while it lasted… but did you honestly think I loved you? I just used you. After all, I needed a place to stay." She turned to Jesse. "Now, love. Put down your gun… why would you risk our lives together by killing this man?"

Jesse's hold of the weapon didn't hesitate.

"How do I know you're saying the truth, you dumb bitch? You left me and lived with this t-rex and now I'm supposed to believe you just want him spared for _us?_ Do you think I'm that stupid?"

"Never. Jesse, baby, I'm here for you. Will you take me back? Forget about him, about the past… only our future matters."

"If you mean it, then it doesn't really matter if I kill this piece of shit army officer, does it?" he smirked evilly

"Jesse… he's not worth it."

"Oh but he is. He _lied_ to me… he told me he didn't know you existed. He needs to die."

Rachel couldn't hold back the tears anymore. "Ple-please baby, don't. Let him go, he'll never say anything and who would believe him? Take me, please take me… let him go please."

"You must be really excited to see me to cry like that. You know what? It makes sense… not killing him." Rachel let out a sigh of relief. "But… then again. When have I ever listened to you?"

Jesse re-aimed his gun directly at Finn's heart.

"Well, Captain Hudson this is when you die. And now you can know that when you do, Rachel will be mine."

"No!" she yelled, putting herself in front of Jesse's gun. "Jesse. Please. I know you don't want to kill me. If he dies… you will. Please, just take me. Let him go."

Jesse paled. "So you really _do_ love him?"

"Yes… I do."

"Why? What does he have that I don't? I raised you to greatness you ungrateful bitch!" he used the side of his gun to hit her head, knocking her to her feet. "You were supposed to love _me_! You know what? I don't think I have any use for you anymore." He aimed his gun at Rachel's head.

"I'm sorry, kill me if you want to… let him go. It's not his fault." She continued begging, not for _her_ life but his.

Finn felt his body fill with adrenaline, the pain in his leg forgotten. This was the second time in his life someone he loved was willing to die for him. The second time someone had pointed a gun at him only to later point it to someone close to him. He knew that if Rachel did this and he survived… no cabin would give him peace. Nothing would… only death. He slowly raised himself up, not even registering the hiss of protest in his nervous system from his leg. Just when Jesse was ready to pull the trigger, he ran towards them, ready to take that bullet as he managed to yell.

"Rach, RUN!"

He pushed her out of the way, feeling the bullet hit him… all of the world started spinning but he remained conscious to see the immediate havoc that ensued. Just as the shot rang, men flooded the apartment. Finn heard a vaguely familiar voice.

"Jesse St. James, put your gun down. You're surrounded, there's no way out."

Finn heard a drop, a clink of metal on marble… he kept hearing voices, especially Rachel's. She was sobbing at his side, telling him to hang on. Everything started to turn black… he couldn't stay awake anymore everything hurt so much. Had Puck gone through this much pain? He really hoped his friend had a quick death… at least now, they'd be reunited. He now knew Rachel was safe… somehow the police got here on time… she'd be fine. She can live now… and he can join Puck. Maybe they can rock out wherever he's going, reliving their glory days.

* * *

**_The action happened, sorry if the language was offensive and sorry for the cliffie :P Next chapter will be up soon, so the aftermath of it all can be clear._**

**_Believe in the tether and virtual cake for your support (unless you can't eat cake, then virtual whatever-your-favorite-dish-is for you :D )  
_**


	20. Wakey

_**AN: So, I present you with the second to last chapter before the epilogue. Words can't express how humbled I am for your reviews, comments and reactions... you guys are not only the best, but you keep that amazing Finchel hope alive. I hope you enjoy, even though there's a bit of angst.**_

* * *

Black, everything was black. Once he had read the color black didn't actually exist it was just really dark blue or like, lack of light or something. He wasn't completely sure if that was true or whether scientists knew their stuff as well as they thought they did because holy crap everything was black. He was floating around blackness and couldn't seem to shake it off. The only thing that seemed real was a constant beeping around him that gave his existence, if you could call it that, a meaning or a beat. Like a drum pumping out a beat to keep life going, yeah, like drumming from his heart. Wait, the beep… it was his heart wasn't it? He was in a hospital? How did that ever happen? And why was everything so black? Weren't people supposed to like, see their bodies or dream about something? The only thing he heard was that damned beep.

"Finn, baby… wake up please."

A voice flooded the darkness illuminating it with a bright white shinning light. He knew that voice… his heart yearned for that voice. He could feel energy tingling within his very soul. Anxiousness took over. _He had to get to the voice one way or another._ He focused on its sweet singing quality, the way it made his spirit lighter. That was his goal, to reach that voice and he had no idea how to do it. A flash of a memory swept by. His drill sergeant told him once that in order to really focus on something, your mind needs to be blank. How could his mind be blank if everything was black? Still, he had to try.

He imagined white… like a crisp white paper with nothing written on it waiting patiently to be given meaning to. White not black, white was good, white was the voice he needed to reach. Crap, he was thinking again. No that wasn't good. He needed to visualize the white. He swore he never thought so hard but slowly, oh so slowly, he started feeling whole again. He felt his fingertips and his toes tingling. His focus went to his eyes. He had to open them somehow but it felt like trying to pry open elevator doors with no grip whatsoever. He had to try… He could feel them trembling and slowly opening even if he only managed to open them half-way through.  
As soon as his eyes opened it was as if his brain had been electrocuted. Gone was the peaceful black void of nothingness and now all he could feel was pain. He felt drained, weak and his leg and shoulder throbbed in agony.

"Urrrgh" was the only thing he could muster saying, a low painful groan. We wanted to sleep, he did, but his throat felt like sand and his lips burned.

"Finn!" yelled the voice, suddenly coming into view. Soft skin, long brown hair, wide eyes… _Rachel._ He had heard life flashes before your eyes as you die, he honestly couldn't remember that part. No one had mentioned it also flashes when you regain consciousness from being shot. He saw all of it until its beautiful end, when he met the girl who saved his life.

"..'ach" he coughed.

"Shhh Finn, don't say anything. I'm going to get you some water." In an instant she was by his side again, wielding a glass of water with a yellow straw in front of him. "Drink up, the doctor's said you'd be hoarse when you wake, so you need to moisten your throat."

He let the straw push through his lips and sucked a little bit. He had never known water to be so refreshing, soothing and basically an elixir for his achy throat.

"Rach…" he managed to say. "What? How?"

"Finn, we can talk later. Now, I need to call the doctors so they can run some tests for you and contact some other people."

"Who?"

"Your family is here Finn, of course they are, you _were shot twice_ so, you know… they're in the cafeteria I think… just wait. Please."

He nodded completely confused. So many questions needed answers but right now Rachel was asking him to wait and he knew he'd wait forever if she only asked…. So he waited.

Not even a minute after she left a veritable army of doctors swarmed his room to prod and pinch him, asking him weird questions like who was the president or what year they were in. You'd think he fell from an airplane straight on his head rather than getting shot but he guessed they needed to make sure he was fine after apparently sleeping for three days in a row. He felt fine and from what the doctors told him: Jesse's aim seriously sucked. The bullet on his shoulder made a straight path, yeah he lost some blood but nothing major broke. His calf got the first bullet; he had needed surgery but was fine too. So, besides little physical therapy exercises he would recover fully in a short while.

After the doctors left he thought he finally would have time with Rachel and technically he did. He had time with Rachel, Kurt, Blaine, his mom and Burt. Not that he didn't love seeing his family and all but it was a really small hospital room and he still had issues with being around loads of people. He had never really admitted it but his family felt empty without Puck. He had been so present in the Hudmel household that whenever someone said anything that could be thought of in a naughty way, they always paused for a second, as if Puck would materialize himself just to say "that's what she said." Sure, bearing it during weekends had been fine because he controlled the interactions and could easily escape with Rachel to anywhere in town. But being in a hospital bed was freaking him out because he had no control of all the people. Luckily, his mom still knew him better than anybody and by the second day she ordered a maximum of two people in the room. Much to his delight, Rachel was always one of those people because the tiny brunette simply refused to leave his bedside.

Before he knew it, his week long stay in the hospital was done and his family had gone, leaving him and Rachel alone in New York, finally.

"What's taking so long?"

"Finn, relax. The doctor is just signing your discharge. They have to make sure everything's in order with you to let you leave. I swear it's like you forget that you were shot _twice_ and lost loads of blood."

"I'm not forgetting… I'm just… sick of this place, you know?"

"Yeah, I know. By the way you should talk to your doctor to get you your physical therapy specifications or get his number."

"Why?"

"Because Finn! We need to research a hospital near the cabin with the necessary equipment and doctors for your therapy to be fulfilled."

"That won't be necessary Rach."

"Yes it will! You took two bullets for me and I'll be damned if you're not back to your old self in terms of physical ability. We could even do exercises to make the process go faster of course I'll have to supervise it and pre-approve them with your doctor-"

"Whoa, Rach…slow down with the crazy train. I'm fine, I'll complete the therapy. But, you're not going anywhere. Specially the cabin."

"Finn Christopher Hudson if for one second you think I'm going to abandon you after everything-"

"Rach, it's cool. Look, we need to talk about this but not here, okay? Let's go to central park and just like… talk. Ok?"

Rachel looked down biting her lip. He knew she was nervous, she probably thought he was going to leave her in the city while he went back to his hermit ways. He didn't deny that could be a possibility but it really all depended on her. The doctor finally arrived and he even asked for his number, just to keep Rachel quiet on that front. As soon as he was told to leave, he walked as fast as he could with an injured leg to the hospital doors, enjoying the smell of the city even if it was kind of gross because of the smog; it was much better that the hospital's stale smell. They hailed a cab neither of them speaking for the whole ride to the park. They got there after a while; luckily the driver dropped them off not too far away from the apartment.

"So…. Where in the park do you want to go?" asked Rachel.

"Actually, there's something I kinda wanted to show you" he replied nervously rubbing his neck.

"Oh?"

"Just… just follow me. I swear, it's ok."

She walked next to him, silently agreeing to his request. After a couple of blocks they finally arrived to the building where Steven, the doorman, waited.

"Mr. Hudson! It's good to finally see you!"

"You too Steven, may I introduce to you to Miss Rachel Berry?"

Rachel closed her mouth, which until then had been hanging from trying to understand what was going on. Was he a friend of Finn's? She's never heard of him but maybe they're new friends? Or, maybe Finn knows someone in this building? Maybe that FBI officer lived here?

"Ah, it's a pleasure to finally meet you ma'am."

"Oh…. Yes. It's nice to meet you to Steven."

Steven beamed at them, moving deftly to open the door for them. Finn thanked him as they walked through the lobby. They took the elevator to the apartment and he could almost see Rachel's mind working over time to try and figure out what the hell they were doing in this fancy building. He correctly guessed she would never suspect he bought an apartment so it would be kind of cool when the concept finally registered.

The elevators door opened, revealing a small hallway that led directly to the living room. Finn started walking but Rachel stayed put.

"Finn" she whispered "Are you just going to barge in?"

"Something like that." He grinned, "Come here." His large hand extended towards her, asking her to take it. She did, hesitantly and followed him all the way to the couch.

"Finn what is this place? Do you have a friend that lives here?"

"Something like that."

"I don't understand."

"Rach, this place? I bought it." She gasped loudly, "for you."

She didn't react, just kept staring at him. "Let's face it, you belong in New York. Not in some cabin in a long forgotten wood with me. Now that Jesse's going to rot in prison I figured you needed somewhere to start anew."

Tears fell from her eyes. "Whoa, what's wrong? You don't like it? You can like… decorate it however you want… even rent it out if you don't like it or sell it."  
"It… It's not that. Finn… I… thank you, so so much for this. But… I don't want to live here. I get it, now that my tormenter is locked away forever you think I need to be here but are you so determined to have me out of your life that putting me in a plane wasn't enough? Now you bought me a stupidly expensive apartment so you can… what? Go back to the cabin patting yourself on the back for a job well done?"

"I don't believe you Rachel. This is just…"

"Just what Finn? Exactly what you wanted?" she yelled at him.

"No!" he yelled back, choking on the pain. "Rachel. I bought this apartment with the hopes we could _both_ live in it, like we did in the cabin. I was ready to move in here, with you, trying to figure out my future while you retook your life. I actually hoped we could… I don't know… be together in the city. Us against the world. But…. You know how it hurts every time you doubt me? How could you… how could you even think I'd ever want to get rid of you? I can't! you're like… in my heart or something but clearly you don't care for me as much as you said you did if you don't believe in me_."_

"Finn… I'm sorry I thought-"

"You thought I wanted to get rid of you… and I thought you knew me, better than anyone. I… I guess I was wrong. I was an idiot for thinking we could do this. Keep the apartment ok? I… I'll go back to the cabin or something…"

"Finn, wait. I'm sorry I didn't think, I just never imagined you were ready for that step… and… don't go."

"Why shouldn't I go? Why should I stay with someone who probably thinks I can't be trusted even if I trust you with everything? I don't know if I can do that."  
"I…"

"I need to think. Just… some fresh air. Stay, rest… I'm going for a walk. Ok?"

"Finn you're injured you need to rest, can we talk about this? Please?"

He shook his head sadly, going towards the elevator. He needed time to think.


	21. Ch-ch-changes

_**AN: Here it is, last chapter before the epilogue. To all of those who commented on Finn walking out last chapter, I think I did it because he's the kind of character who needs time on his own to just process under a situation he can't understand or when he's wounded. Not that he's stupid or anything, he just needs the silence no filter out external noise plus, with everything and the cabin, he's really not used to gauging people's reaction, yet sorry if his actions offended you.**_

_**Anyway, I'm running out of ways to thank you all but know, from the depth of my heart, I do immensely and I am polishing that epilogue to give this story justice. Enjoy.  
**_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing  
**_

* * *

Rachel wandered around the apartment, _her _apartment miserably. Her heart broke when she saw the music room, obviously designed for her along with the most gorgeous baby grand piano she had ever seen. When she entered one of the bedrooms she knew it was Finn's from the clothes around it and the pervading smell of him in every corner of the room. That's when her heart broke. He really meant it, didn't he? He did want to live with her and she blew it by doubting him yet again. She hoped he'd come back soon, after all being on the streets with two wounds like his could not possibly be good for him. Plus, he hadn't actually said anything about them… she didn't care about her ultimatum anymore. If she was destined to live as Finn Hudson's roomie for the rest of her life so be it, she could not possibly live without him though that seemed like a daunting possibility after her recent screw-up. Uncertainty was about to overwhelm her, so she laid on Finn's bed, hugging his pillow tightly to get as much of his smell as she could. Eventually, her tears, exhaustion and doubt led her to sleep and of course, dream of him.

"Rach?"

She heard Finn's voice. She thought it was part of her dream but what certainly wasn't a dream was the gentle shaking of her shoulders. She opened her eyes to see Finn hovering over her.

"Finn? You… you came back." She smiled.

"Of course I did Rach. I'm sorry, I just... needed a second there to think" She sat up on the bed, staring at him, waiting for his next move.

"You know, I never answered you." He said after a while.

"What?"

He shrugged and before she knew what was going on, his lips crashed on hers. His large hand cupped her cheek tenderly as their mouths moved in a slow, passionate rhythm. She felt his tongue swiping over her bottom lip and she just opened her mouth to allow it in, their tongues meeting halfway and battling each other. Their lungs were on fire, exhausted from the sheer feeling of their intense kiss. Eventually, they had to part.

"What does that mean, Finn?"

"It means that I love you Rachel. It means that I want to live with you, share a life with you, be for you when you need me and love you like you deserve in the city of your dreams. It means that you might doubt me now, but that's okay, you know? Let's face it, we're both messed up and have issues and yeah, sometimes we'll close off, say or do stupid things. You need to know that doesn't mean I want you anywhere but with me and I'll make damn sure to prove to you every single waking moment that I want you…. If you'll have me."

She really thought her face was going to rip apart from how much she was smiling, she couldn't even muster a response. She jumped him and told him how much she loved him with a kiss.

"So, I guess that means you will have me?" he chuckled.

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

* * *

After establishing their new found relationship, Finn insisted on going out to celebrate with a nice dinner.

"Okay, so I called Sardi's and they have a spot for us at eight."

"Finn! While I love Sardis I can't possibly go… I only have like three changes of clothes with me the rest is still in Belgium."

"Good thing we're going shopping then."

"You know… you need to stop spoiling me like this."

He sat next to her and kissed her cheek. "Nope, I love doing it. Besides now you can actually use your credit cards and money so you won't depend on me anymore this is just me spoiling my girl."

"I like the sound of that." She giggled. "Your girl. That's means you're my man and I love you so."

"Did you just quote Barbara?"

"Maybe" she grinned.

"You're such a geek." He teased. "Now come on, you're going to 5th to get a stunning dress."

"You're not coming with?"

"Nope. You're going with Kurt."

"I thought he left?"

"Nah he's staying a week here to check out possible places for opening one of his stores."

"Finn that's so wonderful for him."

"I know, now come on. He'll be here any minute and you still have bed hair."

She took off like lighting, trying to get herself fixed. She was adorable and now she was his… he hadn't felt happy like that in a long time… or maybe even ever.

At seven thirty she appeared on his doorway, clad in a gorgeous wine colored dress that pushed her boobs up and flowed above her knees. She looked perfect, refined, and classy.

"Whoa" he muttered. "You're gorgeous."

"And you don't look bad yourself, seriously. Your tux is… wow." He grinned at her compliment, blushing slightly.

"Are you ready then, Miss Berry?"

* * *

At the restaurant they started their meals which small talk, keeping it quite superficial and light until Finn spoke up about the thoughts plaguing his mind.

"Rach… are you sure you want to live with me? I love you but if you need space I understand. I can like, rent somewhere close and we'd still see each other."

"Finn, don't be silly. I… I can't live without you. It's hard, it was so hard in Belgium because living with you it's just so… natural. The only move you have to think about is of rooms. You're my boyfriend now and as such, I want you on my bed not in the room next door."

"But… are you sure? I mean, are you ready for that?"

"I'm not saying I'm ready for sex…but for sleeping with you? Yes. There's no place I love more than your arms."

He grinned like a fool. "I really love you, you know that?"

"You better, I did save your life after all…" she said jokingly, not expecting him to grimace.

"Why did you do that by the way? Like…. You put yourself in danger for me and I get you did it because you love me because I would have done the same for you without thinking it twice… but why or, how did you know when to appear? And, how did you even get the police involved?"

"Well, I called you when I got here over and over again… eventually your friend Mike answered and I took it from there."

He face palmed. "I'm such an idiot. Rach, you could've died for what you did and if I hadn't left my phone at Mike's-"

"Then you'd be dead and I'd be heartbroken beyond repair, so you better don't blame yourself for anything Hudson, because otherwise we wouldn't be here, together."

"It's just… I don't get it. It's like you were made to save me… first my heart and then like… my actual life you know? Like, how did you even know when to fly back? Or where to go?"

"You're going to think I'm insane."

"Try me."

He sat mutely as she told him the dream. She told him about the smoky bar, the song, the man, what he said… every single details of it had been ingrained so deeply in her mind she didn't miss one thing in her retelling. By the time she was done she had expected Finn to look at her weirdly or laugh at her or make a joke, maybe even to tell her she needed a therapist. She hadn't expected him to go deathly pale or, worse, to stop eating.

"Finn? What's wrong? I know it sounds weird but I guess I felt you were in danger and created that dream to warn myself… it's no big deal."

"No big deal?" he said in a really high pitch. "Rach, that man? It was Puck. You dreamt of Puck."

"Oh wow, I mean… I only ever saw him that once at nationals but I guess my subconscious remembered him."

"Rach… when Kurt showed you those videos… was Puck in them?"

"No… now that I think about it they were of just you doing solos… why?"

"Because… Rach. There's no way you can know Puck had a Mohawk… he shaved it for nationals so you can't possibly remember that."

"Oh" she thought for a moment, "maybe you mentioned it? I'm sure it's just a freaky coincidence."

"Did you know Kurt balances my bank accounts?"

"No."

"Exactly. And it's not just that. Only Puck ever called Kurt Petunia, after the pig you know? Like, Kurt would never tell you that and I honestly forgot about it. Also, 'Sweet Caroline'? That's the song he used to get Quinn to go out on a date with him. And… fuck, Rach… that bar sounds exactly like the one we went to in the last break we had… and the whole iceman thing? Rach… look… once Puck and I got into a huge fight, and I mean I thought our friendship was done for good, because he refused to stop bullying people at school and I was trying to change that… it took months for him to come to his senses but when he did, he apologized which he never, ever did… and said we were like Maverick and Iceman… it was our favorite movie growing up… the only other time he repeated that was the day we went into what would be his last mission…. I…"

"Finn… I don't know what to say."

"The way he talked, he acted… it was Puck. You didn't dream of him. That motherfucker couldn't be happy with giving up his life for mine he almost made you give up yours. Rach, I wouldn't have been able to handle that." Tears shone in his eyes.

"Finn, I believe you. I believe it was Noah but I don't believe he wanted me to die for you. You need to see that your friendship was so strong that even after death he has your back."

"Why now Rach? Why not appear during the four fucking years I spent begging for his forgiveness?"

"Maybe he knew you'd recover… I don't know. What I do know is that I'm going to put flowers every time I can on his grave. I know I'll forever be grateful to him, for saving you twice so _we _can have our life together. Most importantly, I know I'm honored… if he came to me to help you then even he knows how much I love you, that you have me unconditionally too… it's like him saying he approves, you know? And… that's important for me."

His eyes softened into a barely there soft smile. His gaze was heavy on her and it made her slightly uncomfortable.

"Finn? Did I say something wrong?"

"No, no babe…. It's just…. I really love you, you know? And like… I didn't know I could love a person this much… but I do and it's awesome and you're totally right. I shouldn't focus on why Puck appeared or not, but that he did… that he approves of you though I knew that from the start, I told you he liked badasses."

"Then why are you so weird?"

"Because, everything just became so real. Like, I'm moving on. Don't get me wrong, we've been working towards that for so long, it's just it finally sunk in. I'm here now, with you… and our future is wide open. That's why it hurt so much when you doubted me… cause like, made me wonder if you were ready to take that step with me."

Her heart felt like goo, her legs shaky. "Finn, you need to understand. For years, Jesse made sure to tell me how worthless I am… how no one could possibly love me. Even before, at school I was just appreciated for my talent, but I didn't really have friends… just my dad. It's mind-boggling, really, for me to think that a gorgeous, strong, perfect man would love me as much as I love you. At the risk of sounding cliché, it's not you, it's me."

He grasped her tiny hands within his, softly rubbing her knuckles. "Yeah, I figured it had something to do with that asshole. I hate him, you know? Like… you're an angel Rachel Berry and the one who doesn't deserve this is me. But you love me… and I love you… and today when I went for that walk I finally knew what the last step I need to take is."

She just looked at him nervously.

"I… look Rach. Living with you has been so amazing. I never thought I would want anything but solitude and the woods but you came into my life and literally shone a light in the deep dark cave I was in, getting me out step by step. I never want to be without you again and most importantly, I don't ever want you to think I want anyone else but you. I… as long as you let me love you, I'll be fine… so… I went through this little shop… and…"

Finn knelt on the ground, taking out a soft velvet box. Inside was a white gold infinity loop, with a star-shaped diamond in the middle.

"Rachel Berry… will you marry me?"

She could barely get the words out. "Finn… I…"

"Not like, right now… I was thinking of a long engagement actually… but this ring? It symbolizes where we're heading because let's face it Rach, there's no one else for me. It'd be like our little reminder and…. I was thinking… how about we get married when you're like really ready for… you know? Like, I want our wedding night to be perfect, pure… and what better way than to have our first time that day? Like, join in every way possible... except for my heart since that's yours already. So… what do you say?... 'cause your silence is totally freaking me out. Will you marry me, you know, eventually?"

"Girl just say yes, look at him he's cute!" a patron called out.

"Finn… I… yes, of course I'll marry you!"

"Really babe?"

"Really." She allowed him to slip the ring on her finger, marveling at how _perfect _it was. "I'm yours, Finn Hudson."


	22. Epilogue

_**AN: Here it is, the epilogue. I hope I did it justice and that you all enjoy it. Thank you so much for reading, reviewing and hanging on to this story.**_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing  
**_

* * *

If you had told him two years ago Cabin Fever was something he wouldn't look forward to, he would have thought you're crazy. Actually, the thought would have never even crossed his mind because there was no one in his life back then to tell him so. A year after moving into New York made Finn Hudson fear he'd ever go through Cabin Fever.

Rachel had gone back to school. It was kind of weird, seeing as how she had already been Broadway but she was determined to have a college degree and he could not help but support her. She still sang on the stage, mostly joining summer productions so that it wouldn't interfere with her studies. Talks of a Tony were abundant and she couldn't be happier. He had struggled at first with what he wanted to do until one day he figured it out, thanks to Rachel of course.

He had been feeling low, his girlfriend was succeeding so much and he was just a loser roaming around the city trying to figure out his next step. One day when she came back from dance lessons she found him sitting on their couch, twiddling his thumbs.

"Hi baby." She chirped, getting no response from him.

"Finn, what's up?"

"It's nothing, I'm fine."

"Finn Hudson you know you can trust me with anything, please tell me what has you looking so down."

"Rach, I'm such a loser. Look at me, I have no idea what to do and you deserve a man with direction. Not someone who's just so… _confused."_

She hugged him tightly, peppering kisses on his jaw. "Well, I think you're the greatest man in the world and a true inspiration… I think you're over thinking this. What would make you the happiest man alive?"

"Well, you already do."

"I mean, what's the thing that you wish for secretly at night? The one thing you know would make your life complete?"

"That… that I could've helped Puck… you know? Or that my dad hadn't lost himself… I guess those are the two things that will always be painful."

"Then do something about it." She said, giving him a kiss and going for a shower.

* * *

Her statement puzzled him for the next couple of days yet it slowly bounced around his mind forming a plan. He had to revive every contact he ever had and even ask Burt for his congressman influence but eventually, the Puckerman Centre for War Veterans was founded and he made damn sure his fellow soldiers had a place where they could go and talk about their horrifying experiences with someone they knew. He even managed to find Dr. Emma Pillsbury, a very gifted therapist to create and manage the therapeutic session of the center. He was in charge of the music area, holding many music programs for the soldiers just to take a break from reality for a while. It did wonders for them and Finn found peace in the fact that though the war had taken two very important figures for him, friends and family out there didn't have to go through that loss thanks to the help he provided.

Their schedules had been hectic. Eighteen months since they came to New York and it seemed like now that the Center was supporting itself and Rachel's senior year was halfway through, they truly had found a balance. When the Tony nominations came she of course had been selected. She asked him to marry her the day of the award, she figured what better day to earn her most coveted goal than the day she would finally be Rachel Hudson.

"How are you sure you're going to win though?" Finn asked

"Because every time I sang, I did it for you." She replied simply, kissing him so hotly Finn couldn't wait for the damned Tony's to arrive.

* * *

The day before their nuptials, Rachel woke him up with a gigantic grin on her face.

"Finn, come on. Get dressed."

"Rach, it's seven in the morning and I know for a fact we both have the day off. Can we just cuddle in bed?"

"Don't make me tickle you."

"I'm up" He got dressed, wondering what his fiance had in mind.

She led him to central park, not revealing anything. He was starting to get nervous, what if she had like.. bad news and wanted to give them to him in a public place? Before his mind could conjure up a weird scenario, she pointed at a small family.

"Do you see that little blonde girl?"

"Yeah?"

"I might have pulled a few strings with the help of Burt and... Finn? That's Beth, Puck's daughter. She was adopted by a loving family and according to her social worker, she couldn't be a happier child."

He watched the little girl and couldn't believe he hadn't noticed before. The four year-old was a mini-Quinn with Puck's mischievous grin. She did look happy and healthy... probably happier than if he had adopted her in the midst of his pain. Just like that, the final ghost of his past closed another chapter of his suffering.

It was the best wedding present he could think of.

* * *

She was a dream in white on their wedding and a fantasy in black for the Tony's. She won, of course.

"Wow… I'd like to thank everyone in the production you made the experience unforgettable. Thanks too to my dads, for always believing in me and to the Hudmels, for welcoming me in their family too. A special thanks to Carole, who gave me a mother's love I never knew. Finally, I wish to thank most my gorgeous husband. Yes, press, Rachel Berry is officially Rachel Berry-Hudson now. Finn saved my soul in a moment when I thought I didn't have one anymore, he made my heart pump again to the rhythm of his. We're not perfect and we're both messed up but he understands me like no one can and as long as I have him in my life, I can breathe. This award is because of you baby, because you got me here and I'm so, so proud of you. Please look up his work for War Veterans, it's truly an inspiration and every day I hope I made you proud. I love you and I can't wait for tonight."

He stood up, blind to the fact he was in an event and met her halfway, kissing her fiercely.

* * *

Their first night together was everything she hoped it would be. Jesse might have taken away her physical virginity but she never let him in like she did Finn, she was completely his and loved it. The first time he was gentle, caring, making sweet slow passionate love to her. That night ended in four rounds, each of them getting more intense, neither of them getting tired of each other. After that day, they were veritable bunnies in terms of physical intercourse and she loved every minute of it.

After she graduated she took a break, not because she didn't know what she wanted to do but because she was pregnant. Their son, Noah Christopher Hudson was now five; their mantel had two more Tony awards and the Center for Veterans expanding more and more each day.

Finn now feared loneliness because he never knew company was so blissful. Finally, the part of his soul that he thought would never mend felt fully healed. His son, the light of his eyes, was everything good in this world and he couldn't resent the universe anymore for his tragedies. They had all been worth it because it led him where he was now. He'd never forget Puck but thinking of his best friend now didn't give him pain, just an overwhelming sense of gratitude. He knew that from the outside his life looked average, normal. No one knew how hard it had been for him and Rachel to achieve that but they did because their love was more important than any pain. In the end, normal people lived together. Normal people didn't want to be alone. Finn Hudson, thanks to his little broken girl, was now normal and the thing about normal people? They hated Cabin Fever.

* * *

_**I'm working on a new story and I have a small three-part story in the works, the first part should be published in just a few minutes. **_

_**Don't forget to believe in the tether.  
**_


End file.
